German Moore

Following on from yesterday's post about the Henry Moore missing from Greenwich Park, apparently in the 'care' of the HM Foundation, Elaine sent me this pic of another Moore in pride of place on the lawn beside the Art gallery in Bielefeld in Germany. Peeping through is Madeleine, age 6. Her four year old brother Eric's playing with her in the next pic.

As Elaine points out, "they obviously have a more relaxed attitude towards their art in Bielefeld." Perhaps they have a more cultured class of thief. I suspect it's more likely that scrap metal prices aren't so high.

Of course it may just be that the Henry Moore Foundation haven't managed to get their sweaty paws on the Bielefeld sculpture yet. Or that the good burghers of Bielefeld didn't just roll over at the first signs there might be an issue with security.

But it is time to get the Greenwich one back. Seems like there's a bit of a head of steam building over this - I heard the Friends of Greenwich Park on the Today Programme yesterday demanding it back. Personally, I think if we don't get it back by 2012, we won't get it back at all.

Moore No More

Gregor asks the not-unreasonable question:

"Now that there's a Henry Moore retrospective on at the Tate, Greenwich's own empty plinth feels a little emptier. Does anyone have any idea whether the Henry Moore foundation will ever return the statue to the park?"

The Phantom replies:

You know - even the mighty Today Programme had a feature on this this morning, Gregor. It would seem that the Henry Moore Foundation has got such a bee in its bonnet about it that it's taken it away 'for safekeeping' i.e. so no one ever gets to see it again.

Apparently the insurance cost became prohibitive - but I don't really get why - I mean the park is locked at night, the thing must weigh a ton - who's going to steal it? Besides - how can you insure something like that? It's not like it could be replaced.

I don't know when it's coming back, but it's the place Moore himself chose for the sculpture - and the plinth looks pretty damn silly without it.



Maybe we should be using the Olympic Panacea to get it back.

Allotments - Again

This has to be one of my most frequently-asked of all frequently-asked questions (along with cleaners and wedding venues...) "How can I get my green fingers on an allotment?"

To look at last week's Greenwich Time's double spread, you'd think all you'd have to do is call up the nice people at the council and arrange for a viewing so you could take your pick from the array of available plots.

Quite why they spend two pages telling you of the joys of allotmenteering when there aren't any patches of soil available in the entire borough is a mystery to me. It only makes the council look bad for having sold them all off and insensitive for rubbing our noses in it.

The Council website reiterates a sorry tale for anyone living in Greenwich town centre. Not only are the very few sites totally full, but the waiting lists are so long they've been closed. And don't even think about the Prior Street Allotments on the old railway line - privately managed and with the Waiting List of Doom.

Sadly Phantoms don't get any favours - I'm hanging about, spectral spade in phantom paw with the rest of you.

There are one or two sites where you can go on the waiting list - but they're way out in the further reaches of the borough - and at some point you have to ask yourself how far you're prepared to (wait) to travel for a few spuds.

If you look at an old map from the turn of the last century, much of East Greenwich and the Peninsula were given over to allotment gardens, now lost to Progress.

I have wondered to myself if the council have no intention of doing anything with the old hospital site for a year or so, whether they could do some kind of short-let thing. The ground's piss-poor but keen gardeners have a way - besides surely the council has access to a load of compost from our organic bins...

No, I'm not holding my breath either.

There are plot share schemes. I have my reservations about them, personally, but if you're desperate, it's worth a try. The most local one I know of is Transition Westcombe's Patch Match programme - and you will probably meet some interesting folk along the way.

In the meanwhile, if you're up the Deptford end of Greenwich, and you have a few hours on your hands, you might be interested in a different thing entirely.

Jonathan is a teacher at the Nursery at Grinling Gibbons Primary in Deptford. For the last two years they've run a rather splendid growing/allotment project in the spring/summer where the children have planted, grown and eaten a variety of vegetables between April and July. But he has a problem.

"The person who assisted us, a gardener, has gone AWOL and I could really use the assistance of someone with some experience of growing veggies etc. who wouldn't mind spending an hour or two a week working with myself and some great 3-5 year olds," he tells me.

"The upside is the chance to grow and eat your own produce or just to help out on a valuable project educating young children that a) all food doesn't come from the supermarket and b) cooking and eating your own veg is great!"

He doesn't tell me a downside, but I can guess. You'll probably need to be police-cleared to the Nth degree. But if you enjoy getting soil under your nails, find the company of little children pleasurable and are keen to eat tasty school-grown veg, maybe the CRB check wouldn't be so arduous after all...

Happy Waiting Lists, folks.

Observatory Garden Clearout

Katrien noticed that the Observatory Gardens were closed on Wednesday. She says:

"On Wednesday (9 December), the observatory garden was closed. We saw several shrubs had been removed (see picture) and I think they are making new paths. Do you have any idea what is going on there? I hope no other trees or plants will be removed. It was such a nice place. "

It does look rather drastic, I must admit. I was walking through the park yesterday afternoon and saw a lot of general work going on, so it's possible that it's just remedial tree-prunery etc, and I take hope that the 'path' in the picture looks like boards lain down to protect the grass. I rather hope they're not planning to 'open up' the Observatory Gardens - at the moment they're a bit of a secret for the people of Greenwich. In fact even some residents don't know about them. To add too many paths and cut away too many plans would be rather sad...

