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Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Hot News

Straight off the press, folks.

I emailed the Cutty Sark Trust yesterday about my idea for an Observation Platform - and have just received this from Julia Parker, Operations Manager:

"Guess what? We will soon be having a viewing platform!It’s taken us a while to sort out the details, but hopefully we should have it in place within the next month.I’ll send you an update as soon as I have an exact date….."

So - not quite because of me - the idea was in the ether already - but hey - who cares. Beat you to the front of the queue, guys...

Julia's said she'll send me some up to date pics too. Cor...

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Tuesday, 13 May 2008

Cutty Sark Cash-Generator-O-Matic

I've just had a thought. Every time I go past the Cutty Sark's boarded-up hulk, I see some one or other trying to peek through the little gap in the gate where the padlock goes. Sometimes there's even a little queue of nosy parkers trying to get a glimpse of what's going on - especially now there are interesting noises again. And let's face it - we're all just a little bit curious to know how things are proceeding behind that chipboard and plastic shell.

Don't you think it would be great if they created a little scaffolded observation platform, where people could pay a couple of quid a pop to watch the work going on? It would surely pay for itself - they might even get a local company to donate the equipment and erection in return for a little sign on the side - and they'd get more money towards the restoration programme. It could even be a little ramp so that wheelchairs could get up there too - after all it's not that high up.

I'd certainly return on a regular basis - especially if there was the odd expert around to answer questions from time to time. And it would be a good way of getting tourists involved in the works so they'd be more likely to return when it was finished.

What do you think, folks? Shall I suggest it to them? Would you pay a small fee to see the restoration works? How much? Maybe they could do a loyalty card scheme - where you get your card stamped every time you visit the works - a full card would be a free visit when it all opens again?

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Friday, 2 May 2008

Atlantic Worlds

National Maritime Museum

Since I STILL can't upload any pics (apologies to everyone who's sent me some absolutely amazing ones) and, given the, ahem, changeable, weather just now I thought I'd take a peek at an indoor thing to do this weekend.

Atlantic Worlds was, I am sure, advertised when it opened last year, but not round here. I eventually saw a poster at Bank tube station, and it's been a sort of periphery in my mind as a vague something to check out but the Maritime Museum often forget in their flurry to get tourists that some of them will come from locally. I see precious little advertising aimed at us.

Which is why it's taken me about 6 months to get round to checking it out. It is, in case you haven't really heard of it either, a major new gallery at the museum which, as the name suggests, deals with the Atlantic Ocean and Man's involvement with it. It's at the back of the museum on the first floor and it has two entrances. I'd recommend the left one as you come in - I'm a chronological kinda Phantom - get your ticket then take the left-hand fork, make your way past the rubbish water tank with floating things in it on your left and the gilded barge on your right (which, I noticed yesterday, no one's allowed to photograph) and go up the back stairs in front of you.

What I like most about this exhibit is that it's not interactive. There is nothing to press, no annoying flaps to lift, no obvious questions aimed at schoolchildren (or if there are, they're well-disguised.) This is a grown up gallery for grown up people, rather than always aiming at the lowest common denominator. It's sophisticated in its design and lighting, and follows a narrative, and though I could have taken a few more exhibits from out of their gigantic stores - space is all very well and good, but I've always felt that the Maritime Museum has a bit too much of it - it's a story generally well-told.

It starts out with the exploration and colonisation by Europeans of Africa and the New World - the first thing you see is a fab map of North America, a good half of which consists of unknown territory and California is depicted as an island. It follows into the trade that was brought between the various continents and the exploitation of the ocean itself (including one solitary case dealing with our fishing heritage - a woeful gap in the museum's collection - whaling gets more attention) and a slightly unnecessary large glass case with examples of the most common goods traded.

The major part of the exhibition deals with slavery (presumably something to do with the anniversary of the abolition last year) and the campaign against it. It's nicely done, only a tiny bit sensationalist - presumably the guillotine is to entertain the schoolchildren who have nothing to press - and not quite as worthy as it might have been.

The final part (or first, if you choose to be perverse and start at the other end...) is to do with the various wars and conflicts surrounding the Atlantic - cue General Wolfe & Co.

Actually, I've just read the leaflet, and apparently there are interactive installations - at either end of the gallery.I am happy to say I missed them.

This is a classy exhibit. It looks great, and there are some fascinating items. Ultimately there isn't really enough stuff there for my liking, but I'm an old-fashioned Phantom who loves clutter - point me at The Petrie Museum or Sir John Soane's house and I'm a happy spectre - and as galleries go this is 21st Century Adult.

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Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Inline Woes

A red-faced Nigel has raised the issue of rollerblading in Greenwich Park:

"I have just walked back from Greenwich park after being told by the local plod, that Roller Blading was 'banned in the park'. I asked since when; he replied 'Since forever, we have been told that any offenders must be reported.' WOW!

He didn't report me as I believe he felt a bit stupid telling me, but that's it, all the kids, families who bought their shiny blades have nowhere to go. Unless you can suggest somewhere?"

The Phantom replies:

You know I've always had a sneaking desire to have a go at rollerblading. I haven't, of course, having a) no sense of balance b) no sense of co-ordination c) no level of personal fitness, but all the same it looks fun.

I can understand why they don't want people bombing around Greenwich Park (especially people like me - I really would be a danger to myself and others) but it does seem a shame that there isn't anywhere to play safely.

The Thames Path would be one option - though please - not the bit outside the Royal Naval College - I'm always being buffeted by cyclists who insist on ploughing their bikes through the people walking there when it's only five foot wide, and rollerblades would just make it worse. That really narrow bit's only about 100 metres long for heaven's sake - can't they just walk that little distance? The rest is fine - I cycle myself there - but that tiny path's crazy.

For the moment, I reckon that the Peninsula has wide enough paths and few enough people for you to be able to work up a bit of speed without too many problems.

I've always thought that that bit under the Woolwich Road Flyover could be adapted to make a skateboard park - though the fumes would, naturally, hasten an early death for the participants.

Any other suggestions?

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Thursday, 20 March 2008

Book Clubs

Esther asks:

I was wondering if you knew of any book clubs in Greenwich?

The Phantom replies:

I just did a quick google and could only find messages from people looking to join one... I suspect that your best bet will be taking a quick look around the libraries - maybe on the noticeboards - or perhaps Greenwich Community College. But I bet that this is just the sort of thing you lovely folks will know about. Can anyone help Esther?

If you're going to one, make sure you choose a nice Greenwich-related book - I've reviewed a few in the books section...

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Monday, 18 February 2008

Photography Club/Darkroom

Phil asks:

I was wondering if you knew of any local photography clubs that might (quite literally) offer 'development opportunities'?

