Nelson Road.

SE10

What a sad looking street. This should be the most attractive shopping street in Greenwich and it has more shut shops per metre than even Trafalgar Road.

I've had several worried emails about it this week - here are just a few concerns:

"What is happening with Warwick Leadlay gallery?? I walked past this morning and all the windows are papered over! The notice on the door - which mentioned additional premises around the corner - was ambiguous as to whether the Nelson Rd site was going to reopen…
Please tell me that this is just a short-term thing and that they're not closing or moving the gallery we all love so much!"

"Where's Pistachios Cafe? I used to like eating there. Have you noticed its absence....? Is it closed permanently or undergoing renovations (signs on the door say re opening in mid march)"

"Rococo- gone overnight it seems!"

As far as Rococo is concerned - yes - that was a big surprise - there and seemingly flourishing (and a classy shop too) one day, dead and gone the next without a whimper.

But the other two - well - I'm cautiously optimistic. I have heard that Warwick Leadlay is actually expanding - its art department has already moved into Marcet Book's old site, and (or so I've heard) Warwick is devoting the Nelson Road shop to the antiquarian side. I hope and pray this is true. Ditto Pistachios - I walked past yesterday and frenzied activity inside suggested that the sign on the door is correct. I was never that wild about Pistachios myself - but I will give it another go when it reopens - hopefully much smarter.

But the rest of the street - and all those empty shops - what on earth are Greenwich Hospital Trust thinking? All the shops we're losing are the independents. GHT just HAS to do something about it - if not for our good, for its own. If Greenwich goes the same way as every other high street in Britain, full of bland chains, visitors will stop coming and GHT's income will go down. The shops look great - but they have nothing in them. I truly believe that GHT needs to cast a few sprats to catch a few mackerels - to give good rent deals to independents to keep Greenwich's individuality and visitor levels - good for all in the long run.

There is one small glimmer of curiosity. The old Thai place that burned down a couple of years ago seems set to rise out of the ashes in Japanese form. Itoshi, from what I can see from pressing my nose against the glass, will be going down the conveyor-belt-sushi route. I can't it's a chain - yet. BTW, Japanese definitely seems to be in just now - what with the likes of Zin and the superb Ginza, and a new Japanese grocery store down Trafalgar Road I haven't tried yet. Anyone been in there ?

Crane Street

SE10

One of the few streets left in Greenwich which really has a feel of what all of it used to be like In The Olden Days. It crosses the meridian, which of course the pubs that back/front onto it use to great advantage. "The first/last pub in the West," proclaims a sandwich board outside The Yacht.

It's a funny little passageway - for a street so short, it manages to pack an awful lot into it. It's part of the Thames Path, though the view of the river's a bit blocked there. It is possible to see it if you're inventive though...

Narrow and often on the dark side, its ancient flagstoned pathway, still with its old open drain down the middle, just invites nosey parkers to peer into the windows of the tiny cottages on the south side of it - most of the owners have cottoned onto that and have installed thick net curtains; I can hardly blame them. They have no front gardens to speak of but often have sweet little window boxes or fill up the tiny troughs in front of the houses which bring a breath of colour into the grey brick. I'd put them at mid 19th century but I don't really know.

On the other side of that part of the street two pubs slog it out. There used to be several more along that stretch, but were swept away in the mid 20th Century. The two that remain are the Trafalgar Tavern and the Yacht, a deceptively modern looking hostelry which has deeper roots than it might look - at least 300 years, though of course the current building isn't nearly so old. It was once called The Barley Mow - a pub name which seems to be dying out faster than others - am I completely wrong to think that The Hill was once the Barley Mow too? There's one listed as being in "Green Lane" in mid-Victorian times. And of course Gordon Ramsay's Narrow was the Barley Mow until about a year ago.

But I digress again. Also down that part of the street is a contender for the Phantom's Favourite Front Garden - a house backing onto the Thames, whose owners clearly adore living there. It's not a garden at all - but the collection of tubs, planters and window boxes is a joy to see. If you've got a rubber neck, and you can get into the Curlew Rowing Club next door (they opened it up for the Thames Race last year) you can see what they've done to the back of the house - a delightful area, wooden-decked, for all the right reasons and adorned with the kind of love that only true river-lubbers have.