Rear Window Special

It's been some time since we had a Rear Window - the occasional series where we get a glimpse of Greenwich the way other people do, but then I guess this one has been a long time coming.

When Rod, our honorary Phantom Brewmaster, sent me the pic above, which he took from his central Greenwich window, I was cheeky enough to ask him to continue taking pics showing us Greenwich through the seasons of one year - 2009 - and hey - that's exactly what he's done...


He gets a fantastic view of the river. I can't remember whether this was Ark Royal or Illustrious but it was mid-late spring, if memory serves, by which point everything was bright green and lush after the February snow.

By the time summer arrived everything was green and bushy - this year, perhaps because of the (very) wet winter, then the cold snap, we got wonderful spring blossom, fast growth and incredible fruit everywhere.

He sent me the above picture of the wonderfully mellow autumn (bet you've forgotten it already...) just before the horrid rainy-stormy-hurricaney bit we've just had (BTW - did anyone take me up on gathering chestnuts in the park?)

We seem to be out the other side of those ghastly storms now, in favour of the last of the Four Seasons of Rod - a bitter winter chill - cold, but let's face it, sort of right for Christmas.

The bare trees and bright mornings, the low sun and the foggy starts (Rod - it's just occurred to me - I bet you get a good view of the Christmas lights - any chance of one more pic, of Greenwich Christmas by night?)


So - what, given the interesting climate-changey weather we're getting these days, does 2010 hold?

Who knows - but we'll always have Greenwich. And for today, Everybody Comes To Rod's...

PS - I'm always interested in poking my spectral nose through the curtains of windows in Greenwich. It doesn't have to be a fabulous view like Rod's - I'm interested in building a picture of what we ordinary Greenwichians see on a day-to-day basis, even if it's only rooftops and bins...

Blue-Skies Apples And Pears

Blimey I seem to be posting a lot today - Proper Work is getting a very sad time of it just now, but this is an urgent one that needs attention.

Transition Westcombe - a jolly group I still don't quite 'get' but who do fun community stuff and seem to be an all round Good Thing, have been approached by a body who are trying to create orchards in London and who have the wherewithal to apply for funding for one in Westcombe Park.

Transition Westcombe are urgently looking for suggestions for where a community orchard could be situated - you don't need to worry about who owns the land or any icky stuff like that just now - it can all be sorted out later, apparently. They just want suggestions for good sites for fruit trees - large or small (you can put an orchard in a very small space, they tell me) so that they can make an application.

Off the top of my head, I'm thinking the bit of spare green land along by the railway at Westcombe Park station (good luck with Southeastern - but then they do need all the good publicity they can get just now...) the little corner of land at the bottom of Beaconsfield Road, possibly the funny little bit of green at the bottom of Woodlands in Mycenae Road (though I'd be less keen on that one - I like it being actual woodland) - or - how about this - the newly vacated site of the Old Friends?(not officially WP, I know but let's face it - Woolwich Road needs it more...)

This is a really urgent thing - they need to put the suggestions in in the next couple of days. So - if you've got great ideas, email them to transitionwestcombe@googlemail.com
with the subject line 'Orchard sites'. Then tell me, here, 'cause I'm one nosy Phantom...

Pleasaunt Moments - And An Odd Proposal

Back on Saturday I was worrying whether or not the Friends of East Greenwich Pleasuance would be holding their annual carol shindig this year after the indifferent weather of past occasions.

I'm delighted to say they ARE doing the whole festive thing - and it looks bigger than ever, with performances from the Halstow Community Choir (of which I've never heard before...) leading a singalong and the splendid Los Dawsons (I was hoping to nick a nice piece of footage from MySpace to show those of you who aren't converted yet but the account's suspended - you'll just have to live with pics of them at their blog ) playing festive bluesy stuff.

There will be the usual mulled wine and mince pies, and Father Christmas arrives at 2.15pm.

I'm sure much of the afternoon's conversation will revolve around a rather odd proposal which is being put forward as part of the Olympic Legacy funding - installing an 'outdoor gym' in the Pleasaunce - at the cost of fifty grand.

The Friends are a bit surprised at this generous but unsought proposal (they hadn't heard anything about it) and they're soliciting for reactions, wondering whether money like this couldn't be spent a bit more usefully elsewhere (though they accept that the cash will have to go on something sport/fitness related) like upgrading the Bothy/One O'Clock Club or play equipment (though of course they are very kiddie-oriented places and not going to get wobbly adult Phantoms into shape...)

I confess I'm a bit nonplussed about it - in some ways it's good - having money spent on a park seems like a good thing - but in other ways I worry - only a few weeks ago there was concern that putting a temporary farmers market there might somehow be 'disrespectful' - this would mean removing more green grass for hard standing to take specially tough gym equipment - which I have to say isn't wildly attractive .

I don't really buy the argument that people would be embarrassed to use such kit in public - people who are that shy probably wouldn't make it to a regular gym anyway, and nor do I think that it would "attract noisy kids into the park at night after the gates are shut" - surely the answer there is in the statement - the gates are shut - I can't see yobbos making all that effort to get in just to play on the fitness equipment.