My wife is a keen photographer but would like to develop her own photos (still in the analogue age!) using a darkroom/enlarger/liquids etc - are there any either in Greenwich or possibly slightly further afield (I would have thought Goldsmiths would have some facilities but I doubt if they're available for use by the public)?


The Phantom replies:

You know, Phil, only in the last week have I seen a local course charmingly described as "analogue photography," but I can't for the life of me remember where. In the meanwhile, though, Greenwich Community College's Greenwich Park site does a couple of courses in traditional photography and printing.

It would be worth talking to the folks at Viewfinder Gallery - they don't, I believe, do courses themselves, but I bet they know of people who do.

Aperture is the Woolwich Photographic Club - founded in 1892, and appears to be very active.

I know there are a lot of photographers who drop by this blog - maybe they can help you further...

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Sunday, 17 February 2008

A Potted Old Royal Naval College History...


...for Jack, who asks:

I have tried everwhere 4 info about the Greenwich Hospital in Greenwich Park During the war it was used as an air raid shelter by the local residents my wife being 1 of those. Can u help me please.

The Phantom will try...

The reason why you may have had difficulty finding out about Greenwich Hospital is that it changed its name and became The Royal Naval College in the mid 19th Century - it is currently the OLD Royal Naval College. Although that was about 150 years ago, it's likely that the locals never stopped referring to it as the Hospital in the early and mid 20th Century.

I'm guessing you're not from round here - otherwise you'd have visited these fabulous buildings - they are open to the public nowadays and make a wonderful day out.

In many respects it's a case of 'what would you like to know?' I could write an entire blog about this incredible place - not just one post!! (I frequently write about different aspects of it on here, though. The more you find out about it, the more there is to find out.

I'll give you a general overview for now, but I urge you to try to make a visit to see it for yourself.

It's built on the site of at least two old palaces. The first was built by Duke Humphrey of Gloucester, on top of an old priory, which had been granted in a brief moment of piety by Henry V after he won the battle of Agincourt. After Henry's death, his brother Humphrey swapped some land with the monks and built his palace there. Actually, the monks got quite a good deal - they ended up with better land - even if they would only lose it again later under Henry VIII.

Humphrey's palace was called Bella Court, and he also had a tower built on Greenwich Hill - where the Royal Observatory is now. While he was there he founded a library - which was to become the basis for the Bodliean Library at Oxford. It didn't last. Henry VI's ambitious wife, Margeurite of Anjou, had her eye on Humph's palace and, after accusing his wife of witchcraft (it was claimed she had been sticking pins into mannekins of the King,) 'arrested' Humphrey and he rather too conveniently died.

Marguerite moved in and prettied-up the palace, by now called "Placentia." It became the favourite of the Tudor monarchs - both Henry VIII and Elizabeth I were born and held court there. If you care to wander though this blog you can find some stories of those times in there.

It was beginning to get a bit dog-eared by the time that James came to the throne - he started building what is now the Queens House on the site of Katherine of Aragon's garden and the old palace fell into disrepair.

What really did for the old girl was the Commonwealth. Oliver Cromwell sold off all the valuable stuff in the palace, and allowed his men to vandalise the buildings. On the reformation Charles II decided to build anew and created the first of what would be come the buildings of the Royal Hospital.

It was Queen Mary (of WilliamandMary fame) that really founded the Royal Hospital though, She was shocked at the sight of all the old, crippled sailors hanging around with nowhere to go after serving their country. Her husband indulged her and they took on Sir Christopher Wren as architect (working for nothing, by the way.) Hewanted to pull down everything and build a radical new complex, but he was thwarted, just as he was with his grid-plan London after the Great Fire.

Mary insisted she wanted to keep her palace (The Queen's House) and that she wanted a view down to the river. Her husband wouldn't hear of knocking down the King's House. Wren had to work around those two constraints, but what he came up with was extraordinary - today's wonderful - and arresting sight - best viewed from the river, so if you come, do try to get a boat down from London. Mary died suddenly, though, and her broken-hearted husband carried on in her name. The first pensioners moved in in 1704 during the reign of Queen Anne, who did nothing to the palaces, save pinch one of the ceilings for her best friend's house.

There were a lot of wars around that time - and hence, a lot of disabled seamen, but by 1869, there were fewer wars, fewer pensioners and many of them 'lived out,' ayway, and the hospital closed. It was turned instead, into the Royal Naval College, training young naval cadets. It continued as such, with the addition of the National Maritime Museum in 1934, until 1997, when it, too, closed.

Although part of the University of Greenwich and Trinity College of Music occupy two of the buildings today, much of it is open to the public - the best bits being the wonderful chapel and the exquisite Painted Hall, decorated by Sir James Thornhill.

I've been trying to think which bits would have been safe for sheltering in in the war, and I can only really think of the crypt - the only part that remains of the old medieval palace. I would be terribly grateful to hear any of your wife's memories about sheltering there. There is a lot of material written about really old history - but very little about the 20th Century. If she wouldn't mind, I'd love to know anything she'd like to tell me.

Do try to get to see The Old Royal Naval Hospital. If you go on one of the guided tours they will take you down to the crypt as part of the tour - it's not open otherwise.

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Monday, 14 January 2008

Youth Sport

Anon asks:

My teenage son is interested in training for a future mini marathon. Do you know of any clubs he could join?

The Phantom replies:

You know this one was a hell of a lot more difficult to find than I had originally thought. It seems that almost every noticeboard you pass is advertising some youth sport or other - but when you're actually looking for things, they all seem to disappear.

The Serpentine Club is a London-wide running club for people training for the marathon. The club trains in Greenwich Park among others, and looks pretty serious, but I can't tell if it allows young people.
http://www.serpentine.org.uk/

The Boys and Girls Club of Greenwich do athletics, though opportunites for teenagers seem less impressive than for kiddies.

http://www.bcgb.org/

Apparently if he wants to enter the official mini marathon he'll need to get in contact with his borough team manager. I've tried calling the council sports dept - 8921 8406 no luck - you might fare better. In the meanwhile I would suggest that you ask at the Arches about teen athletics clubs.

If your son feels he might be ready soon, he could actually try entering this mini marathon:

http://www.greenwich.gov.uk/Greenwich/LeisureCulture/SportLeisure/MiniLondonMarathon.htm

Or even try out for the London youth games
http://www.greenwich.gov.uk/Greenwich/LeisureCulture/SportLeisure/LondonYouthGames.htm

Or maybe someone sportier than me (not hard) knows of a local group?

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Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Is it just me, or is the first thing you get when the phrases "Rock & Roll" and "Hall of Fame" are bandied about is a vision of Annie Lennox in a yellow tartan suit, David Bowie in a cape and Thriller-era Michael Jackson covered in pigeon-shit? I have a horrid feeling that the O2 are going to have to work very hard indeed to get the Rock Circus image out of most people's minds with their new 'state-of-the-art' British Music Experience.