The rowing club is supposed to be the oldest on the tidal Thames. I've always wondered whether there's rivalry between the North and South banks of the river - the Isle of Dogs has a club next to the foot tunnel. I find it amazing that there are enough people who want to freeze and sweat at the same time in such a small area but hey - it takes all sorts. The large double gates that open onto the riverbank for them to drag their boats to the water are a good place to be nosey.

Further up the street, a couple of lovely old pubs (from their photographs) were demolished to create modern buildings. I am sure they give their owners great pleasure and a fantastic view...

So what's with the name, Crane Street? It's pretty obvious, actually. There was a crane there for hundreds of years - from at least 1730, there to load and unload ships.

Favourite Front Gardens (4)

St Alfege's Guesthouse, 16, St Alfege's Passage SE10

I've been a bit of a grumpy old phantom of late so I thought I'd cheer myself up with a favourite front garden. This one's at St Alfege's Guesthouse, which still has to be the funkiest place to stay in Greenwich. One day I'll actually make it inside (so difficult to be a tourist in your own town...) but if the pics on the website and this garden are anything to go by, it must be cool indeed.

What I love about this place is that they 'officially' have no garden at all to speak of. The rest of the places in that particular bit of passage open out onto the street, but Number 16 has no intention whatsoever of being without greenery. A little area has been created using the natural street furniture - railings and the lamp post, a collection of giant pots and a tempting-looking bench.

Inside, there's not an inch of space between the plants - save for another, hidden little bench. Tropical - date palms and banana plants - and classic evergreens, they may be mixed in 'climate' but they do keep to a palette - just green - and very cool it is too. It's ever-so slightly jumbled and bohemian-looking with the odd weed tolerated rather than ripped out, which keeps it from looking prissy, and I enjoy it every time I walk past.

My heart gives a little leap whenever I'm staying somewhere in the world, am searching for my hotel and I see an entrance like this. It's a sign that I have made the right choice.

In this particular case I can't tell you whether you have made the 'right choice' if you have chosen to stay at St Alfege's - I have never stayed there myself. But all the signs are that it will be fab - and you can guarantee that if you choose one of the faceless multinational business-hotel alternatives, you will have made the wrong choice.

There is, of course, an opportunity to get a sneaky peek into the Guesthouse on, I believe, Monday, when it will be part of a fly-on-the-wall documentary The Hotel Inspectors. In the meanwhile, enjoy another example of an interesting and quirky Greenwich Front Garden...

Favourite Phantom Front Gardens (1)

Angerstein Lane, SE3

After yesterday's agonies, I thought I go totally fluffy on you today and share one of my favourite secret local corners. It may be cheesy, but sometime's CheddarVision's just not enough...

Angerstein Lane (no prizes for guessing the provenance of that name) is one of those places that no one who stumbles upon it can quite believe is in London. A straight passageway behind the posh bit of Vanbrugh Park that curves round the edge of Blackheath - linking St John's Park and Shooters Hill Road (ok, the A2, go ahead, smash my rustic fantasies) it is merely a dotted line on the map, but a delightful leafy retreat, complete with postbox set into ancient wall, lamp posts and overarching trees straight out of one of those postcards of 'Old Blackheath' you can buy in libraries. I would turn this picture into sepia except it's so bloomin' small already it would end up fuzzy...




Much of the back of it is garages and back entrances for the big houses on Vanbrugh Park, delightfully neglected in many cases, and there is a secret little path of modern houses (Langton Way) which is so embedded that you don't notice it until it's right upon you. But the rest of this path is totally empty - save for one tiny little roses-round-the-door cottage, Number 5, nestled in the only bit of clearing that the sun manages to break through. I can't work out what happened to Numbers 1,2,3 and 4 - there is no sign that there was ever any other habitation.