I'm not going to march to the barricades over this - I'm not sure I care too much but I do think it needs a bit of talking about, and the worry about using up yet more green space for general 'stuff' is, IMHO, valid.

What do you think the cash should be spent on (given it has to go for sporty things)?

Don't Deck The Halls

Okay - so what the hell's going on here then? This used to be a quiet little corner of native hedgerow - hawthorn, holly, elder etc. between the craziness of the A106 roundabout and the choc-a-blockness of the Sainsbury's petrol station.

I'm guessing someone went to the trouble (and expense) of planting it at some point, since I doubt there was much left over after various developers had had their two-penn'orth. Someone who had clearly deliberately chosen the shrubs for their indigenousity (is that a word? If it isn't it should be...) - presumably to encourage wildlife and gladden the hearts of the approaching shopper.

Whenever I walked by it seemed to have worked - it was full of squabbling birdies (and yeah, okay, a few crisp bags) and was a nice little bit of eco-greenery in such polluted mayhem.

I don't recall this being in any way in the sightlines of anyone - car, van or pedestrian - it was behind a wooden fence and well off the road. But when I walked by yesterday morning, I saw these guys - hacking off the mature shrubs with about as much skill as Jack Ketch. Even if they don't get some kind of horrid disease, I doubt these hedges will be troubling the minds of plant-haters for some time.

Still - it's not all bad - at least I get to enjoy the broken stumps - and to look at the glory that is the queues at the petrol station. I mean - who'd want to look at greenery when they can enjoy Sainsbury's?

Greenwich Wildlife (7)

"You lookin' at my bird?"

Remember Dazza's baby Kestrel? Well, he's back - and this time it's serious.


Our fluffy little teenager's got past his acne and being-rubbish-with-girls phase and has now taken to being a classic Alpha Male of South East London.


Dazza says "two days last week he turned up to eat his dinner at about 6pm in our little back garden. He was totally unfazed by the flashing of cameras and even seemed to pose with his latest catch" (see unidentified furry object under left claw...)


Can you imagine what Animal Magic would be like these days if dear old Johnny Morris was still going? What do you think this guy would be saying? Answers on a postcard...

Going Nutting

It sounds rather like a central-Greenwich-of-a-Saturday-night pursuit, doesn't it. But I was walking through the park yesterday and realised that this year we seem to have the best crop of chestnuts I've ever known. I couldn't help myself - I just stopped for ten minutes - easily enough time to pick up really juicy fat nuts to roast for supper.

The trees are about half way through their fruiting - some are already finished, some aren't quite there yet, but even very young trees have a bumper crop. Notwithstanding the armies of squirrels (have you ever seen so many squirrels as this year?) parrots (watch out for them, they bombard you with half-eaten nuts as you're gathering) and Chinese grannies with giant carrier bags full, there's plenty for all. If I'd stayed longer, I could have got far more, but I just wanted enough for a taster.

If you're going to be serious about it, thick gloves are useful, though I perfected a little manoeuvre using my boots to pry open the prickly cases and pop out the kernels, which probably made me look very strange indeed. Bring a carrier bag - they fall out of pockets. There were so many that I left all the weedy ones and just picked out the whoppers.

The best gathering spot at the moment seems to be the little path that leads to the gate near Macartney House, though, as I previously warned, there's a huge flock of very noisy, rather violent parakeets in them thar trees...

Since I don't have an open fire on which to roast them, I just cut crosses in the top (so they don't explode, a very messy experience, I understand) and put them in a roasting pan in quite a hot oven for about 15-20 minutes. Then I enjoyed a happy half-hour in front of the telly, burning my fingers peeling them and scoffing the lot.

Thanks to Dave for the picture, by the way. And to all of you who suggested the Sale of Goods Act letter to send about my broken Fuji camera so I can start taking my own snaps again. It is covered but - and it's a big 'but' - because it's more than a certain time since I bought it, the onus is on me to prove that it's a manufacturing fault and not just general wear and tear. This would involve getting a report done - which, if it did decide it was wear and tear, I'd be liable for.

The report would cost not-much-less than a new camera (we're not talking top of the range here...) so I think I just have to lump it. You know - it's not even the money - which is annoying enough - it's more the whole built-in obsolescence culture we live in. This should be a repairable item - and it is - for exactly three pounds less than I paid for the camera in the first place. Bah!

Sorry - don't really know where that came from. This started out as a cheery post. And hell - it's going to be a cheery post.

Happy nutting folks.

A Pair Of Lost Nutters

Following up the post about the squirrel burying nuts he'd never find again, I just had to share with you a couple of pics Dave sent me of a frantic fellow in Greenwich Park searching for last year's batch...

Reminds me of myself just now - I know I have photos of all kinds of stuff in the computer somewhere, I just have no idea where My Pictures has put 'em.

Sadly this poor chap - like me - is still looking.

St Alfege's Recreation Ground

The former graveyard at St Alfeges (not the churchyard, which I'll come onto another day) is an odd little park. I like to visit it every so often - in fact it always used to be my resort of choice after having purchased a Beehive Coffee, since one person in shop at a time constituted a crowd. By the time I'd walked round to the little graveyard and perched myself on a bench, the coffee was just at a good temperature to drink. Ah, that all seems so long ago...