I'm not going to forget that place in a hurry - epitomising the word 'seedy' from inception, with its poor plastic models of great pop stars waving mournfully from the balcony of the Trocadero at Piccadilly Circus, gradually turning a white-ish grey from gifts left by the square's feathered inhabitants, attractive only to red-booted foreign teenagers on exchange trips (though of course eclipsed now by the sex 'museum' in the Trocadero's basement. I suspect that the sex museum has a similar target audience.)

On the other hand, I do actually think that if you're going to have a Rock & Roll museum anywhere (which isn't necessarily a given - Rock & Roll is a transient, ephemeral thing - of the moment, almost impossible, it could be argued, to capture,) the O2 is the one place that might just pull it off. It's not a new idea - it was always in the plans (i.e. it's not there instead of the ill-fated casino) and let's face it, the amount of space left in the Dome even after the Arena, Indigo2 and all those eateries would house a hall of fame for every music style going, so it's worth a go, I guess. They will have a ready-made audience in the crowds arriving early in the (probably vain) hope of missing the, well, the crowds, actually, and if they can pull it off it could just work.

Apparently rare items once owned by David Bowie, Led Zeppelin and, ahem, The Arctic Monkeys, will be featured with interactive displays and booths where visitors can record their own songs, opening next February. IMHO the problem is that Rock & Roll is almost inherently grungy and even tacky (which of course is much of its charm) and somewhere as slick and corporate as the O2 getting the balance between edgy-tack and safe-pap will be an interesting challenge. We'll see.

Will I go next February when it opens? Do pigeons crap on Freddie Mercury?

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Wednesday, 26 December 2007

Killer Boxing Day Quiz

As promised some time ago, a Greenwich Quiz for while you're all sitting around too full to move. I'm told it's impossible, but I accept no responsibility for any ensuing fisticuffs. Most of the questions should be do-able if you've been reading this blog long enough but answers can be found in the first comment....

1. Who wrote "I then asked the poor man if the distemper had not reached to Greenwich. He said it had not till about a fortnight before; but that then he feared it had, but that it was only at that end of the town which lay south towards Deptford Bridge"

2. How many 'bobbles' does the tower of the former Christ Church (The Forum) have left?

3 Where can this splendid fellow be found?



4. Who, or what, does the little memorial in the garden at Ballast Quay, outside the Harbour Master's Office, commemorate?

5. Which notorious pirate came to a mutually-profitable agreement with Queen Elizabeth I at Greenwich?

6. Which town is twinned with Greenwich, and which country is it in?

7. Where was Crowder's Music Hall situated?

8. Where was this picture taken?



9. Where was the Parthenon Palace of Varieties?

10. Who used to hang out at Gambardella's Cafe at the Blackheath Standard?

11. What did Samuel Pepys hear on the 22nd April 1664? Was it

a) News that the Dutch were preparing to invade?

b) A nightingale?

c) Plague-ridden dogs barking at Deptford?

12. Which famous novel has a wedding feast set at The Trafalgar Tavern?

13. Which of the following people, real or fictitious, did NOT visit Greenwich?

A. George Cruikshank

B. Sherlock Holmes

C. Bella Wilfer

D. Voltaire

E. Andre Le Notre

14. Whose statue is plum in the middle of the four main buildings of the Old Royal Naval College?

15. At which soon-to-be-hotel-if rumour-is-to-be-believed could you see this badge?


16. Why would Sir John Evelyn have a hatred of wheelbarrows?

17. Which writer used the pen name Nicholas Blake?

18. What is the Five-Foot Walk?

19. Which American building was directly inspired by The Queen's House?

20. Here is a piece of early advertising for fast food in 1684. At which event was the food served?

Kind master, drink you beer, or ale or brandy?

Walk in, kind sir, this booth is the chief,

We’ll entertain you with a slice of beef,

And what you please to eat or drink, ‘tis here,

No booth, like mine, affords such dainty cheer;

Another crys, Here master, they but scoff ye,

Here is a dish of famous new made coffee.

Well - I said it was hard...

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Friday, 21 December 2007

Ice Rinks


Ok, who's been on the ice rink at the Old Royal Naval College yet, then? I went for a nose yesterday - I wasn't wearing the right clobber to get on the ice but I wanted to check out the facilities.

I have to say it does look a hell of a lot better without that wretched marquee between the rink and the river - and the tree in the middle certainly gives it a festive feel. I really love the melding of ancient and modern with the tops of the skyscrapers of Canary Wharf framed by the two flanks of the ORNC (I know many hate that view but I think it's great) and the skaters in front just enhance the picture. I can't help wishing that they'd tarted up the generator box - maybe they could have disguised it as a giant present or something, but to be honest it doesn't show too much.
It's easy to get in as a spectator, just wander round - as I did - and sit, freezing, among the colonnades clasping a cup of cocoa from the surprisingly well-stocked coffee bar. The ice doesn't look too spongey and when I looked there were no tell-tale puddles - maybe it had just had a re-freeze. It seemed moderately full but not stupidly crowded.

So - it's looking good. I don't know how booked up it is at the moment -presumably it will go berserk next week. Grab those mince pounds (I have saved up several by now - all I have to do is remember to actually bring them with me) and get skating...

I had a look at the O2 'ice disco' too. An altogether more po-faced affair. It looks as though you need to be reasonably competent to even get on that one (which rules me out) and the music is bloomin' deafening (though maybe I'm just getting old...) It's ok if it's raining, I guess, but at eleven quid it's more expensive than the town centre one - and just - well - not as pretty. I preferred the beach. The food and drink don't look as good either (though there is plenty of choice if you care to move a few feet away from the rink.) On the other hand, they have to fill up that vast space with something and an ice rink is as good as anything. I'm always staggered by the amount of space they haven't filled up in there yet. No wonder the Corporate Fun of the Millennium Exhibition was so rubbish.

Has anyone actually tried either of these yet? Am I right in thinking the town centre one is nicer?

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Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Greenwich Eye

Hey - I just read in the Mercury that the go-ahead has been given for an observation wheel a la The London Eye next summer - just for the summer months, outside the Pepys Centre. I know grump-mongers moaned about this and it got rejected at first but I for one am delighted the decision has been overturned. We can debate forever about whether it would have been an even better view from Blackheath but I just don't buy that it would be a terrible eyesore when you look at all the (permanent) construction going on around here just now. I think it's fantastic news. You'll have to elbow me out of the way if you want front place in the queue...

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Thursday, 1 November 2007

Local Ghosts Quiz Answers

As promised - the answers to yesterday's quiz. Of course I did say "at least one" was made up - and once I got going, I had a high old time inventing fictitious ghosts...