At first it looks like it might be part of the giant Victorian building towering among the foliage behind it, and maybe once it was an outhouse, but it is very much a little cottage now. A low, white-walled building, it is cute in itself, but what really makes it is one of the loveliest cottage gardens I have seen in a long while. 'Designed' in that wonderfully hap-hazard style of the classic country garden, it has been clothed in traditional flowers and plants by someone who clearly spends a lot of his time out there - and who cares passionately about the bit of land that he's reclaimed from the lane at the front of his house.

It's clear the guy's grown a lot of things from seed and cuttings, supplementing with bought specialities. The first time I walked past, he was out working and I spent some time chatting to him. A very friendly soul, he happily discussed planting ideas and pointed out his favourite bits (as gardeners usually do.)He is particularly proud of a peony he's just acquired at great expense.

Though I would suspect this is not a totally new garden, it's going to take a few years to fill out, but it's already one of The Phantom's Favourite Haunts. He's created a tiny hawthorn hedge around it, though of course it will take years to get above knee height, and I suspect that he will always be delighted for fellow enthusiasts to enjoy it. And in the tradition of the true cottage gardeners, he's generous too, leaving surplus plants at the gate with a note for anyone to take them.

I thoroughly recommend this little haven as a way to feel good about the world again after yesterday's misery. Forget Chelsea Flower Show. This is real.

Prior Street - and Allotments

Prior St, SE10

Continuing my look at Greenwich Streets I've turned out of Circus St into Prior St - a short, sweet little road which climbs gently up to meet Royal Hill before theoretically turning into Point Hill.

The houses in this pretty little street are mainly terraced and flat-fronted, with little canopies over the doors, which makes me think, in my untutored way, that they are Georgian rather than Victorian. Some single, some double-fronted, most also have basements. Some have loft conversions, but these look like historic rather than modern affairs. Every so often there are the occasional interesting-looking garage-like doors to what looks like back-entrances built into the terraces.

Once again I don't know anyone in this road - so if you live here or know someone who does, I'd welcome additions and comments about it. Is it a good road to live in? Are the natives friendly?

At the top are some of what must be the poshest allotments in Greenwich. When I was looking for an allotment myself, I came across the Prior St gardens and salivated. They are run by a separate group to the council, but (now) come under its protection. It wasn't always that way.

They're an odd shape because, apparently, they are the site of the old railway line that joined Nunhead to Greenwich which only lasted between 1871 and 1917. I assume it was derelict for a while before becoming briefly a lorry park and a garden centre.

Over the years the allotments have had threats to their existence - not least from when the council wanted to close the allotments to build 23 houses. A splendid campaign was fought and mostly won (the council just took enough land to build two houses in the end.) Huzzah for the people -it proves it can be done occasionally. The other plots are now protected under the Allotment Act, though I doubt I will ever land one of them.

Judging from the number of them (18) and the size of some of the gardens round here (tiny) I should have put my name down at birth for one here and I'd have probably still been waiting even then. The person at the top of the 100-strong waiting list went on in 1998, so that's only nine years so far. So some time to go yet...

Still when allotments are as beautifully kept and enjoyed as these clearly are, it's hard to be anything other than delighted by this place. It even has its own website - http://www.priorstgardens.org.uk/ with some pretty pictures and info about them.

The Paragon

When he designed Gloucester Circus, architect Michael Searles was really only warming up. Admittedly, units weren't exactly selling like Mrs Miggins's pies but that didn't really bother Searles - he'd already set his sights on another piece of land, the site of a massive house. It was part of the Wricklemarsh Estate - on the edge of Blackheath - and Searles was busy chatting up the guy who was buying it, one John Cator, whom I'll talk about another day. Another potential buyer who came to have a look round, apparently, was Clive of India but in the end, Cator nabbed it.

The Paragon (Searles was not one for subtlety when it came to titles) was to be a row of fourteen houses (seven pairs,) but instead of boring old terraces, he fancied joining them up with little Tuscan-colonnaded conceits (Coadestone, actually - I promise I will get onto Coadestone one day...) which housed the entrances, thus leaving the main buildings to enjoy gigantic arched windows for the best view - both looking in and out. To make it all look nice and neat, he put a lodge-house at either end.

