Top Tips

I notice that the Government is just about to launch a review into the way that restaurants handle tipping to waiting staff. It ranges from the mildly cross-making Pizza Express keeping 8% for administration charges (to which I say sort-of fair enough) to the boycott-inducing Carluccios who keep all the gratuities to top up the minimum wage - which is frankly disgraceful. In between these companies there are all sorts of versions - some of which, I am sure, actually allow the waiters to keep their tips.

I have long asked in every restaurant I eat in what their policy for tipping is - and usually end up sending the bill back with a request to remove the 'service charge' from the bill, to pay in cash. But even this could be futile.

According to the BBC Website not even paying cash tips helps ensure it goes to the people who have served you and added service charges sometimes go nowhere near the staff at all in some cases. Now there is the system where the tips are shared by the whole kitchen - which is another issue - but even so, some restaurant owners divvy it up and include themselves in the share-out.

So I think it's about time we named and shamed in Greenwich. I'll start.

Greenwich Inc. I got so fed up with the staff telling me that they never saw their tips that I called a manager over one day and asked him to explain. He told me that it went towards a company incentive scheme, whatever that is.

Now excuse me - but I am not here to subsidise Greenwich Inc for trying to bribe their staff to arrive on time, help with the washing up, stay late to sweep the floors etc. I am paying a tip to a particular person who has given me good service. Swiping my money to use for another purpose is not acceptable.

Of course it's more acceptable that making up the already pathetic minimum wage with tips a la Carluccios (yes I am still banging on about him...) but it's still extremely poor.

BUT - and this is a big but. I don't believe that Greenwich Inc are in any way lone villains here. And I want you lot to help me out.

When you go into a restaurant in Greenwich, I want you to ask the staff what happens to your tips - preferably a) those included in the bill as service charges, b) those that you add on as part of your credit card payment if you don't have any cash on you and c) cash tips.

Then report back here. And folks - do sign up to hear updates on the comments. We need to work on this together. To find out which eateries need to be avoided from now on (thank God we don't have a Carluccios - and he seemed such a nice, roly-poly sort of man, too...) those we need to give cash at, those we can safely tip within the service charge or a credit card option - and those lovely restarants/cafes who actually give a damn about their staff. I especially want to know about them. This should be a positive, not a negative thing.

By the way. Legend has it that the word "tip" comes from an acronym "To Insure Promptness." Maybe that's why some of our service is so damn slow...

Itoshi

Nelson Road, SE10

The latest incarnation of the Restaurant Formerly Known As Thai Chung until it got burnt-out is one of those Japanese conveyor-belt jobs. It is, as far as I can tell, an independent, which is always A Good Thing. It's been open for a couple of weeks now, and I thought it was about time I popped in.

I guess the watchword here is Novelty. It's just fun watching your dinner going round on a little automated track, choosing what you fancy as it goes by. It works on the same system as the Yo-Sushi chain - plates are colour-coded, you pile 'em up as you go along, and they count the different coloured plates at the end. It's good as you never order more than you can eat and fear of the embarrassment of having so many empty plates you can't see over the top prevents you from being too much of a greedy pig.

The place is spartan - white-painted and unadorned with pictures or paintings. There are a couple of lucky gold waving cats and the odd pot plant and that's it. For me it's just a little too spartan - I don't mean they should get flock wallpaper or paper garlands and fancy lanterns or anything, and I know that Japanese style is generally quite minimalist, but it does feel a bit, well, unfinished. Perhaps it is. I don't know whether they'll add any more to it later.

Most of the place is taken up with the shiny new conveyor belt and bar stools, though there are a couple of tables if you want to order food-to-measure.