1) The Roman Legion - this is apparently 'true.' I'm still not sure what a boiler was doing so far underground - but Malcolm Godfrey tells the story like he was there.

2) The penitent Viking - as Anonymous pointed out, this is indeed a crock of s*** cooked up by Yours Truly.

3)The Crew of the Boundless - a story I wish were true, but sadly total twaddle.

4)The Headless Pensioner - 'true'

5) The Helpful Handyman - 'true' - I will come to the tragic case of Admiral Byng on another day.

6)Pistol Jack - All made up. But you wouldn't have believed me if I told you that the real ghost in The Spread Eagle is the Victorian entertainer Dan Leno.

7) The Creepy Cash Register - unbelievably, this actually happened.

8) The Grey Lady - Greenwich has her own White Lady who patrols the Admiral's House at The ORNC - but Princess Caroline of Brunswick is not one of our local ghosts for local people (as far as I know...though next time you're walking past her bath at night listen out - you may just hear giggling and splashing sounds after all...)

9) The T'ween Deck of the Cutty Sark. - Actually I made this up too - but I could be more right than I know. Malcolm Godfrey tantalisingly refers to his upcoming book "Walking Ghostly Greenwich Part Three" (due out in Spring 2006, ahem...) in which he promises a full coverage of the ghosts of the Cutty Sark.

10) The Schoolboy Theatregoer. Jury's out on this one. He apparently manifested himself during a night of paranormal investigation, but someone I know who was there at the time experienced nothing save a slight draft coming up the stairs.

11) The Haunted Bag of Soot - Bizarrely there IS a haunted sack of soot - but it's not in Greenwich. A storyteller friend of mine told me that a bag of soot terrorises the good folk of Crowborough in Sussex, chasing them down the road (I get images of Black Bag in Viz at this point.) I didn't think you'd buy the "real" story so I invented the power station accident.

12)The American Officer - total fiction, based on the fact that Americans did train at the Naval College. Sorry, Anonymous, no George Clooney lookalikes here...

13) The Wedding Guest - a load of tripe.

Thanks for indulging my puerile sense of humour, folks... If you fancy something else, I'll create a Greenwich Trivia Quiz sometime around Christmas...

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Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Local Ghosts Quiz

As a consequence of reading Mr Godfrey's books and other local volumes, trawling the Internet, going on numerous walks (which, by the way, are excellent if you get an official one) and consulting a storyteller friend of mine, I'm beginning to think that most of Greenwich's ghosts are A Bit Crap.

So, by way of a bit of fun on this, All Hallows Eve, I thought I'd give you a little quiz. At least one of these 13 local ghosts is 'real' as reported by someone who reckons they've seen it. At least one is totally fabricated by Yours Truly. Your job is to work out which are true tales of horror and which are big fat lies.

Here goes: (in spookily chronological order)

1)The Roman Legion. Greenwich had a Roman encampment in the days before Ye Olden Days as it was on the route to Dover (there is, of course, what is assumed to be a temple in Greenwich Park) but it was with great surprise that two workmen removing an old boiler from underneath the Royal Naval College's Jacobean Undercroft a few years ago witnessed an entire legion of Roman soldiers in full uniform appear through a wall, march across the room, then disappear through the opposite wall. The boiler had been placed well under the original ground level, which accounts for the fact that their feet did not touch the ground.

2)The Penitent Viking. In 1998, two young men were enjoying a takeaway chicken meal sitting in the churchyard of St Alfeges. They had thrown the chicken bones into the bushes when they saw a bearded man in clothes made from what looked like fur behind them. He was picking up the bones, carefully gathering them into a small sack. When they looked back he was gone. It has been suggested that this is one of the vikings at the feast where St Alfege was martyred; that perhaps he is trying to gather the saint's bones together to give them a christian burial so his own soul can rest.

3) The Crew of The Boundless. After the removal of the bones from the burial ground at The Naval Hospital to East Greenwich Pleasaunce to make way for the new railway, a ghostly crew of sailors was reported in the mid 19th Century, making their way back to their original resting place in search of their missing crew member whose remains were left behind. It has been suggested that they are the crew of The Boundless, one of the ships that took part in the Battle of Trafalgar. There have been no sightings of the crew themselves for over a hundred years, although train drivers have reported seeing 'a ghostly figure' as they go through the tunnel. Could this be the missing man searching for his companions?

4) The Headless Pensioner. One evening during the 1990s, after a Naval Dinner in the Painted Hall, the manager came to turn out the lights and lock up. She was horrified to see a headless body in full Greenwich Pensioner uniform standing at the top of the steps, seemingly waiting for her.

5) The Helpful Handyman. An electrician who was carrying out rewiring in Queen Anne Court was delighted when a helpful old man in uniform hung around handing him the tools for the job. It was only later when he realised that friendly old chap had vanished that the electrician started to panic. It is assumed that this was one Admiral John Byng who was incarcerated in the hospital before being executed (unfairly) for failing in his duties. Far from being malevolent, he hangs around the college, opening doors for tourists and generally helping out.

6) Pistol Jack There are many ghosts associated with The Spread Eagle Inn, but the most enjoyable one is 'Pistol Jack,' a highwayman who terrorised Shooters Hill in the late 18th Century before being hanged at Tyburn in 1796. He might have been a fearsome robber up on the wilds of the heath, but he has only ever been kind to weary travellers resting at the Inn. Sightings have included him giving up his seat by the fire to a lady and replenishing the beer - when the barman has gone to change a barrel, he has found it still half full. He was usually to be found in the downstairs snug after hours but hasn't been seen since the refurbishment.

7) The Creepy Cash-register During a wedding at the Old Royal Naval College, a cash register was set up on "Nelson's table" - the table upon which his body is said to have lain in state. A guest bought two orange juices, but before the barmaid could touch the till, it opened up, having already calculated the correct amount.This happened twice that evening, each with different amounts and different orders.

8) The Grey Lady. There must be a veritable army of Grey and White Ladies haunting Britain. Our own local Grey Lady walks around the Chesterfield Gate section of Greenwich Park. Some have suggested she is the scandalous Princess Caroline of Brunswick, the estranged wife of George IV, who decamped to Greenwich after being shunned at court. Her mansion, since demolished was on this spot. Since the excavation of Caroline's bath (where she is known to have held raucous parties,) park rangers have reported hearing the sound of giggling and splashing coming from the vicinity.

9) The 'Tween Deck of the Cutty Sark. Before the recent restoration, late-night revellers at functions on the Cutty Sark regularly reported the distinct feeling that they are not alone on the 'Tween Deck. A Paranormal Investigation in the 1990s confirmed that it was the spirit of a young man from the tea clipper's glory days. It remains to be seen what happens to his soul after the recent fire.