Because he also took the financial risk, Searles had to make a bit more effort at selling The Paragon, so he made sure they were 'substantially-built.' He managed to flog the lot off by 1805 but it had taken him 13 years to finish them due to a few, ahem, financial embarrassments. Once they were nearly finished, though, people snapped up accommodation which not only could include large, modern interiors including Gentlemen's rooms, eight bedrooms, servants quarters and water closets, but were also only a cough and a spit from what is now the A2 but at the time would have afforded them a speedy trip to enjoy the splendours of London.

Searles must be a bit of a hero of the current developers at the Millennium Village. They do much the same today as he did two hundred years ago - sell an empty shell, which the purchasers model to their own wishes. Ok - he did it with bricks & mortar, they do with sliding metal walls, but the idea's much the same.

Although most of The Paragon's residents were city businessmen, it attracted all sorts of intriguing residents - from two Lord Mayors of London to another (far more interesting) couple. They were both women, but one dressed as a man. It's said that they came from Gloucester Circus and the 'lady' half of the pair informed everyone she was going to marry a Lord. She gadded about all over town buying lovely things for her trousseau - everything from trinkets and baubles to clothes and furniture and was the darling of all the merchants - for about ten minutes. After she ran up £ 20,000-worth of debts, the pair scarpered, never to be seen again.

There's one thing about the Victorians - they just couldn't resist dickering. Sundry dodgy 'embellishments' were added over the next hundred years or so, few of which, apparently, added much charm (of course the 1970s got their own back, adding 'improvements' of their own to Victorian buildings. What goes around comes around...) The Paragon started the 20th Century in a rather sad state as boarding houses.

A lot of the gaudy Victorian additions were quietly lost by Charles Bernard Brown when the Luftwaffe gave him the opportunity to restore The Paragon to its original beauty by bombing the poor place to buggery. Brown's is not a name people conjure readily today - but the guy deserves a medal for standing up for what could have just ended up as another demolition site back in the 1950s.

The houses today are divided up into flats and consistently go for staggering sums when they come up for sale. I've never seen the back of them, but I'll wager they no longer come with nine acres of land each, vegetable gardens, fishponds, dairies, coach houses and stabling. As long as I don't see them, though, I can at least dream that someone in Blackheath still keeps cows in their back garden. The private road outside, with its little white-painted fences and cute lamp posts plus the leafy-green that surrounds it, is, I believe, paid for in what cannot be insignificant service charges (or maybe they share the chores - "ok, whose turn is it to mow the lawn this week, then...?")

The Paragon is one of the truly sumptuous parts of Blackheath - and fitting tribute to a local architect whose work is dotted around the area, and still much-loved.

Circus Street, SE10

In another of my occasional focuses on Greenwich streets I thought I'd take a peek at an estate-agent-favourite West Greenwich byway today.

Circus Street links Royal Hill and Greenwich South Street in a gentle sweeping curve which doesn't quite meet Gloucester Circus at the Royal Hill end. It's clearly Georgian /early Victorian and has kept that old feel despite one or two more modern places along it. A few houses were obviously built together as pairs or rows; others have been built as little terraces but don't all look the same. It's a delightful mixture of very large, stucco-front houses with splendid front doors, wrought iron railings and imposing windows, and tiny little flat-front terraces opening directly onto the street with interesting features and jolly window boxes. There is what looks like a converted chapel about half-way down it. Judging from the amount of converted chapels in the area, Greenwich must have been some religious place. It would seem to be less so now.

Near the Royal Hill end, there is an interesting place with a discreet plaque which says "Zero" - but my (albeit imperfect) searches have bowled up nothing about it. Can anyone enlighten me?

At number 42 lives Circus Street Ltd. I had a spot of trouble wading through the jargon to find out what they actually do - it seems to be a sort of digital media consultancy - though whether this is PR, website design, some sort of data analysis or a mixture of all of them beats me. I guess that's what comes of not actually working in this field. They seem to have some big clients, judging from the list. The blog's fun - I enjoyed "Can brands control bloggers":

http://www.circusstreet.com/index.php?q=node/blog#42

Hmm - wonder what would happen if I typed in "The Greenwich Phantom Sucks," as recommended. Phew. Nothing. Yet...