As I was walking through it just before my sodding camera broke (not that I'm bitter or anything...) it struck me for the first time that Autumn really is on its way. This little chap (sitting on a memorial) was burying some nuts he'll never find again, and there was a distinct crunching sensation underfoot.

I don't know much about when this was turned from being a graveyard to a park, though I'm guessing just after the war, from the disused tea hut and the loos (which, btw, were open when I was there - and clean -hooray!)

Most of the headstones have been hoofed up and now line the walls, and those memorials that survive have a melancholy 'Nunhead' feel about them. Some are completely covered in ivy, others have lost their outer, stony clothes and stand there brazenly in their brick-pillared knickers. Virtually none are legible any more.

Which all got me to wondering. Has anyone ever done a round-up of the memorials at St Alfege's - some in the churchyard are still readable and utterly fascinating.

Maybe if not, here's an idea. Phantomites could adopt-a-grave. Just take a pic,write down the exact words written on the stone and let us know where we can find it...

It would make a great, if slightly macabre new series, don't you think?

Sorry - thinking aloud again. But I bet there's some stories to be had in that graveyard.

I leave you with a root that took a fancy to a baby gravestone, but was rudely cut off in its prime...

In Memoriam

Tom and his partner Sarah ask:

"Sarah and I would like to plant a tree, or maybe several,to mark the passing of Sarah's grandmother over the summer.

Wondered if you (or your readers) know of anywhere in Greenwich (where we also live) where this might be possible?"

The Phantom replies:

The most obvious is the Royal Park. They have several sponsorship schemes from just generally supporting all the trees to dedicating a personal or family tree. Greenwich Industrial History Society have just done just that recently, I see.

Sadly, it would seem you can't put a plaque under 'your' tree at the moment. My suggestion for Greenwich Park would be the newly-cleared Dwarf Orchard, which I believe will be planted up with heritage fruit trees - if you could dedicate one of those it would be really rather special.

Of course there are the local parks - if Sarah's grandmother had a favourite local park, it might be worth contacting Greenwich Council parks department. I can't see that they have a formal scheme, but sometimes I find it hard to navigate around the council website so it's entirely possible I've missed it.

Oxleas Wood would also come under Greenwich Council, I believe; I don't know if they have any planting schemes - maybe something around Sevendroog Castle, when the restoration comes to fruition (hopefuly soon...)

I've been trying to find out who looks after the Thames Path. It seems to be the National Trails Office. They happily accept donations, but I can't see any tree sponsorship schemes.

I did look at the Mayor's Street Tree programme but I don't think it's for you - it appears to be somewhere where you nominate places you'd like to see a tree.

Trees For Cities have a tree dedication scheme, but the nearest project I can find to us seems to be Peckham/ Nunhead.

It's possible local schools or museums have projects, but they're keeping quiet about them. Maybe someone here knows a local scheme?

Further afield, the Woodland Trust are creating a Victory Wood in Hampshire - the Greenwich link is that Nelson's body rested there on its way to London.

You'd have thought it would be easy to dedicate a tree - after all there always seem to be benches and tree-plaques wherever you go these days. It seems that the practicalities are a bit harder.

I'm pretty sure, though, that if you saw a beautiful public place you'd like to plant a tree, it would be well worth an ask...

First Catch Your Whitebait

I was watching an article on Ch4 News last night about the virtual extinction of blue fin tuna in Europe thanks to overfishing, and my thoughts turned to our own local un-eco-friendly fish.

Whitebait is one of the - indeed, probably the only truly Greenwich dish. It isn't the main reason people come to visit anymore, but it's still on the menu at places like the Trafalgar.

Personally those little whole fish staring up at me through their thin coating of floury glaze give me the creeps in the way larger fish just don't and I can't bring myself to eat them, but, like olives, marzipan and oysters, if you like 'em, you love 'em; if you don't, you hate them - there's no halfway house.

You eat it all - head, fins, tail, guts, the lot. Speed was - and I guess still is - of the essence. Mr and Mrs S.C. Hall, who wrote The Book of the Thames in 1859, were quite clear on the subject:

"unless cooked within a very brief space after removal from the water, it undergoes a change which the 'nice' palate can at once detect."

Since they are no longer caught right outside our doorsteps, I'm guessing we've just got used to the 'change...' these days.

To keep the fish fresh, large numbers were kept in big buckets of water, hoicked out with a skimmer then rolled alive in flour before being chucked into a cauldron full of bubbling lard for a maximum of two minutes. A squeeze of lemon, a pinch of cayenne pepper, a little bread and butter and, bish-bosh, your very own Sarf London feast.

Back in the day, when the Ship Hotel (which stood roughly where the Cutty Sark ship does today - I'll come onto that place in detail some other day) vied with the Trafalgar Tavern for the whitebait supper trade.

Both were equally popular, but at least once a year, they became fiercely political when the current Cabinet would all decamp to Greenwich for a pre-session jolly. Depending on the year, one or other establishment would enjoy their patronage - the Ship got the Torys, the Trafalgar the Whigs/Liberals. The rest of the year the place attracted artists and writers scoffing bowls of whitebait washed down with copious amounts of Champagne or a particularly potent punch - I don't think I've read a guidebook that hasn't mentioned Charles Dickens's famous quote:

"There is no next morning hangover like that which follows a Greenwich dinner."