So. Is it any good? I'd say it's not bad. I didn't find myself hyperventilating over either the choice or the quality, but save for one very sad-looking bowl of snow peas that trundled miserably around, looking just that little bit older every time it went by, the sushi was fresh, perfectly enjoyable and nicely presented. Hardly pricey either. I always find sushi far more filling than it looks and I felt nicely satisfied by the time I left and happy-enough about the experience that I stopped in at the new Japanese grocery store on Trafalgar Road to buy some sushi-making ingredients on the way home.

This isn't Ginza. It isn't even Zin. But the service is friendly and very sweet ("Please tips me..." says the little saucer next to the till of a completely automated service...) the dishes perfectly enjoyable and the experience fast and filling. And of course it is far better than its near-neighbour, the appalling Noodle Time, which surprises me every time I go past in that it still manages to find customers. Check it out - take the kids - the fun bit is definitely the food going round.

The Guildford

Guildford Grove, SE10

I first went here for lunch with friends a good few months ago, and really enjoyed it, but wanted to experience the full evening atmosphere before a review. It's a newish conversion from old-time-boozer to gastro-pub and I had heard very different opinions of it, so at least two visits were necessary, I felt...

As pub-restaurants go, it's not cheap. Most of the meaty mains are around fifteen quid, and the alcohol is also pricey. But I have to say that I like this place as well, if not better than many similar-priced eateries around here. So shoot me.

It's cosy - the lush red walls and curtains, the squashy sofas by the modern fire and slightly kitsch chandeliers take care of that, and the tables aren't too close together. The drinking area is pretty small, really, with funky wood surfaces and a vase that looks like it came out of Professor Branestawm's lab, though even on the very quiet night we were in there (actually it wasn't full on the lunchtime either) there were a couple of well-heeled-looking regulars sitting at the bar with newspapers. There was only one other table of actual diners the whole time we were there.

The service was relaxed and very friendly indeed - a cheery chap, happy to let us sit with drinks on the leather sofa until we felt like ordering at the tables, and knowledgeable-enough about the excellent compilation CD on the sound system to be able to tell me who was playing on a particular track without having to look it up.

Now. I know this is going to sound like some dodgy local paper review, but I really did love everything I ate that evening. The aubergine-sunblush-tomato ensemble I scoffed as a starter was beautifully prepared - lots of funky drizzled bits and sumptuous layers that melted into each other in my mouth. The Phantom Companion's duck rillettes on toast were equally enjoyable.

The mains kept-up the side. I'd already had the risotto on another occasion so tried something different - a rather splendid cod confection, beautifully executed. TPC couldn't decide whether to have the beef or the pork, so asked the waiter, who recommended the pork, in spite of the beef costing considerably more. It was a good shout - done to perfection.

I'm squirming as I write this. There's normally something I can carp about. But this really was a hugely enjoyable meal. I didn't really fancy the puddings (a good thing really; this Phantom-gig is piling on the pounds...) so we just had a coffee and cleared off.

The price of this place is going to mean I don't get to go back there as much as I'd like to. But for a nice semi-special-to-special night out, I'd say this would be a good choice indeed. A few more visits (I want to try the garden as soon as it's warm enough) and this could join the list of Phantom Favourite Haunts...

The website promises an upstairs restaurant area with more brasserie-type downstairs food, though it hasn't materialised yet. Maybe they aren't getting enough custom yet. That's a shame. From what I experienced, they deserve it.

Mehak

Trafalgar Road SE10

I always wondered why this place used to be called The Standard Tandoori when its curries were best described as substandard, so when it was taken over and became the Mehak, I was very excited. That excitement lasted as long as my first meal there. It was going to take several encouraging emails and the recommendation of trusted friends to get me back in, even after the refurb.

I'd been particularly worried since during the redecoration, or at least during its early knocking-things-down stage, they continued to do takeaways. Note to self: avoid this one like the plague. I'm glad to say they did stop cooking when the dust got really bad, but all the same I wasn't in much of a rush to get back.

But lovely Phantom regulars have been nudging me for some time to give it another go, so we decided to try again. It was a Wednesday night.