On the corner of Brand St is The Pub With No Name. Sadly, it's lost its sign, and there's no name on the board above it, but luckily its real name is carved into the very stone of the building - thank heavens for the supreme Victorian confidence that presumed that this pub would always be called The Morden Arms, presumably named for Sir John Morden who founded Morden College in Blackheath in 1695. It's nice enough and has the occasional jazz night (it gets involved with the Riverfront Jazz Festival,) but it's not what I'd call a destination pub - more a local boozer for local drinkers (no food.)

Does anyone here live in Circus Street or know anyone who does? I'd love to know more about it.

Trafalgar Quarters and Park Row (S)

Park Row, SE10

I bet I'm not the only person who's walked past those lovely old railings opposite The Old Royal Naval College in Park Row on the way to Trafalgar Tavern and wondered about the rather elegant building set in neatly-clipped grounds beyond them.

A low-set, brick-built building with a colonnade of Doric pillars is set back about 15 metres from a row of pollarded limes, its windows a parade of Georgian arches. At the top of the second floor (there only seem to be two) is a very naval-looking frieze incorporating a coat of arms with sea creatures, tridents - you know the sort of thing. But those railings are far too high for even a phantom to scale unnoticed by the security guard opposite in the Naval College and those gates are always locked.

Such an elegantly simple building down such an elegantly simple street - fabulous old York Stone paving slabs, original iron street lamps and a view down to the Thames that includes the Trafalgar Tavern (not that it always looked this smart - the Trafalgar Tavern, until within living memory - not my own, I hasten to add, had a chequered history - from being a meeting place for the fashionable Victorian gent to being, in the 1930s a centre for the unemployed where, according to In the Meantime, a book by Julian Watson and Kit Gregory which I urge you to own if you don't already, unemployed men could get a meal, play football, learn skills and mend the family's shoes for 1d. Luxury. It then became a fire station for a bit - am I being facetious if I say that it wasn't in the most practical of locations for that, before becoming an apartment block - which, by the way, it was when C. Day Lewis, oops, sorry, Nicholas Blake, wrote The Worm of Death.)

But I digress once again. Sorry. I had wondered if The Trafalgar Quarters still belonged to the navy, its being so very tightly buttoned up and there seeming to be no action going on at all whenever I walked past. It was beautifully maintained by an army of invisible people.

Greenwich Hospital Trust is an organisation treated with suspicion by the Good Burghers of Greenwich. To us they are the big bad landowners who drive out small individual shopkeepers with massive rent hikes and want to turn our town centre into Bluewater to make more cash.

And I must say, it don't look good from where we're standing. Believe me, I'm first in the queue with the letters over the market. I seriously don't trust them further than I could throw them over the development of what we now have to call "The Island Site" (wonder when it will get a sponsor? Maybe we could call it the "T Mobile Island Site" so that another phone compnay could get in on the advertise-around-greenwich act.)

But there is a group of people who actually like these guys, and that is the Greenwich Pensioners. Yes, we still have them. But let me go back to the beginning - or at least the bit I've been able to winkle out. If anyone can add anything to the sketchy stuff I've found about this, please add away...

Trafalgar Quarters were begun in 1813 as offices and storeooms for the Royal Naval Hospital. That, of course, was when they knew how to build offices and storerooms - it's a mini work of art in itself. It was designed by the Hospital Surveyor John Yenn, who presumably didn't get much opportunity to make his mark on Greenwich and didn't care to be found wanting in the history of Greenwich next to such luminaries as Sir Christopher Wren and Inigo Jones. And I reckon the boy done good. It has a Regency restraint which contrasts well to its earlier neighbours, yet manages to say something of its own too.

The coat of arms I mentioned on the frieze is, of course, the Seamen's Hospital Arms - no wonder it looks familiar. It's Coade Stone, of which we have a fair amount in Greenwich. I'll talk about it another day though or this will lead to yet another digression.