10) The Schoolboy Theatregoer. A particularly cold spot in Row E of Greenwich Theatre is said to be host to the presence of a young boy who probably visited when it was still Crowder's Music Hall.

11) The Haunted Bag of Soot. During the 1920s, an horrific accident at Greenwich Power Station saw a young man crushed by a falling bag of soot collected from the coal furnaces. For several years after, his former colleagues claimed that sacks left in that part of the power station would mysteriously open and spill across the floor. It was always accompanied by a distinct drop in temperature in what was normally an extremely hot environment.

12) The American Officer. Among the many spirits who walk around the Old Royal Naval Hospital, one in particular stands out - that of an American Officer in WWII uniform. During the early part of the war, Americans were forbidden to sign up, but several felt so strongly they dodged the rule by coming to train in Britain. Few of them returned. This is probably Greenwich's most romantic ghost - he appears only to young women and is never a frightening presence.

13) The Wedding Guest. In what is now Rick's on Trafalgar Road, beloved by hen nights and engagement parties, there were several sightings during the 1980s and 90s of an "extra guest" sitting quietly in the corner. Dressed in outdated fashions, witnesses said she watched proceedings sadly. If approached she refused both offers of nibbles and dances but seemed grateful to anyone who spoke to her. She was always gone by 11.00pm, and nobody saw her leave. There are no theories as to who she was, but there has been a public house on this site for at least 120 years.

Answers tomorrow, folks...

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Tuesday, 2 October 2007

Sailor Chic

National Maritime Museum

to 2nd December 2007

What do the colour black, Christmas trees and sailor suits have in common?

They're all fashion-fads started by Queen Victoria and her family that, unlike other Victorian delights - crinolines, stuffed birds and child chimney sweeps - have stayed with us and, if anything, are even more popular now than on their introduction.

It was back in 1846 that Little Prince Albert Edward was given a miniature sailor suit to play in. He looked so cute that his mum had him painted wearing it, and so many people said "Aaahhh..." that suddenly every Victorian child was saddled with wearing the white trousers, white jacket with flappy collar and straw hat ensemble.

Little Bertie was clearly thinner at under-10 than he was by the time he became the tubby arbiter of Edwardian taste we're more familiar with. The first thing you see as you walk into the Maritime Museum's latest exhibition is that very sailor suit and I would defy any child of today to fit into it. Beautifully preserved, it shows that little Bertie-wertie was quite tall for his age - but ridiculously thin. The ideal shape, in fact, to be that child chimney-sweep...

I've been meaning to visit this exhibition since it opened in July, but truth told, I forgot it was on. Sadly, it would seem, so did everyone else. I just stopped hearing about it, and it missed even my phantom radar. I walked up to the desk, fiver ready in sweaty paw, only to be told it was now free to get in - apparently so few people came and actually paid that they made the exhibition open to all.

It's in the bit to the right that used to hold the history of navigation exhibit, which I was rather sad to see the end of. I really liked that sparkly sky and the Francis Drake stuff, not to mention dark bits where they displayed the Titanic material. Admittedly, though, it was like much of the museum - bright and light and extremely enjoyable, and when you come to think of it afterwards you remember the settings more than the exhibits themselves - in that respect it's an MTV-generation museum - you'll be temporarily entertained but can't expect depth.


They may have removed a good permanent exhibit to put on a nautical fashion show, but it is very enjoyable for all that. Near Bertie's suit there is a similar one from the early 20th Century later, virtually unchanged in 60 years, save for a little whistle on a lanyard. There are examples of real navy clothes - from mess suits and formal wear to duffel coats and blazers, then ways that fashion has taken ideas from the sea and turned them to its own uses. There are a pair of very fetching His & Hers Edwardian bathing costumes and some early maritime-inspired clothes from the steamer years of the 1920s and 30s.

By the stuff to do with WWII, there is a slightly annoying loop tape of films - various catwalk shows interspersed with Hollywood movies and news clips, put to a soundtrack of Gene Kelly, The Village People ("...In the Naveee")and some Andrews Sisters lookalikes. It's great the first time round but by the time I'd heard it 15 times it was driving me nuts.

There are several outfits from the New Romantic era - I enjoyed a natty pirate costume designed and worn by Adam Ant, for example (he was very thin, too, btw, and his hairdo could definitely imply a spell up a chimney...) Opposite is a sort of giant family tree of nautical design history.

The final cases house examples of some stunning designer-wear - Chanel, John Galliano, Vivienne Westwood - the usual suspects - but it's always wonderful to see what real couture clothes look like close-up - the detail is incredible. I particularly liked a stripy evening dress by J.P. Gaultier and a beaded top by Karl Lagerfield. I was less taken by a Laura Ashley suit from the 80s that looked like it would have been worn by a maiden aunt at a wedding, though I guess that's history too.

It's definitely worth a look - and, having seen it, it probably would even have been worth the £ 5 to get in. It's just a shame nobody went. IMHO they didn't publicise it enough...

Get over while you can and enjoy it for nothing. Zero. Zilch, Free, Gratis and at no extra charge.

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Tuesday, 25 September 2007

Thames Clipper


Commuter Service

It's the one form of public transport no one remembers - yet it's only recently fallen from favour. For centuries it was the quickest way to get around town, and it's still the most civilised. I'm not talking about the pleasure boats here - though I'm going to do a trip soon, just for the kick of it - I'm talking about the river bus, designed for and used by people going to work each day.

I have been meaning to join a commuter clipper at rush hour for some time now - and yesterday I actually managed it. I took a train to London Bridge and walked to Bankside Pier (just outside the Globe Theatre.) The little booth was shut (of course) and the signs seemed to imply that everything stopped at 4.30pm. That surely couldn't be right? But the place was empty and there was no traffic at all on the river. It's all part of the British Tourist Disinformation Service, clearly.

I was just about to give up when I saw a determined-looking guy with a briefcase striding down to the deserted platform. He clearly knew what he was doing so I hung around. A minute or two later, a small launch appeared up river and suddenly half a dozen people with briefcases materialised out of nowhere. Perhaps it's uncool to be seen queueing if you're one of that elite band The River-Rovers...

It's all very matey. A jolly chap in shirtsleeves hooks a rope over a bollard, and the boat bumps gently into the row of tractor tyres against the pier. He holds the launch close to the edge and greets you as you enter. A jolly young conductor in a suit and tie welcomes you aboard. In fact it's all - well - jolly.