Am I the only person who thinks of Henry VIII, wenches and whole sucking pigs at the mere mention of the word banquet? Well, at the Mehak, Wednesday nights are Banquet Nights but not quite in that sense of the word. It's basically an opportunity to stuff your face for £9.95 which frankly seemed too much of a good thing to turn down.

It's a large menu, with dozens of dishes and alternate options and all the old favourites. I'm an old favourites kinda phantom, so the Secret Control Order was placed (as far as possible) and we sat back to enoy the atmosphere.

I guess I should mention that almost every last scrap of the old decor is gone - instead of flock wallpaper and arch-back tapestry chairs, it's all white walls and sleek furniture. They couldn't really get rid of the columns and mosaics outside, but they've painted them black in the hope that they will shrink into the back of the mind. I like it (though I confess that if a curry house is truly amazing, I'm a bit of a sucker for flock wallpaper...) It was about half full, mainly with couples and families. Later on we were to be joined by the obigatory Bunch of Blokes^TM but apart from one guy who (much to his mates increasing irritation) kept popping outside to make phone calls (new girlfriend, I'd guess from the simpering I could see going on through the glass) they were model citizens.

The Puppodums (not included in the banquet deal but generally a good indication of the food to come) were fresh and crisp; their accompanying sauces (also extras) a bit on the neon-side but perfectly good to taste. But they didn't prepare me for the main event.

Which was very good indeed. The starters were beautifully prepared - well-presented with thought and care. They tasted fabulous. The mains were generously-sized (maybe Good King Henry wouldn't have felt so out of place after all) and again, nicely-executed, well-spiced and good-looking on the plate. There was no way we were going to finish that lot, but I gave it my best. I nearly asked for a doggy bag (BTW I've never done that in Britain - has anyone else? Somehow in other countries it seems fine but here I'm not sure what the reaction would be.)

The final course was a real throwback to the 1970s. Coffee with cream, which was somehow quite comforting in a childhood-celebrations kind of way, and a shot of Baileys - something I haven't tasted since I was about 17 and probably won't bother doing again. Still - it was a fun touch (probably more in keeping with the former decor) and I rather liked it. I liked the orange chocolate even better.

With the accompanying puppodums, sauces and (ahem) several Cobra beers, the entire bill came to £35 for two. I've paid more than that at the Bombay Bicycle Club for just the food.

It's good, folks. I'm still not totally convinced by the only takeaway I've had from there, but the eat-in option - go for it...

Cattleya (Chu & Cho)

52 Charlton Church Lane, SE7 7AB

I'm going to have to visit this place again soon (not least because I still haven't seen the band that plays there on alternate Sunday nights) mainly because it's unfair to base a review on a visit at 6.30pm on a Monday night.

Not that I had a bad time - far from it - but more of that later. Merely that we were (understandably) the only people in there - and though I try to bring the party feeling with me wherever I go, I can't do it all on my own...

We nearly didn't get in at all. The sign said 'open,' the candles were lit, and the lights dimmed. They'd just forgotten to unlock the door. We began to wonder whether it had gone back to its pre-Cattleya opening hours, but a swift phone call did the trick. Terribly sweet people, deeply embarrassed, opened the door for us, and that kind of thing breaks ice - though I doubt it needed breaking. The service from the start was charming.

It's an odd mix, Thai and Spanish Tapas. I had somehow expected more of a crossover - classic Spanish dishes with Thai spices, for example, or Thai dishes with a solid Spanish twist. But it does actually seem that the menu is Spanish stuff on one side and Thai on the other - more of a combination than a fusion.