I know the feeling and I don't even eat the little buggers.

Of course back then, whitebait was thought to be an entirely separate species of fish. Here's one:



There was much debate as to why it was only available 'in season' - between July and the end of August (we're just out of the traditional season now, of course, though I suspect that the Trafalgar serves it all year round these days) but it was generally thought that they lived further out in the estuary.

It was relatively recently that scientists proved the ridiculous idea sniffed at in The Book of the Thames - that it's actually just the fry of various fish - mainly herring here in Britain.

In one of those I-don't-want-to-think-about-it-too-much moments, it was also believed that whitebait was a fish that thrived upon the pollution that the Thames could uniquely provide. The Halls tell us many believe:

"...when the Thames is cleansed and purified, the whitebait will vanish altogether from the river."

There was quite an industry fishing for the stuff in season.

"The mouth of the net is by no means large, measuring only about three feet square in extent; but the mesh of the hose or bag-end of the net is very small."

And there's the rub. In Victorian times, the Thames was positively boiling with young fish during the season. Today, I doubt there's anywhere in the world that truly bubbles with young fish. Fishermen are being forced to use smaller and smaller gauge nets just to get any kind of catch, fishing for younger and younger fish. And whitebait is the youngest of all.

We have a problem here. Fish is great - it's healthy and tasty - but we're just eating too much of the most unsustainable varieties. Too bad for Greenwich that our only 'national' dish consists of the young of an albeit still quite sustainable fish. Trouble is, if we eat all the young, there's nothing left to breed.

It's a poser. I looked on the Marine Conservation Society's website for guidance - they don't conclusively say 'you must stop eating it now,' instead opting for

"Taking juveniles before they have a chance to spawn undermines future sustainability"

Which I'm reading as "one to watch..."

I looked on their very useful graph of when it's safe to buy various sorts of fish and which ones you should avoid at all costs. It doesn't specifically mention whitebait, but herring seems pretty okay - at the moment.

The MCS also do a free card to carry in your wallet to say when fish are sustainably caught - to get one, call 01989 566017.

Not Mulch Going On

Charlotte is gearing up to get gardening next year - and sensibly is preparing the soil now. She asks:

"I'm in the process of doing my garden from scratch (it's currently an overgrown mess). A friend who knows about these things tells me that you get better value and quality if you steer clear of B&Q etc.

So wondered if anyone had any recommendations regarding getting hold of topsoil/organic matter in the area. And also good plant nurseries - presuming there must be a few not too far away what with Kent being the garden of England and all that. Ideally places that would deliver as I don't have a car..."

The Phantom is a bit depressed at the choice of gardening-y type stuff round here. In my fantasy world, that huge derelict site in Charlton behind ASDA (the one with the big walls around it and the fancy entrance) would be turned into a fabulous walk-round herbery with funky garden centre attached - a sort of park and store combined. In real life we've got - well - B&Q.

I agree - B&Q is just a big old shed that sells small things in plastic packets-of-three-when-you-only-need-one at expensive prices. Its only plus is convenience, but most DIY things can be sourced elsewhere - Ken was reminding me about the joys of Screwfix the other day, and I favour Standard DIY at Blackheath Royal Standard - but neither of them do plants in any great number or quality.

Soil first. The one place that we SHOULD be able to get good compost from is Greenwich Council - after all, the stuff they make is the contents of our organic recycling bins. But I understand they only sell it to commercial buyers. To be honest, I really don't know anywhere in Greenwich other than B&Q - though some builders merchants may do it, if you don't mind a couple of hundredweight turning up on your doorstep.

Might be worth asking at Mudchute Farm if they sell manure, but I suspect the problem might be with delivery.

If you have to go for a 'shed' I'd recommend Homebase at Kidbrooke rather than B&Q - there's a better selection of plants and a much better selection of pots, but the choice is poor if you're trying to avoid peat. Actually, everywhere round here is poor if you're trying to get peat-free (I loathe the stuff but feel guilty about not using it).

Plants - The only place I can think of in the centre of Greenwich is the lovely, lovely florist at the bottom of Royal Hill - but beautiful though their plants are, you'll be bankrupted if you try to fill a garden with them. Ditto Hortus in Blackheath and the funky stalls just inside the market.

Phoebe's in between Eltham and Lewisham appears to have closed, and Ruxley Manor, though humongous, is inaccessible without a car - and a good map.

Which really leaves you with mail order. I haven't had a flawless experience with Crocus - indeed, I boycotted them for an entire year after having a very poor experience with their customer services department, but they do do good quality plants (on the whole...) and their gift plants are always very good, so I'm grudgingly back with them.

I wish I could be of more help - and I'll be watching the replies today with an especially beady eye - I could do with some new horticultural places to visit...

Greenwich Park's Lost Steps (1) Giant

Recently, when I read about the departure of Derek Spurr from Royal Parks, to pursue a career with the Olympics (ahem) I saw that one of his 'regrets' was that he had never been able to what I took as 'reinstate' the Giant Steps up Observatory Hill.

The steps were one of the only bits that actually got built when Charles II started his grand reinterpretation of Greenwich Park into something he fancied as an English Versailles.

