Quiet Shame

Back in September, during Open House weekend, I went to visit the Royal Artillery Barracks in Woolwich - a curious building with a curious history. But I'm not talking about that today, I'm more concerned with something I learned that morning which has been troubling me ever since.

Our group was shown round the barracks by the man in charge - always good to get the head honcho - and I took the opportunity to ask about the fate of the Rotunda.

For those of you who aren't aware of this very, very odd building, tucked away behind a screen of trees and a fence of barbed wire (the photos here are the best I could do back in the summer - there's just no way of really seeing it any more...), it's a weird tent-like structure, which started out as exactly that - a tent.

John Nash built it in 1814, in the grounds around Carlton House Gardens. It was the centrepiece of six tents created to celebrate the defeat of Napoleon (so what if it was all a bit previous...)

Everyone liked the tent so much that Nash decided that it was too good just to take down again, so he hit upon the idea of surrounding the tent walls with brick, and covering the canvas roof with a rather splendid, sweeping lead version to protect the original. I guess the equivalent would be if someone put a giant metal dome over the top of the O2.

The whole thing was moved to Woolwich in 1820, to become the Museum of Artillery - which it was for about 180 years. It even got a revamp in 1975.

When the Woolwich Arsenal was turned into what it is now, it was decided to create Firepower, and all the stuff was moved from the Rotunda to the new museum. They're still moving the last cannons, I understand. Here's one:

What one makes of Firepower is an individual matter. But the question of what happens to the Rotunda next is one that I'd never fully got to the bottom of.

It's completely closed, with high fences and the aforementioned trees, though it would have once had fantastic views - for miles around. I knew that the place had reverted to the MOD so I took the opportunity of asking our guide what would be happening.

Frankly, after he told me (he was completely, and typically militarily up-front about it) the rest of the weekend was a bit of a downer for me and I've been trying to get my head around it ever since.

When the final cannons go (and they may have gone by now, though I doubt it - they're big buggers) the place will 'have the lights turned off.' That, to you and me, means it will just be left, to moulder away. No access, no views, just a quiet rotting into the earth.

It's economics, of course, that dictate this. The guy told me it takes sixty-odd grand a year just to stop the place collapsing (it faces special architectural problems due to its 'unusual' construction) and he has other drains on his finances - not least huge amounts of military memorabilia that finds its way into his hands which he's supposed to lovingly curate.

I expressed my distress at this news, trying hard to lower my voice from the strangulated squeak it had become. He said that he would be interested in talking to anyone that could make a financial go of leasing it - after all - it's a liability - sixty grand a year before you do anything to it (and I'm not sure if they're even going to spend that when they finally go...)

I would SO love to see something happen to this - but what - and with what kind of cash? The place is listed (of course) but there's no real stick to beat the MOD with if they just let it moulder. It's out of the way - I can't even see what it could be used for - but hell - this is a John Nash building that is at the very least 'exotic.' Surely there's something...

Livin' Up The Arsenal

Tiffany asks:

"Wondering if any of your devoted readers could help out on deciding whether or not to move to Royal Arsenal. My family is currently in GMV but we'd like more space. Royal Arsenal is lovely, but as we don't know anyone there, we don't know what it's really like to live in Woolwich, or how the schools are, etc. Would definitely like some help!"

The Phantom replies:

I suggested the Arsenal to a friend of mine who was moving into the area recently. He ignored me, but I still think it's not a bad choice if you're scared off by like-for-like prices in Greenwich.

It's a bit on the quiet side - but no more than the GMV, and there's the throbbing (not always in a good way) hub of Woolwich town centre on your doorstep. You get great transport links - what you lose in the Jubilee line at the GMV you make up for with the DLR, fast trains into London (they don't all stop at all the stations) and the lovely boats (though I don't know how many actually go that far, come to think of it.)

It's clean and fresh, with good views and the Thames Path for get-out-ness but do check that wherever you're looking at Berkley Homes doesn't have any plans for in-filling the gap in front of you - I vaguely remember reading somewhere that to claw back cash they lost, they're building more blocks of houses than originally agreed and you may find your lovely river view compromised (can't swear to that - it was back in the days when I used to get local papers - long, long ago...)