Just to be absolutely fair, we decided to do our own fusion, by ordering a selection from both sides of the Tapas menu - a real melange of flavours - something for our stomachs to deal with later - and sat back with drinks from the bar. They do a good selection of beers, but frankly 6.30pm on a Monday was too early for my new drinking regimen (aw, c'mon, I'm trying...) so I just had tap water, which The Evening Standard will be delighted to know came without question. (BTW am I the only person in the world who hasn't had any trouble getting tap water in restaurants for about 10 years? I truly wonder what all the fuss is about - every eaterie I've been in, from excessively smart to down-and-dirty, quite happily coughs up free tap water if I ask for it. Seems to me people are just too scared of looking tight to ask.)

The place has had a bit of a makeover to become Cattleya. Folding sliding doors for summer, the obligatory laminate floors and simple, solid-colour walls softened with funky lights and little exotic flowers in vases, which may or may not be the orchid the place is named for. Atmosphere was nil - for the reasons stated above, but I bet on a Saturday afternoon when Charlton are playing at home it's a different story. I'll try again on an evening, later in the week, for a compromise.

The food is good. Simple, honest and down-to-earth, (though they have registered the word Thai-Med as a trademark, which seems a little OTT to me, given that it's just two different types of food on the same menu.) It's not cordon-bleu - but that's not what you go to a place like this for. The Spanish stuff has a heat that's pleasing and the Thai dishes (essentially starters from a classic Thai menu) were very enjoyable. The tempura, always a bit of a test as it can be utterly horrid - wrong temperatures, old oil, bad batter, I've had 'em all - was crisp and fresh, and if ever so slightly oily, at least it was good, clean oil.

I always manage to over-order tapas so we ended up with a sea of dishes around us and, troughing away in the empty place, we felt like the parents out of Spirited Away. What's worse is that I was brought up to clear my plate, so I scoffed the lot. Well. It would have been rude not to.

So now I need to go back. I've heard this place has a great atmosphere and I want to experience it. But one thing's for certain - it fills a gap in Charlton which is not exactly over-endowed with good eateries. A nice find.

http://www.cattleyathaimed.com/

The Plume of Feathers

Park Vista, SE10

This must be one of the oldest pubs in Greenwich. It dates back to 1691 - I'm not sure how much of it is actually from 1691, and how much is from the refit in George III's time but it certainly looks old, with its green tiled walls and low-lying feel and what's great is that it's still a cosy, popular pub, but being set just that little bit off the tourist trail, business tends to be 90% locals despite its being opposite the Park.

Well, ok, maybe not quite opposite the Park. The Dwarf Orchard (for another day...) gets in the way, its tall sycamores (read "weed trees" but don't get me started on that one) looming over that intriguing Secret Garden wall, and keeping the Plume of Feathers' country-in-the-city feel.

Not that it always had such a grand name - it was at first, just The Feathers. It only became The Plume of Feathers in the Regency. I haven't read this anywhere, but it does occur to me that maybe it was in honour of the Prince Regent, who was also Prince of Wales. If it was it would have driven poor Caroline of Brunswick potty - she was a local and by that time very much estranged from Prince George.

The old pub's dissected by the Meridian Line - a complete coincidence since the ML is a much younger feature. I've never noticed the metal strip I hear marks it outside - I'm always too busy crashing my way towards (or from, ahem,) the low, dark door, but I shall definitely (possibly) look out for it in future.

There's a great history of the place here, so I won't bore you with any more detail and instead I'll just move onto what it's like now...

What I love about the Plume of Feathers is that it's cosy in winter and fresh in summer. I love sitting outside with friends on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Those straight, no-nonsense benches are perfect for the age and style of the pub - any other kind of seating would be wrong - and though the garden out back's lovely, I would still choose to sit on the street if there's a bench available.

Inside is like your gran's parlour. Actually, I say that, but many grans are quite funky these days. Strike that. Inside is more like one of those pubs you hope to encounter after a day's hiking on the Yorkshire Moors and that really only occur in am-dram whodunnits. Low-ceilinged, low-lit, low prices. I may be lying about the last one. Squirly, trifle-topping artex walls are covered with pictures of old Greenwich - many of the Plume itself - and strange glass cases filled with olde-worlde nonsense and which are just perfect for the situation.