He was serious about it, too. For about as long as Charles II was serious about any building project. He got Versaille's garden designer, Andre le Notre in to do the drawings (though most people think the Frenchman never made it across the channel since his designs don't make any sense for a park with the amount of hills that Greenwich has...) and the middle, flat bit in front of the Queen's House was earmarked for a grand parterre, complete with arcades, fountains and gazebos.

In reality, the most garden-action that bit's seen since a bit of initial layout faffery at the beginning of Charles's project were the allotments that sprang up (and which, of course, smothered any useable remains of what parterre there might have been) during WWII.

Likewise, a rather fabulous Classical temple-like grotto-affair by John Webb, a "Grott and Ascent," which I guess would have stood roughly where General Woolfe does now, never saw the light of day, though John Bold has a good pic in his book of how it would have looked.

But the bit in between, the Giant Steps, most certainly did get built - and very odd they were too. What Charles had really wanted was a massive cascade of water down the hill, but as usual his fantasies were rather larger than his budget. So he compromised by having enormous steps carved into the hill, with a slope up the middle for walking. John Bold reckons that the ground was so uneven that even to get it horizontal enough to build steps would have been quite a task.

The steps would have originally been lined with elms. And while they were there, they were mighty popular. "Sir William and I walked into the Park, where the King hath planted trees and made steps in the hill up the castle, which is very magnificent, " wrote Pepys.

The whole project was abandoned by the butterfly-minded king in 1669 - not even a decade of Versailles-a-like for poor old Greenwich. The steps weren't filled in - they just naturally collapsed, though they're still easy enough to spot if you look, especially when the sun is low in the sky or there's snow on the ground. I took this picture early one frosty morning and you can just about see them.

There are several drawings around that show the steps, but since I don't own copyright for any of them, I've decided to give you my own 'artists impression,' by expertly drawing them in over the picture above. Aw, gimme a break - it was my first time playing with a graphics pad...

So - the big question. Could the reinstatement of the Giant Steps be a viable 'legacy' from the Olympics? Would you like to see it? Should a feature that was only around for a few years, but which has made its mark on the park ever since be recreated?

Generally, I like the idea myself; my worry would be that it could never be exactly as it would have been - with a turf path, because of safety/access issues - and if the project were to be an approximation, it could be worse than leaving it as it is.

On the other hand, it could be a really fun thing to do with the park - historic and something of added interest for us now.

I think we should have a poll... Click here to vote as to whether or not you think we should demand our Giant Steps back...

Pet Semetery

Not even people who visit Hornfair Park regularly necessarily know about this place. Sadly some people know it all too well.

Charlton Pet Cemetery seems to have been at its zenith in the 1930s - when, I'm guessing, so was the Lido. Memorials carved with all the sincerity as for human loved ones, noteable as being of the furry variety only because in the 1920s and 30s there weren't too many people in Charlton called Chu-Chu, Ickety Man and Ming Zee.


It must have been a charming corner of the park, and I'm guessing that - what - about 10-15 years ago, someone thought it could be charming again. What I'm assuming were by that point badly-overgrown graves were ripped up and a little patio made from the headstones, with a couple of (cherry?) trees overhanging some rather sinister-looking low concrete benches.

These days, sadly, a good half of said benches have been knocked over. Around the edge, other headstones line beds with a few shrubs dotted around them, now also populated with ground elder and brambles. Oh - and something else...

I found it an intensely depressing experience, wandering round, looking at memorials to much-loved pets - Mike, Rex, Floss, Roy, Mickey, Buntie - and a couple of names that would be, ahem, less acceptable these days - cracked and forgotten, broken and left to moulder.

In human cemeteries, like Nunhead and yes, even areas of Charlton's own, decay is a natural and beautiful part of Life. Plants growing out of graves are to be ooh-ed and ahh-ed at with an indulgent sense of the bucolic.

This, with its municipal, concrete paving, grim, flower-less railings and dusty, empty beds, is just downright sad. Bizarrely, it's actually very photogenic, though. The photo above makes it look quite cute. It isn't. I get no feeling that this is visited for any kind of happy reason. At my feet I saw smashed memorials and signs of a fire. Around the edges was another kind of litter. Take a look at this memorial to Susan:

Now take another look - at the bottom left. Click on it if you can't see properly.

This place could be lovely again - but whoever designed it - I'm guessing in the 1980s - has made it a hard area to love. There's just so much concrete. And I'm guessing that most of the Council's cash goes on looking after that superb area in front of the lido that, admittedly, looks wonderful just now.

I don't think it would take very much to keep this area looked-after - after all, it's 90% hard-paving - but if it was made a little more inviting, perhaps it would be used by someone other than drug addicts...

A Bicycle Made For Three

Nicola asks:

"I’m thinking of cycling my little girls over to nursery in September, from Westcombe Park (via Foyle Road) to Blackheath. I’m hoping to get a bike with a trailer. Does anyone else do this or know of anyone else doing this? Has anyone found it a scary journey? Is cycling from Greenwich to Blackheath straightforward and easy enough to avoid the dreaded traffic? "

The Phantom replies:

You'd seriously consider cycling two small children up that hill? I just hope you live at the top end of Foyle Road...

Seriously, I'd try borrowing a bike and a heart monitor and giving it a try before you shell out on serious kit like a trailer.