Downsides - well - it is Woolwich - though given what Greenwich town centre can be like of a weekend night, maybe it's not so bad. You'll miss the Sainsburys at the peninsula - if memory serves the best you'll do until the Giant Tesco of Doom arrives is a Lidl - and, of course the market, which isn't too bad, but is more interested in selling you a mobile phone cover than a cabbage. You mention "family" which sort of implies kiddies to me - I have no idea what the schools are like.

On the other hand, you'll never want for pound shops or burger bars and there are some fab bargains to be had down the high street, which has a sort of provincial-town atmosphere to it. The M&S is an outlet (sadly the BHS one next door has gone the way of all undies...) and the Clarks factory store's great - Phantom tip - take a friend - they often do two for one or three for two deals.

Don't miss the Favourite Inn, round the back of the DLR station - a great family-run Chinese restraurant. I take a train to eat there on a regular basis.

Personally, I like Woolwich. It's scruffy, yes, and a bit of a building site just now (isn't everywhere..?) But you get more for your cash there and it's on the river, which is never a bad thing.

Funny Ha Ha

Ha Ha Road SE18

You know it never occurred to me that there would actually be a ha-ha in Ha Ha Road. I always assumed that it was a leftover from the grounds of Charlton House and it would be long gone.

Nevertheless I was walking along it the other day (hands up - it was first time I had ever walked along there, normally I'm driving) and was absolutely amazed to see that the ha-ha not only exists but is in damn fine condition.

It appears to be nothing to do with Charlton House; everything to do with Woolwich's military presence.

I confess I'm surprised - I tend to associate ha-has (holding-walls with a ditch or sharp drop one side, usually erected as invisible barriers between formal gardens and the rest of the landscape, preventing animals from chomping the flowers, but without nasty fences - hugely popular in Capability Brown's day) with grand old country piles, rather than army security. I guess it must just come from less hisk-risk times.

It flanks the Barrack Field of Woolwich Garrison, and the brick gateposts of what must have been a rather splendid entrance are still there, as are some curved stone curbs. I can't tell whether the ditch that leads into Charlton Park Lane is a continuation of the ha ha that's not been so well looked after, but I am absolutely delighted to see that the bit along Ha Ha Road is in such good nick.

There's a story that goes round that ha has are called that because when unsuspecting people failed to look where they were going and fell down the ditch everyone else found it hilarious. A nagging doubt about this is going through my mind - I have a feeling there's a much duller reason for the name - a corruption of the French word for it or something equally prosaic. Maybe Capability Bowes can help me out here?

Favourite Inn

Today, Folks, I bring you something a little out of town - but a secret that if you don't know it already, you will thank me for sharing with you...

We were talking recently about the lack of decent Chinese eateries, but when Henrietta asked me the other day about places to live, I was reminded of one that really deserves a mention.

Round the back of Woolwich Arsenal train (and soon to be DLR) station, lies the intriguingly-named, somewhat tatty Spray Street. And in the middle of Spray Street, about two minutes' dawdle from the station, lies The Favourite Inn. Brightly-lit, which makes it especially welcoming on a dark rainy night, you really can't miss it.

Don't expect anything glamorous - simple decor, with the ubiquitous plain-walls-bar-and-strange-fairy-lights combo - but what it lacks for in ambiance is more than made up for by the welcome - solicitous and attentive - and the food.

I have never eaten a bad meal at this place. I've had things I preferred to others - the King Prawns with Cashew Nuts were a hit where I wouldn't particularly order the Scallops with Ginger and Spring Onion again (nothing awful about it, just nothing exciting) - but it's always been well-cooked and nicely flavoured.

But the real ace in the hole for those with vegetarians in the group (as we often have) is the Crispy Aromatic Duck. It's wonderful - and for once the veggies don't have to sit around watching the carnivores with their tongues hanging out. I have no idea what is actually in the Crispy Aromatic "Monk's Duck" - but it's totally vegetarian and just as tasty as the real thing, so everyone can sit around together with piles of wafer-thin pancakes, dishes of hoi sin sauce and shredded spring onion, fighting over the last shreds of crispy seaweed.

Give it a try. This is an honest, simple place that has always come up with the goods when I've been there. I don't know what will happen to it when the whole area gets regenerated, but it's survived so far...

http://www.favouriteinn.co.uk/