And that gives me a great idea. I'll Make A Million. I can just see it now. I'll pitch it to CBeebies as a new TV programme for the under-fives - Jim and Ben the ClipperMen. Jim and Ben will be made out of foam rubber and will have merry stop-motion animated tales helping the commuters of London get to work. There would never be anything so uncivilised as terrorists or srikes on something as civilised as the Thames Clipper, of course. Perhaps one day a kitten will get stuck on a branch in the river or a naughty thief will try to steal a big diamond from the Savoy. Jim and Ben will come to the rescue. There's a hit Christmas single in it too-

(-that's enough children's TV - Ed)

So I got on board. Many of the seats were already taken by people with laptops or reading the paper. (Yes, London Lite has permeated even here. Whatever next? The Reform Club, perhaps?) No one was paying any attention to the view, except a couple of EXTREMELY fat tourists who kept complaining about how small the seats were (they were fine.)

Mind you, to be honest there wasn't much view to be had. The boat sat low in the water and the windows were so filthy with spray that it reminded me of buses in the 1970s whose windows were so caked with dirt you couldn't actually tell where you were. But this is the River. It's to be expected. And if you're not looking for detail there's still plenty to be seen - and from an angle you wouldn't normally get to view London from.

The river bus stops a lot more than I had expected. There is an express service, but being a rank beginner, I couldn't work out when it was. The website does help - but of course I hadn't bothered consulting it first. The commuter service goes all the way to Woolwich but it doesn't stop at the Dome - you have to get the designated "O2 Express for that." Jim comes round to clip your ticket - ever wondered what happened to the bus conductors of Olde London Town? They're on the river, folks.

I was surprised by how many people got on and off at each stop. The clipper really did fill up (though we are talking about 5.30pm - bang in the middle of the rush hour) and it seemed to be with people that do this every day. It takes longer - about 40 minutes from Bankside to Greenwich - and costs a bit more - £ 4, or £ 2.70 if you've got a travelcard, but you get a seat, people are polite and it's a much more visceral experience. You bob about on the water, you see curious and interesting things through the murky glass (it's not that bad, honest) and, cheesy though it may sound, you get a sense of continuity with the millions of Londoners who have used the river for the last thousand or so years. Besides - you get to meet Jim and Ben... And that view of Greenwich as the boat turns the bend in the river is one that I will never tire of. The Naval College, the Observatory on the hill - even the poor old Cutty Sark in her undies - wonderful.

As we were approaching Greenwich, Jim - or was it Ben - brought round newsletters for everyone. Apparently they've just taken delivery of four fab new vessels which will be much bigger and higher (better views, too, I hope) and will have cafes and bars. They're also expecting to expand the service. It read a bit like gobbledegook to me who was on the service for the first time, but what it boils down to seems to be including the Dome (oops, O2) from November and to be more frequent at peak times.

Give it a try, folks. And look out for those new launches - from the pics, they look damn fine.


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Saturday, 22 September 2007

Frisbee

How did it go, folks?

Do I need to get my frilly phantasmagorical cheerleader costume out yet? Altogether now...

Ra, Ra, On your marks
Have some larks
With the Cutty Sharks!

Ra, Ra,
When you're in the Parks
Watch your backs
It's the Cutty Sharks!

Ra, Ra
If your dog barks
He wants to join
With the Cutty Sharks!

Ra, Ra-
(that's enough "sharks" rhyming - Ed.)

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Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Frisbee in Greenwich park

I said the other day that I didn't want to turn this blog into a noticeboard, but here I go again...

Emma is a founder member of The Cutty Sharks, who are an organised "ultimate" frisbee team. Apparently this involves giving rules to frisbee throwing, which is just plain wrong, if you ask me. But plenty of people disagree and there is now such a thing as a London Winter League, which the Cutty Sharks will be joining. They're looking for new members, so if you fancy it, bowl up at Greenwich Park, on the flat bit between the Observatory and the Queen's House, this Saturday morning at 10.30. You don't need to have any experience, just to think that it sounds like fun...

www.ukultimate.com

www.whatisultimate.com

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November Courses at GCC

After my moan about the details being on PDF, the lovely folk at GCC have given me a proper link to those splendid looking courses at Royal Hill in November. The Phantom says check it out!

http://www.gcc.ac.uk/pls/hot_sys/hc_cmged.page_pls_all_content?a=171104&x=98744995510&y=1172906&page=craft_short_course

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Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Weekend Courses at Greenwich Community College

I've had a followup to the Greenwich Community College summer courses thread.

They say:

We were looking through one of your debates on the Greenwich Phantom website, which was about our lovely Royal Hill Centre (we call it the Greenwich Park Centre). We wondered if we could use your site as a platform to help spread the word about more fabulous craft/creative courses we have to offer this November.

We are running a range of weekend courses on Saturday 10th & Sunday 11th November 2007. Here is a link to the list of courses on our website.

http://www.gcc.ac.uk/pls/hot_sys/hc_cmged.page_pls_all_content?a=171104&x=98588521812&y=0&page=craft


The Phantom adds:

I don't really want to turn this blog into a noticeboard, butI know that many of you will want to know about this one - I've had a look at these taster courses and they look quite exciting. It's on one of those annoying PDF files, but worth checking out. Use it or lose it, folks!

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Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Greenwich Ice Rink

I was just, in a sudden rush of Christmas Spirit, booking tickets for the panto when an email popped into my inbox from Laura, telling me that booking is now open for Greenwich Ice Rink's 4th Season. So here I am, in the first bit of decent sun we've had all summer, sitting at my desk humming Jingle Bells...

Skating's going to be even better this year than ever, because that tedious marquee, which used to block the view of the river, is going to be done away with. Apparently the technology wasn't good enough in previous years to keep the ice frozen in the face of warm winds from the river, but they've souped-up the freezers this year (hello, global warming - but what a way to go...) and now you can stand at the Queens House and enjoy a festive view of girlies in little 1950s skating dresses and chaps in jolly sweaters with reindeer patterns, bobble hats and knitted scarves skating away with the River Thames in the background, while we all sing a rousing chorus of White Christmas.

There will still be a cafe, but it will be in the colonnades instead, serving the usual warming beverages - tea, coffee, hot chocolate. Mine's a mulled wine and a mince pie, ok?

www.greenwichicerink.com

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Thursday, 30 August 2007

Billingsgate Fish Market


It's a bourgeois tragedy. The meat's bought (GG Sparkes) the cheese and veg is safely gathered in (Cheeseboard and Creaky Shed) vast vats worth of wine, port and sherry arrived(Theatre of Wine - delivery's free) but - zut alors! The Fishmonger's closed for the week! What's a phantom to do? Only one thing to do - brave the Blackwall Tunnel and the hour-that-dare-not speak its name, and Go Wholesale...

I utterly hate getting up when there's a five in the hour. It makes me literally ill - some kind of weird pressure thing at that time of the day seems to contract my chest and make me really rather queasy. I will do anything to avoid it - including getting up when there's a four in the hour. Billingsgate opens at five on a weekday (no Mondays, remember, and only shellfish on a Sunday)and because we knew nothing about how the place works we decided to turn up as soon after then as possible.