Little wall-lights with tassel-trimming and thick curtains are just part of the reason I love the pub in winter, The two open fires are another part. But what I really love is the welcome. Everyone is nice (well - I've never known anything else.) The staff are friendly and chatty but not overbearing or worse, too chummy, and even if there are things 'off' the menu (a regular occurrence - it's a popular place) the way they tell you is so charming you can't be frustrated.

And that brings me to the back, restaurant area. Wooden panels and open fire, thick curtains and candlelight - winter is definitely the best time to eat here (unless it's nice enough to eat in the garden of course.) I'm told they do a mean roast, but I've not tried it. The regular menu is very good - basic, no-nonsense pub food - fish & chips, pies and "famous-burgers." The wine list is not bad, and there is plenty of real ale choice. Don't miss my favourite picture on the wall - a cartoon of the Plume including, Dionysus, Sappho, Argos, Pan and, 'customers...' Oh - and the loos have pictures of Lord Nelson and Lady Hamilton. Ahhh....

I read on one website that the Plume of Feathers has a ghost - a friendly old gent who sits in the window and raises his glass to you before disappearing. True? Who can tell. It's amazing what you see after a few glasses...

Beachcomber

Greenwich Church St

I confess that until about two weeks ago, I'd never set foot in this place. There was just something about it - part tourist tat, part seaside caff - which is fine on Southend Seafront, less fitting in the middle of Greenwich. Outside, dodgy paintings of seafood and a couple of sad-looking palm trees boded ill for the interior.

But in my quest to find out what every restaurant in Greenwich is like, it needed to be tested, so, after my mum and I had sat for a good fifteen minutes in Bar du Musee being eyed by, but not not actually attended to by two waiters (perhaps we didn't look like the 'right' kind of diners) we left and determined to try something else. My mum's not that easy to please, liking 'British' food - i.e. nothing spicy or garlicy, so fish and chips seemed the best option. Along that little bit of Greenwich Church St there are at least three chippys, but I wanted my mum to be able to sit down and, let's face it, who hasn't been just a little bit intrigued by Beachcomber on the corner?

It's minute (well, downstairs, at least)and choc-a-bloc with genuine kitsch - so very uncool that it's almost back to being so. Dark blue anaglypta dados and white-painted walls underneath a jungle of rubber plants, dodgy 'oil paintings,' mirrors, fake stuffed fish and, when we went there, groaning under cheap red and orange tinsel & fairy lights. The music was much the same - Christmassy, of the Slade variety. The paper-covered tables are crammed next to each other, and, since it was lunchtime, there wasn't a spare seat. Clearly a lot of people like to go to this place for lunch - and that's always a good sign. It could have been claustrophobic but actually it was all rather cosy.

We were lucky in that as we walked in, a table became free, and an effusive manager waved off the previous occupants and whisked us into their vacated seats with a single movement. It was all rather sudden, but after our being totally ignored in the previous place, it was quite nice to get the feeling we were actually wanted. He seemed to be a bit of a double act with the young waiter who was flirting with any woman under the age of 87, and being heartily ticked-off for it by the guy in charge.

The menu card is as big as the place is small. I always find massive amounts of things on menus a bit worrying - it smacks of jacks-of-all-trades, masters-of-none. I was slightly worried that much of it would be assembly-jobs, or reconstituted frozen stuff, so I decided to stick to something simple - the fish and chips.

The portions, like the menu, are huge. I couldn't see my plate underneath the enormous lump of haddock, its accompanying chips and a walloping great dollop of 'tartare' sauce, brought in a dish and doled out by the waiter.

I have to say the food isn't very tasty. It's perfectly ok - both portions of fish were moist and with crispy batter, and definitely the best bit. The chips were big, and ok, but not enjoyable enough for me to manage very many of them. The sauce was a bit odd - more like onion-flavoured mayonnaise. But the mugs of tea were pleasingly orange, and it took us a long way to wade through both the tea and the food. The prices are about average.

