"Carl I Have Your Robert Wyatt Albums..."

All, it appears, that is left of the Powder Monkey. A hastily-scribbled note with a hotmail address, sellotaped to the outside...

So. Is the Powder Monkey dead - or just very well closed during the day?

Favourite Front Gardens (4)

St Alfege's Guesthouse, 16, St Alfege's Passage SE10

I've been a bit of a grumpy old phantom of late so I thought I'd cheer myself up with a favourite front garden. This one's at St Alfege's Guesthouse, which still has to be the funkiest place to stay in Greenwich. One day I'll actually make it inside (so difficult to be a tourist in your own town...) but if the pics on the website and this garden are anything to go by, it must be cool indeed.

What I love about this place is that they 'officially' have no garden at all to speak of. The rest of the places in that particular bit of passage open out onto the street, but Number 16 has no intention whatsoever of being without greenery. A little area has been created using the natural street furniture - railings and the lamp post, a collection of giant pots and a tempting-looking bench.

Inside, there's not an inch of space between the plants - save for another, hidden little bench. Tropical - date palms and banana plants - and classic evergreens, they may be mixed in 'climate' but they do keep to a palette - just green - and very cool it is too. It's ever-so slightly jumbled and bohemian-looking with the odd weed tolerated rather than ripped out, which keeps it from looking prissy, and I enjoy it every time I walk past.

My heart gives a little leap whenever I'm staying somewhere in the world, am searching for my hotel and I see an entrance like this. It's a sign that I have made the right choice.

In this particular case I can't tell you whether you have made the 'right choice' if you have chosen to stay at St Alfege's - I have never stayed there myself. But all the signs are that it will be fab - and you can guarantee that if you choose one of the faceless multinational business-hotel alternatives, you will have made the wrong choice.

There is, of course, an opportunity to get a sneaky peek into the Guesthouse on, I believe, Monday, when it will be part of a fly-on-the-wall documentary The Hotel Inspectors. In the meanwhile, enjoy another example of an interesting and quirky Greenwich Front Garden...

2nd Annual Metro Drag Race

I don't often do 'previews' but this one sounds such fun I thought I'd let you know about it. I thoroughly approve of New Traditions.

Paul and Darren have kindly reminded me that at 7.00pm on 11th August, you can, outside the Rose & Crown, meet the contestants for the 2nd Annual Metro Drag Race. The race begins at 8.00pm.

Don't worry - it's hardly the Marathon - just down King William Walk, around the market, round the Powder Monkey where there is the small obstacle of knocking back a shot (think of it as a hurdle) and back to the R&C - but then would YOU want to race 26 miles in a fabulous frock, wig and high heels?

Last year's winner, Xana Xanax (the only palindrome drag queen from the Antipodes) is favourite, naturally, but there's plenty of opportunity to challenge "The Fastest Thing on Heels." If you don't think you'll manage to be fastest, there is also a prize for Best legs and Most Expensive Drag (the one that earns most for Metro Centre, the charity supported.)

If you fancy joining in, call 020 8265-3311 - or just turn up to cheer the racers on...

Rose & Crown Refit

Stockwell St SE10

We were all a bit concerned when the Rose & Crown suddenly shut down a few months ago. Bitter experience has often seen such an event followed by a designer refit and a takeover from a well-known local chain, and some column inches both here and elsewhere were taken up with rumour and speculation as to what would happen to this much loved, gay-friendly boozer.

It re-opened a couple of weeks ago, but it's taken me a little while to actually get there to test it out. Firstly, it absolutely, definitely isn't Greenwich Inc, and it looks like it. They've made an effort - trendy wallpaper with floral designs and industrial 70s-esque lights hanging from the ceiling over the bar. But much hasn't changed and actually this refit still leaves the pub ever-so-slightly un-hip, of which I approve. I don't feel entirely comfortable in places that are so fashionable they set my teeth on edge, and this refit, though making a big effort, has managed to kept a quaintness that works.

Bombadier is the only 'proper' beer I could see - the choice isn't fabulous - and despite the ENORMOUS framed chalk board with an initially sumptuous-looking wine list, a closer peek reveals that it really consists only of the Jacobs Creek / E&J Gallo variety - nothing at all out of the ordinary, which is a shame.

As I approached the newly spruced-up, but still traditional-feeling exterior (which does look good) it looked really full, though I quickly realised that of course it was going to be busy outside - that was where all the smokers go these days. I stepped inside, earning myself quite a look from Olivier seated opposite who clearly thought I was some kind of turncoat for not going into his establishment, and easily found a seat indoors.

It's a pleasant, friendly sort of pub, and though the drink isn't the best I've ever had, it was a nice enough place to while away some time before going to the cinema. But I have one concern.

While I was there, it seemed that the clientele had fundamentally changed. When I first arrived, there were only what looked like local teenagers drinking there. Plenty of them, but very obviously straight. Rather later I spotted one gay couple coming in, and there are a couple of posters in the loos advertising gay events, but I was surprised.

Tell me, folks. Is this still a mainly gay pub? And what do you think of the refit?

Rose & Crown update

I'm told that the Rose & Crown will be re-opening on or around the 17th May. I have no idea whether it is the old owners who have just refurbished, new owners sympathetic to the old clientele - or new owners with aspirations to change its character. All I know is that I'm pretty sure it's not Greenwich Inc. The best way to ensure it keeps its (much-appreciated) style, I guess, is to frequent it.

Cheers, Mr Anon, for the tip-off...

St Alfege's Passage (Oooer, Missus...)

A charming little early-Victorian slip-though running down beside St Alfege's church. The house on the end, next to the entrance to the churchyard is by far the prettiest at any time of year as they carefully keep their window boxes full to bursting point. What with the old stone paving, the splendid entrance to St Alfege's churchyard and the lovely lamp posts, this is an enchanting passageway.

At No 16, is St Alfege's Guest House, a dear little B&B - from what I can see on the website. I walked down there the other day to see if I could find it (before I looked it up) and it's so discreet that I couldn't tell which house it was.

Run by Robert & Nicholas (or so I read) it has, it would appear, three exquisite rooms, one of which is a single; another has a four-poster bed. The sitting room looks cosy too. The prices seem pretty damn reasonable for the centre of Greenwich - nay, for London - from £40 for a single room. It's predominantly gay, but claims to give straight people an equally warm welcome. Watch out, Robert and Nicholas. The Phantom or one of the team of spooky spies will be staying with you soon...

www.st-alfeges.co.uk

The Rose and Crown

A boisterous, busy, mainly gay bar which isn't anti-straight. A pub along traditional lines, this is warm, welcoming and friendly. I've always found it a good - if rather smoky - bar, and never failed to have a good time. The Rose & Crown doesn't do food - but the atmosphere hots up as the evening progresses - so definitely one to go to later on.