Personally, the most precious thing I'd want to carry on a bicycle would be a baguette and a morning paper, but I know that many people are confident enough to ferry kiddies around on one.

I don't know much (read "anything") about trailers, but I'd guess that it would make you a much wider vehicle (read "target") on our narrow roads. Now, of course, that can make you 'safer' - you're forced to use the road more like a car driver than a cyclist, but you are low down - and your cargo will be even lower.

Okay safety warnings over (for the moment) let's get onto the route.

Actually, I'd say that if you are only going via Foyle Road rather than from it, it is probably your path of least resistance. It's slightly longer (or feels like it anyway) than the others, but it also feels shallower and you get the added enjoyment of the most enjoyable topiary in Greenwich.

For the rest of the Greenwich part of the trip, it might be worth nipping through the park - a bit of a long way round but very pretty (and changes with the seasons) and much safer than the road. There are two problems with this - I can't find a map of designated cycle paths for the park (no wonder everyone cycles everywhere - we really should be told exactly where we can go) and, more annoyingly, the junction where Maze Hill meets Westcombe Park Rd - the high kerbs, mini roundabout, railings and narrow gate - will make this a bit of what my old driving instructor used to call "an 'azard."

From there, it's Duke Humphrey's Road (stopping for a cup of tea at the 'ut, perhaps) and Tranquil Vale - but it will take you a long way round, and since I don't know where your daughters' school will be, I could be directing in completely the wrong way across the heath.

So here's a completely different suggestion. (I'm assuming you want to avoid that nasty roundabout.) Turn left at the top of Foyle Road, then right into Beaconsfield Road. From the end, you can either fiddle your way through the back routes through Vanbrugh Park and and the gorgeous Angerstein Lane (warning - rough, unmade surfaces) or follow Vanbrugh Park all the way round.

Your next obstacle will be the A2 - but of course at most times of the day this is at a standstill anyway. Then you can nip down St German's Place, where the only hazard will be the 4X4s dropping off kiddie-winks at sundry prep schools.

If you need to go further into Blackheath, South Row and Pond Road will take you a relative back route. Shortest isn't really an option in this instance, given the payload.

It is, as London rides go, a very pretty trip either way (I would avoid the centre route with the roundabout - it's just too busy) but are you really sure you want to put two small children onto a pushbike? Personally I wouldn't dream of it, though I will be very happy to hear from brave parents who regularly cycle trolley-loads of neighbours' kids across the heath.

I know I'm on a downer here. I am SO not anti-cycling. I love it myself, and I seriously think every car (and especially every lorry) driver should also be a cyclist - just so they know how cyclists think.

But it's been such a short time since our most recent ghost bike. A white bicycle with a trailer would break my heart...

Deptford Pink

In 1597, John Gerard produced a Herball of London-discovered plants. He went on frequent rambles, adding all the 'new' flowers and herbs he could find - adding no less than seventy-three species to his Middlesex list alone.

Whortleberry, Bilberrie and the eye-popping Wild Service Tree are all Gerard discoveries, as is the now long-gone Deptford Pink.

Dianthus Armeia, he says, grew "abundantly in our pastures neare about London, especially in the great field next to Detford by the path side as you go from Redriffe (Rotherhithe) to Greenwich."

It was still blooming merrily in 'Totnam Court' and 'a little beyond the bottom of the hill beyond Highgate' a century later, but it's not been seen north or south of the river for a good couple of hundred years.

That's not to say the plant is extinct. It still exists in pockets in the West Country and Southern Scotland, and, according to Plant Life, somewhere in Kent - looks a bit like the Isle of Sheppey, but they're not 'fessing up. It's considered 'endangered,' but when I looked it up on Wikipedia (which knows everything) it said it's widely grown as an ornamental plant.

Great, I thought. We can all grow it in our gardens and bring it back to the area in some small way. But, try as I might, I've found nowhere that sells it, not even specialist dianthus nurseries. Still - at least you can 'adopt'it (see above.) Or go to see it in Hawaii.

Oddly, it's possible that Gerard got it wrong anyway. According to Arkive it was actually a Thomas Johnson that named the flower, and it's possible that the plant he actually found in Deptford was a completely different pink - Dianthus deltoides (below), and the one known as Deptford Pink is an imposter. If that's true, it's much easier to get hold of - you can buy seeds from Thompson for £1.69...

Sadly I don't think any plant has ever been named after Greenwich herself...

Greenwich Wildlife (6) Kestrel Chicks

Serendipity, eh.

On Saturday I bought an old 1945 book, London's Natural History, mainly because, I have to confess, it tried so hard. The first page I opened had a grainy black and white photograph entitled Male and female cockroaches with egg-sac, followed by Spiders' webs. Subsequent pages dealt with a Stray cat and Cherry Blossom in a suburban front garden.

Actually, it's a fascinating read, not least for the chapters dealing with the wildlife that moved in to the inner city after the Blitz, the pictures that deal with 'a typical backyard poultry run" and the fact that foxes were an almost unknown sight in the 1940s...

Of course, I went straight for the Greenwich pages, and found myself reading the section called The Influence of Smoke, where the author mentions that a Mr Johnson

"records that a kestrel's nest was found by steeplejacks on one of the four chimney shafts of the London Council's tramway power station at Greenwich in 1928."