As it happens, it seems that the real rush happens about an hour later - and who can blame a bleary fishmonger for wanting to get an extra hour in bed? These guys do it every day, including winter - yeuch - and I confess I have a new-found respect for Julian at The Fishmonger Ltd for doing it. The only thing that would make me go at 5.30am again is the Blackwall Tunnel - really quite fluid at 5.15 - and going back south at six, but with a good queue building already on the other side going north. And from a buying point of view 5.30 seems a good time to arrive too. The car park is busy but not overflowing; the fishmongers doing a fair trade but still able to talk.

I confess that being quite a shy and retiring kinda phantom I was a little nervous of a wholesale market. I was concerned that I would stick out like the proverbial sore thumb as the tourist among all the Gordon Ramsays, Marco-Pierre Whites and, er, Julians. I had this image that the traders might be quite hostile to someone who didn't want to buy a hundredweight of Dover Sole or a whole barrel full of eels. I had also assumed that there would be no prices anywhere and a sort of Turkish bazaar-style haggling system would be the norm. I had, of course, forgotten one thing. This is Britain.

Billingsgate is one of those things everyone should do at least once in their lives, even if only so that they know what they're buying at The Fishmonger, and what goes on to get the goods to the shop. Wandering around the place is an education in itself, though not, I understand, as atmospheric as the old Billingsgate in the City, whose cellars, I have heard rumoured, took several years to thaw out when it was redeveloped by greedy people in the 80s. Their loss is our gain, I say. The market's new location makes it about 12 minutes by car. You could go by DLR to Canary Wharf (about ten minutes walk from the market,) but you might not be popular with other passengers on the way home.

The main market is, of course, covered, and a lot quieter than I had expected. As you know by now, I live in some kind of hazy 1960s time warp in my head and although there is friendly Alfred Doolittle costermonger-type banter going on (yeah, yeah, I know he was fruit & veg,) it's not the racket I had imagined - and not a single geezer with one of them silly 'ats on at all. Nobody seemed to be in the slightest bit interested in the tourists - ie. us - they were too busy going about their business, and we happily wandered up and down the aisles marvelling at the sheer variety of sea life we'd never heard of. I mean - what the hell do you do with a Ribbon Fish?

The whoppers are sold individually. We bought the biggest salmon we could fit in the fish kettle for a tenner - the truly mooosive ones were about twenty quid. While we were about it we bought a huge side of smoked salmon, also for ten pounds.

Of course where retail fishmongers really come into their own is with the giant fish - the halibuts, for example - you really do need to buy the whole damn thing when one slice from the local fish shop would feed a family of four for a month. All the individual can do is wonder at these majestic creatures laid out on slabs of ice.

Most of the smaller fish you need to buy by the boxful so its well worth going with friends and divvying up the spoils or making sure you have a LOT of room in the freezer. We bought a box of beautifully-filleted rainbow trout for fourteen pounds - there were thirteen in there, which makes them just over a pound each (unprepared trout was much cheaper.) As a final treat, we bought a kilo of gigantic king scallops also for fourteen pounds(with free plastic box, whoopee.)

We were treated with courtesy and smiled at by people who, at that hour of the morning could be forgiven for being very crabby indeed. There are two greasy-spoon type cafes in the place, but we didn't stop to test them (they looked fantastic)as we had one eye on the tunnel.

Back home we divided the scallops into sensible amounts in separate bags, and clingfilmed individual trout fillets we weren't going to use. Our freezer is now full to bursting - and anyone coming to dinner chez Phantom can expect scallops, salmon and trout for the foreseeable future.

It's still only 7.43am. I can't believe I'm up. I'd forgotten how good coffee is this time of day.

Seriously folks. Try this once. Take the pain, get up at 5.00am. Wander around, experience a little bit of London's heritage, buy some fish (oh - handy tip - take plenty of bin bags to put your loot in - some supply bags, others don't, you don't want it dripping everywhere) - and then grovel before Julian's feet, knowing he goes through this rigmarole every day.

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Wednesday, 22 August 2007

Dudgeon-Type Cycle Network Milepost


Talking of milestones, there is a splendid one at the very tip of the peninsuala which was erected by the Milennium Commission. It's got a figure 1 on the top of it, but I can't work out whether it's the first milestone to be erected or part of Cycle Route One. The website for the Cycle network, Sustrans isn't the most useful I've ever found and although it shows a map, which implies that Route One makes up this area of the Thames Path, I can't find any official route map - others are listed but that one is missing - maybe one needs to buy a book.

Apparently it's a "Dudgeon-Type," officially called "Tracks," designed by Belfast artist David Dudgeon. There are four different styles of markers, all similar, but with significant differences by artists from the four countries that make up the UK. 'Tracks' is supposed to represent the marks left on the countryside by bike-riders though I'm not convinced that that would be a major selling point of cycling. At the bottom there is a poem by Dudgeon himself.

On each of the markers is an individual disc with a motif depicting an aspect of Time, with a part of a secret code. You're supposed to do rubbbings of each one, collect them and crack the code.

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Thursday, 31 May 2007

Greenwich Time Ball


It's one of those wonderful oddities of London which makes our city so vibrant. In the same way that we don't actually need beefeaters marching around a dead royal palace with a bunch of keys every night, an annual dinner for two warring livery companies to settle medieval differences or a bloke in black to open parliament every session, there is no real necessity for us to squint up at the Greenwich skyline at 1.00pm to set our watches, but if we ever catch the Greenwich Time Ball at that microsecond when it drops, we feel a little shiver of excitement; a little link with our maritime past.


It all goes back to that old chestnut of longitude, which I promise I'm not going into today. The problem had been more or less solved by the end of the 18th Century, but none of John Harrison's splendid clocks was going to stand a cat's chance in hell if they weren't set correctly to start with. Trouble was, that they didn't have radio-controlled digital timepieces in those days. A few people, such as ships' captains had clocks and watches, and the ships themselves, by the 19th Century, had chronometers, but they were useless if they couldn't be set.


They'd been experimenting with the idea of time balls in Portsmouth and in 1833, it was suggested by one Captain Robert Wauchope that Greenwich would be an ideal place for one for the Thames. John Pond, who was Astronomer Royal at the time, thought it was a great idea and the Admiralty agreed - Greenwich Observatory was well-placed, up a hill, and with the right instruments to gauge the time accurately. I doubt that Pond was quite as pleased when he realised that it would be the job of the astronomers working there to toil up the stairs of the little tower, haul the ball to the top of the weather vane then drop it at one o'clock every day, rain or shine, when they could be doing a million other, more exciting things.