Apparently there's a courtyard inside. perhaps it will be open on Open House Day one day - but in the meanwhile, if anyone's ever been in, do tell us about it (or even better, mail me photo...)

Apparently it became servants quarters after the Hospital closed, and because it was now for the Naval College, it was given a military name - Trafalgar "Quarters."

The history becomes a bit murky after that - at least to the amateur eyes of a vaguely-interested-phantom. Letters in the Nautical Almanac Office relate to the use of the building in 1937 - a correspondence with Royal Obsevatory which I guess might imply it was linked with the astronomers.

It became sheltered housing in 2001, owned by Greenwich Hospital Trust; administered, by the Church of England Soldiers and Sailors and Airmens Clubs.

It has 21 one-bedroom flats and appears to be specifically for ex mariners or widowed spouses. Sadly they can't bring their parrots as pets are not allowed. Maybe that's the real reason for the
parrot-ical invasion in Greenwich Park...

BTW - does anyone know anything about Trident Hall? All I can find is that they don't seem to be filing any legal documents...

Coleraine Rd, SE3

Thought it would be fun to start reviewing roads as well. I missed my profession - should have got a job with A-Z...

Of course, Coleraine Road isn't really technically in Greenwich at all, having an SE3 postcode. Leafy Westcombe Park sits between the two towns, but since it's 'our' side of the heath, I've always considered it to be 'one of our own.'

Running up the hill towards the heath, it more or less runs North to South-West and is one of the gentler slopes in the area. Most of the buildings are very late-Victorian and rather large - three and even four stories. They are quite grand, on the whole, some with gothic-style details like arched windows and fancy coving. Not much chance of nosying through to the back gardens, as the people who live here are, on the whole, the private sort iwth high side fences and things "in the way..." Even many of the front gardens tend to be hidden behind thick, high privet hedges. I can only hope that the gardens are long enough to ensure that the homes behind them aren't like the Black Hole of Calcutta. The houses with even numbers would get the best view across London.

They often have lots of original features - at least on the outside - classic front doors and those wonderful encaustic-tiled paths - one or two coloured, more small black and white diamonds. Some aren't in great condition - something the owners should do something about quick - have they seen the price of encaustic tiled paths - but several are in great condition (they might also have lovely encaustic tiled halls - but since I don't know anyone in any of them I don't know.) My absolute favourite is the one still shared (no nasty walls) between numbers 45/47 - a fabulous complete path of black and white diamonds, simple iron bars dividing the boundaries, not the path itself. Utterly stunning. Next door, 49/51 isn't quite so good - but still quite an eyeful. Towards to the top of the road some lovely cast (or wrought - difficult to tell) iron verandas adorn the top few houses giving them a charming, villa-esque appeal.

Not all the houses are Victorian. There are some nice Edwardian examples - and I'll put money on No 121 being an Arts& Crafts original - probably incredible inside if it's not been altered too much. The early 20th Century houses filling in the gaps have also mellowed pretty well.

My favourite house is the glorious, double-fronted "Lydney" which, with its garage (a rarity) and adjoining extension/granny flat, "Lydneyette," must also command quite a view from the back.

The whole of Greenwich is blighted with hideous modern flats - mainly because of spot-bombing during WWII, which took out individual properties rather than flattening the entire area. Coleraine Road has not escaped (the cu-de-sac Webb Rd is pretty unexciting too) but there are enough of the original houses to still keep some continuity. The flats are not attractive - late 60s, early 70s I'd say, but that was how they did things then. What I find harder to forgive is the large house nearer the top of the hill which has lost its entire garden in the past couple of years as some ghastly developer has crammed as many "luxury" flats into a Gated Horror behind it. It is utterly appalling and shouldn't have been allowed.

Coleraine Road currently enjoys free street parking. How long that will last will presumably depend on what happens as the parking spaces at the Dome dwindle.

Does anyone live in or know anyone who lives in Coleraine Road? Do add some gossip here about what it's like...

Dead Shops

Can't you just see YOUR lovely shop here?