Dazza spotted a kestrel over in East Greenwich a short while ago, but I was just about to ask if any nests had been seen, when this little chap appeared in my inbox.

Jo says "This baby kestrel was sitting on the chimney pots near the Cutty Sark.There are 3 very active ones there at the moment – seems to be two parents and this little nipper. I also love the fact that they spend a lot of time scaring the pigeons on the power station..."

Especially for Scared of Chives, who was concerned about the poor chap's balancing abilities with just the one leg, Andy has quietly improved his chances of clinging onto that chimney pot.

He'll never make it to Animal Hospital now...

Dwarf Orchard Pictures

Have you noticed that there are virtually no pictures of the Dwarf Orchard? I don't just mean on the internet, I mean full-stop. I've ploughed through books old and new and - zilch. Not even old photos or drawings of how it would have been in its heyday.

I'm not saying there aren't any - just that I can't find them. I think I found two online. When that little flurry of work that started back in the spring began (which, if any of the organisers are reading, many of us couldn't make because it was on a weekday, not because we didn't care...) I had hoped for a few in the local papers.

Now admittedly I don't get the local papers, so I have to either look at other people's or go to the library, and, hands up, I don't always bother (I know, I know, I'm missing thrills and excitement beyond imagination...) but the only pics I saw were closeups of the people doing the clearing, which is nice, but...

Maybe there isn't much to see, maybe it looks exactly the same as every other bit of abandoned formal garden gone back to nature (the best of those, BTW, is the fabulous Warley Place in Essex, about a 25 minute drive away near Brentwood - where wild flowers and creepers have almost entirely consumed the crumbling mansion, leaving tantalising, ferny caves, mosaic-ed floors, sunken rooms and my favourite walled garden ever - seventy/thirty wild/formal.) But I still want to know what's behind those walls.

I'm sure I was once sent some plans of what they intend for the place - but I can't find them. One thing I read was that it was going back, as far as possible, to being formal, another that it was being turned into the dreaded 'community garden.' Anyone who's ever been to Warley might make the argument to more or less leave it as it is, controlled chaos.

Julia lives opposite, and promised to send me some pics, taken from pretty much literally over the wall. We have her to thank for these first images of what's inside what has to be Greenwich Park's most secret area.

For the moment, these are the best we'll get. There's definitely been some clearing; I don't know if it's still going on or it's stalled (hope not...) I would like to know if there's anything of the original left - bits of masonry - very old fruit trees - formal plants gone wild - hard to see from these pics, lovely as they are.

Did anyone join in with the volunteers in the Spring? I'd love to know what's there, what's planned, what's happening...

Not At Risk. No, Really. Honest.

According to a survey by English Heritage released today, one in seven conservation areas in London are 'at risk' - mainly from "neglect, decay or damaging change."

You know the sort of thing - dodgy extensions, icky 'improvements,' street clutter, the wholesale paving-over of front gardens, giant advertisement hoardings, nasty front dormers, yada, yada. EH's biggest bugbear is plastic windows and doors.

"Hm," I thought to myself. "I can think of a few 'additions' to some local conservation areas. I'll look up the results and see just how bad we are..."

Hold onto your hats, folks. Greenwich is squeaky-clean.

What? Not a single conservation area in the whole of Greenwich borough at risk? Heavens. What paragons of heritage preservation we must be after all. I must have just been imagining that front-dormer in Humber Road...

It was only when I looked a little further, that I started to smell a rat. English Heritage got their results by contacting councils and asking them if there was anything wrong with their lovely conservation areas. Simon Thurley, (CEO of EH) was "delighted that 75% responded..."

Let's look at the possible meanings of our own fair borough's omission from the list.

Number One. The Bucolic Greenwich Scenario. We really do have completely healthy conservation areas, every development in these spots is utterly gorgeous to look at and we live in an Arcadian Dream.

Aw, c'mon. It's possible...

Number Two. The Oops-I-knew-there-was-something-I-meant-to-do Scenario. Greenwich Council couldn't be bothered forgot to fill in the form. Well - at least they're not alone - a quarter of councils did the same thing.

Number Three. The Nothing-to-see-here Scenario. Surely Greenwich Council wouldn't lie about the state of our conservation areas? After all we're not at any kind of risk of losing our World Heritage status, are we.

Nah. It's got to be Number One. It's just got to be.

What's your favourite 'addition' to a conservation area? Remember it has to be a conservation area, so sadly my all-time favourite conversion, to adjoining properties on the corner of Halstow and Chevening Roads - so extraordinary that it's made its way into a Harper Collins book on period property, and worth making a special trip just to witness (sorry - I've never had my camera whenever I've been that way), doesn't count...

Flaming June

A simple post today, courtesy of Stevie (well, ok, the bland one above's by me...) When I visited Rangers House Rose Garden a couple of weeks ago, it wasn't quite ready, but with the warm weather we've been having, things have come on apace.

I don't know what any of these particular roses are, but at the south end of the path, there's a plan with all the varieties listed, even down to the ones in the stone urns.

So - get on out there, stand in the middle, near that little meadow-y part that has the big tree (the one that often has little memorials underneath it...) and breath deeply, folks.

Different to Wednesday's limes, but just as heady. We Londoners have to enjoy pleasant smells while we can - they don't come along too often...