Nevertheless, the world's first public time signal was duly manufactured by Maudslay, Son & Field. A giant red ball, with a winch, was installed. The ball was originally made of leather, which must have become like lead when sodden with winter rain.


I'm not going to go into the concept of standard time and GMT today - do try to contain your excitement, I'll come to it ;-) Suffice to say that the Observatory was central to anything that went on throughout the 19th Century to do with Railway Time, Local Time or any other time. But all through that time the Greenwich Time Ball was hoisted to the top of its little pole at two minutes to, then dropped precisely at one o'clock. As the years passed, telegraphic communication helped to let people across the globe know what the time was, but Greenwich remained at the centre.


Today the ball is automated - there are no more astronomers left to winch it up and let it drop. But it continues to do so by machine, every day like - well, like clockwork, I guess. It's aluminium these days, but still a big bugger. I heard they had to take it down for a spruce-up recently and it proved exceeding unwieldy.


Why 1.00pm rather than midday? At first I was told that it was because the astronomers were always doing important experiments at midday when the sun is at its apex, but more recently I've heard that it's because in order to know the exact time you have to know noon. Since you're actually waiting for noon, it's difficult to be really accurate, so once the astronomers saw noon, they could actually count more accurately to 1.00pm.


I am terribly fond of our time ball. Not least because it's discreet. If you don't know to look for it you might miss it completely. If you need the time it's there (set your watch precisely "1.00pm" the moment the ball drops) if you don't need to know, you don't get bothered. As a local resident, I guess I'm quite glad I'm not in Edinburgh where 1.00 is signalled with a cannon...

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Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Arches Leisure Centre

Trafalgar Road, SE10

The Arches are not, I confess, somewhere I frequent on a regular basis. Every so often I make a bit of effort and go for a week or so then somehow sink among the waves of apathy.

It's nothing to do with the facilities. They're really not bad at all. Built in 1928, the place has two pools, originally, would you believe, 'First' and 'Second' class. The 'First' class pool is what is now known as the 'Fitness' pool, roped into lanes of various abilities - from plodders to fitness freaks. Laning-off manages to avoid at least most of the problems, not least those pensioners who insist on doing widths, backstroke, across all the lanes, stopping suddenly for a chat with their mate just when you're trying to plod past in the opposite direction. It doesn't prevent the butterfly-stroke-show-offs, though, who plough past you in a fury of water sending everyone else flying in their wake.

But this isn't a post about pool etiquette, it's about the pool itself. What I love about it is the little individual cubicles running along each long side. They have swing doors, some with little modesty flaps in bright colours hanging from the top and are so cute, if rather battered now, that they just cannot survive any modernisation that may or may not (what do you think) that may go on. Neither, sadly, will the now-virtually-redundant stages that grace the ends of both pools. I like to think that they either drained the pools occasionally or covered them with a dance floor for balls and events and the stage was for bands. Of course it could be far more prosaic and the platform was just used for the Lady Mayoress, resplendent in giant picture hat and beaded dress to dole out the cups after swimming galas. It's painted with a jolly 1920s-style mural now and still has some of its original deco fittings.

Trivia - there is a scene at the pool in Camilla May's The Dead of Summer (see 'Books.')

The other (ex-'Second class') bath is now a 'leisure' pool - which at least separates the dive-bombing teenagers and toddlers who haven't yet quite managed bladder-control from the 'serious' swimmers. It has a very shallow end and little extra pools with fake sandcastles and rocks so that it can be easily cordoned off for classes and tinies. There seem to be a lot of classes of various descriptions. I have never seen anyone shooting down the curly slide, but that may have more to do with the fact that I don't frequent the pool enough than it's not being used.

There are two studios, one big, the other tiny, also used for classes. It is sometimes filled with squashy cushions for a creche. Right at the back there's a gym. It's not too full of scary muscle-men and not as intimidating as some I have been to. Plenty of baffling machines which, despite the fact that I once, Very Long Ago, had an induction, I can never remember how to use. I quite like the vibrating plate, but that's probably more information than you need. You can watch TV whilst you're on the bikes, but given the general standard of TV, both daytime and evening, you may choose to bring your own entertainment.

Uncertainty hangs like a sword of Damocles above the Arches roof. Given that rumblings and rumours of a new leisure centre at the Old District Hospital Site bubble under the surface and that the close proximity of The Arches to the centre of Greenwich makes it prime luxury-flat development potential, I don't hold out much hope for the place long-term. It's already looking tired round the edges (despite a refurb not so long ago in Local Council terms) but I don't see it ever being spruced up again. I don't know if it's listed (where can one find a list of listed buildings? I've searched and searched but at the moment if you're not an official you can only see a list in Swindon. I must check at the Heritage Centre...) but I reckon it is of 20th Century interest and I would hope that it wouldn't just be pulled down by developers. Surely they must be able to do something interesting with the existing building?

In the meanwhile, happy splashing...

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Monday, 28 May 2007

Peter Harrison Planetarium

The Old Royal Observatory, Greenwich Park

I'm sure that most people remember the lovely, cranky old planetarium at the Old Royal Observatory which closed a few years ago to make way for this new development. About 30 people per sitting got to climb up a bunch of fiddly old backstairs, right up to the very top of what is apparently "South Building" (which always felt slightly 'naughty' - being allowed somewhere which was obviously not really for the likes of us) and sit round the edge of the old dome on 1950s plastic benches (red, if memory serves) and gaze up at a cardboard cut-out silhouette of the London skyline while some wonderfully crusty old boffin in a knitted tie and baggy trousers gave us a commentary of our journey through the sky at night. It was always a bit of a lottery as to how interesting your particular crusty old boffin would be, but usually they were delightful and as fascinated as I was. There is something rather special about being talked to by a real astronomer...

I used to love that old place, with all its quirks and idiosyncrasies but if I stopped being romantic for just one second, it was hardly cutting-edge and fell way short of being everyone's idea of a good day out...

They closed the place three years ago, promising us a brand new one. If I'm honest, I didn't believe them. I thought it would be like when the BFI closed MOMI "for refurbishment" to avoid an outcry from furious film fans, then quietly never re-opened (they lost my membership over that - not, I guess, that they care. )

The Observatory needed stupid amounts of cash - they already had some - enough to rebuild the South Building into new galleries, but the extra required to include a planetarium seemed nigh-on impossible. I gave my own paltry sum, but it was a drop in the ocean. However it would seem that the National Maritime Museum has a lot of friends, all of who put in their own sums, presumably some of which amounted to rather more than paltry - for now it has re-opened, in sumptuous splendour and not a penny seems to have been pinched anywhere.

I have already talked about the Time Galleries in the really old bit, so I won't go into them here (you'll find them somewhere in my rambling archives...) The new bit really amounts to