Just for an albeit sick kind of laugh yesterday, I decided to count the dead shops along Trafalgar and Woolwich Roads. It was a depressing experience. It wasn't an easy job. Some shops are so dead that it's easy to miss them totally, blanking them out in your mind. Some are actually just about still alive but are so tatty I almost took them for empty. Some I couldn't tell where one shop ended and another began. For the record I counted along what can be at most a third of a mile, 33 empty premises. THIRTY THREE. Now albeit I'm counting a couple of gigantic ex-offices which are total eyesores and the Caffrey's joint but really - that's terrible.

It wasn't always so grim. The place must have buzzed once - only a few days ago I met a guy on Romford Market selling dress fabrics who said his old shop had been on Trafalgar Road. He said that the rents, the traffic and the lack of footfall drove him out.

There's such opportunity here. With all the new builds coming - at the horridly-named "Selection" (how much precious and expensive time did it take the marketing company to find the letters "SE10" in a word, I wonder) and its rather bizarre unnamed opposite number (am I the only person that thinks it looks like a bunch of portacabins stacked on top of each other?) not to mention whatever goes into the Old Hospital site, there are going to be loads of new people moving in - all of whom will need to buy stuff.

There's one shop in particular I've had my eye on for some time. My next door neighbour and I fantasise about setting up a really good quality cafe and cake shop a la Buenos Aires in the old Wavy Line store (see above) It's a fab little shop - with a side entrace for vans/ horses and carts. I have no idea what it's like inside as it's got filthy windows and net curtains and it seems to have been shut for ever, but it must be similar to the others which are a fair size. It was recently painted (probably part of the little push to brighten things up a bit round East Greenwich)and it wouldn't take much, I'm sure, to make it really exciting.

It's also got those lovely coloured ceramic tiles either side of it, nearly intact and little cast iron 'parapets' above the side entrance. There are several shops down this road with fabulous little quirks and flights of fancy, often in a dreadful state of repair or even painted over in vibrant colours (see the little obelisk-ball things over the newsagents next door to The Old Friends, a pub I won't discuss just now) for a particularly vomit-inducing yellow colour.) I've never understood why shopkeepers don't cherish these little bits of decorative history the way that homeowners have started to. I can only hope the trend back towards keeping original detail within homes will start to permeate the retail emporia of historic towns...

Together my neighbour and I dream of having lovely mis-matched furniture - squashy old sofas and wooden tables and chairs, proper crockery and good quality coffee (Union Roasters, natch...) The cakes would be under big glass domes and very much of the homemade variety - you know the sort of thing. My own favourite addition would be a secure buggy park in the back bit where the vans used to go so that there would be lots of room for pushchairs. There are plenty of schools and nurseries around - I'm sure there would be the clientele - and the rents must be dirt cheap for shops shut for so long, but I really can't do it.

Anyone who actually knows me will tell you that I haven't the temperament - I have patience neither with regular hours nor the General Public. I would be the original Grumpy Old Phantom - and would be forced to do a Very Bad Review Indeed of myself.

So my idea's up for grabs, guys. Someone must find the challenge attractive? I'll be a regular customer, and so will my next door neighbour, for starters...

If you don't like that shop there are 32 others to choose from - some in appalling condition; others recently refurbished. I got all excited recently when a shop a few doors up from my dream shop was totally gutted and refurbished - only to find that it had merely been done to give the flat upstairs a separate entrance so it could be let out on its own. The brnad new shop has whitewashed windows and an extremely dead feel to it. Depressing stuff indeed.

In case you don't fancy a coffee shop, here's my East Greenwich Wish List:


What we need:

A greengrocers (though for now the little market stall by Rick's Place is an excellent substitute)
A GOOD bakers (sorry - I just don't count Greggs)
A butchers
A bank
A GOOD QUALITY cafe down Woolwich Rd end
A stationers
A cheesemongers (well, a phantom can dream...)
A lovely sweetie shop (still dreaming)
A fabric emporium (dreaming on)
Anything interesting and quirky
A small Woolworths (sorry - a particularly peculiar personal perversion of mine - we all have our faults, please bear with me, I'm getting therapy)

Oh, and a truly GOOD restaurant.

What we DON'T need

Estate agents
Bookies' joints
Sandwich bars
Dodgy fried chicken shops
Estate Agents
Pizza delivery places
Takeaways - of ANY variety
Tool hire shops
Dodgy electrical appliance shops
Estate Agents
Funeral parlours
Hairdressers - have you SEEN how many hairdressers there are down these two roads? There might even be more hairdressers than estate agents, though at least the hairdressers do a useful job)
Amusement arcades
Tatty pound shops
Strip clubs
Did I mention Estate Agents?
Travel Agents
Recruitment Agents
Insurance agents
Any other kind of agents ESPECIALLY Estate Agents



Perhaps congestion charging will encourage more people to walk along these currently scruffy rat-runs for out-of-town traffic. They could be a valuable local resource. They're currently a depressing experience, but who knows what the future could bring.

Gloucester Circus

I notice that the two houses that have been being restored on the posh side of Goucester Circus are up for sale for £ 2.5m each. I am sure that someone will tell me that that's cheap for London but it's still probably the steepest these babies have been up for, so I thought that today was as good as any to take a look at the joys of Gloucester Circus.

It's an odd place - clearly intended to mirror the great circuses of Bath and central London, but you have to be careful which angle you view it from - only just over half of it is 18th Century - the rest is dodgy 1950s flats. I have always pondered to myself which side I would prefer - to live in the flats and have the view or to have the gorgeous houses and look at the flats. In reality of course there's no contest, especially in summer - the oval central green, surrounded by railings, is full of lovely old mature trees which effectively mask each side.

It's easy to assume that half of the circus was the victim of the wartime bombs that devastated great swathes of Greenwich, but the truth is rather more prosaic.

Gloucester Circus was designed by local architect Michael Searles (who later went on to create The Paragon in Blackheath) and built between 1791 and 1809. Searles, who started out as a surveyor, had grand ideas - not for him the boring old circles of most circuses being built at the time - he fancied for his Greenwich version something new - an oval. It was going to be two sweeping crescents with pediments at each end - one opening onto the Park and Crooms Hill; the other onto Royal Hill.

Trouble is, Greenwich wasn't really posh enough at the time to take a feature such as this - there just weren't enough moneyed people who wanted to live in what was, frankly, a bit of a grotty area. Odd pockets of grandeur existed - such as Wren's Hospital and individual houses - and even the Spread Eagle had made a bit of an effort to spruce itself up - but South East London was, to most, just an industrialish, dock-ish sort of town. (Actually, some people I meet from other areas still regard it as a bit of a backwater. I don't make much effort to dissuade them from this - we don't want any old hoi-poloy coming here, do we...)

There wasn't enough initial takeup on Gloucester Circus, which was, after all, a speculative build needing the cash from the first sales to fund the rest, and only one complete side was built - and even that took nearly twenty years to do. The pediments were finished - albeit a bit wimpishly - and a couple of extra houses built on the west side, but eventually the builders just gave up. I bet there are a few developers who'd jump at the opportunity to turf out the poor residents of the 1950s(?) flats and finish the job now, though.

Somehow poor old Gloucester Circus didn't last very long as lovely homes for the upper middle classes. By the early 20th Century they'd fallen into disrepair and eked out a living as tenements for dockers and other working class people. It was only comparitively recently that they have come up in the world to what James Johnston is (perhaps optimistically) calling "probably the best address in Greenwich."

Which brings us to the present. If you want one of these houses now, it will set you back £ 2.5m - but don't forget - it will be useless if you want more than 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 3 ensuites. I couldn't find out how big the gardens are at the back - do tell if you know. The one person I have ever met from the Circus tells me that the private gardens in the centre are today a bit of a nightmare to upkeep - they are jointly responsible for the now rather large trees. I doubt I'd complain...

It's a popular haunt for film crews - like much of Greenwich - but sadly it rarely stands in for itself - it's usually meant to be somewhere else. We need more films set in Greenwich.