So. A reasonable choice for a quick lunch in town, but definitely not a gourmet experience. I'm not sure I would ever visit for an evening meal, but I would go back for lunch again sometime - if only for the friendly, seaside-y experience. I had a peek in the upstairs room when I went to the loo - much the same as downstairs, but not open at the moment - presumably it's reserved for the summer visitor influx - for there's no getting away from the fact that it is mainly a tourist joint.

If you go, do take a peek at the photo at the bottom of the stairs, of the shop perhaps fifty years or longer ago. It was a fishmonger then, and the barrels of different fish and blokes in aprons are well worth seeing.

Hand Made Foods (Upstairs)

Tranquil Vale, SE3

We all know how good Hand Made Foods fare is - excruciatingly expensive, of course, but utterly wonderful. That pastry, those tarts, those pies, those salads - every single dish is fabulous - and frankly, for quality this high, I'm happy to push the boat out from time to time.

Only one real problem. Where to sit whilst eating it. The shop is tiny and most of the interior was taken up with - well - food, and the odd bar-place. Outside, the little wooden tables are a wonderful way to while away a lazy half-hour but try getting one. Short of hovering over some poor sod who may or may not be finishing and then fighting off three other would-be munchers with elbows and carrier bags - so uncivilised - only the takeaway option remained.

But what's the alternative? Expansion? Trouble is, that virtually every expansion I've ever witnessed has seen a corresponding contraction in quality. (Has anyone else been to Maison Bertaux since it expanded? Twice the price and half the atmosphere.) First it's next door, then it's a small chain, next thing you know it's become a 'brand' and private equity funds are sniffing around (Cue Patisserie Valerie, since we're sort-of in Soho for this paragraph...) Somehow I feel more abandoned by small, cute companies that have expanded to the point of being stock exchange fodder than the big multinationals that never pretended to be anything else.

Hand Made Foods, happily still a long way from being buyout-ammo, has found a half-way house - albeit only a temporary one. They've expanded upstairs. And it's charming. What was clearly the original shopkeeper's old front parlour, complete with fireplace and homely feel has been simply painted, given a couple of funky pictures and a few old wooden kitchen tables and mis-matched chairs and opened as an upstairs eating area. The pics are good - I like the circular one above the mantel, though I confess I was sorely tempted to colour-in the oneimmediately above my place - it's exactly like a giant version of those 'painting by numbers' kits you get as a kid.

It's still a bit of a bunfight to get a seat, but not as bad as it was. I couldn't decide (as usual) so contrived to eat various pies and pastries vicariously through the people I was with ("Oooh - that one looks amazing, doesn't it, George...") and although I was actually brought the wrong item (something I didn't realise until I bit into it) it was so good I didn't complain - I'll just have to have what I originally ordered next time...

The problem is already beginning to resurface though. Even six months after they first opened upstairs, you already have to check there's somewhere to sit before you make any choices. I just hope they have a third floor.

But the food is as incredible as ever. As one of my companions remarked "It's the sort of food you'd make yourself if you had the time. And the ingredients. And the energy. And the skill..."

Thai Silk

O2

Now here's a place that can't decide what it wants to be. I was quite excited when I heard that there was going to be a branch of Thai Silk opening at the Dome as the one at Waterloo (now closed, I'm told) was quite a classy joint. I thought it was a great idea to have one or two quieter, more intimate restaurants in the complex - after all not everyone wants to cram into noisy bars with a load of other fans of whatever they're going to see - some people must fancy something a bit more more exclusive. And it's not as though they're short of space in that great tent.

The first thing that hit me as I walked in was the number of TV screens dotted around - one giant one and at least four smaller ones. The sound was turned off, but the pictures continued - showing football, of course - though two different matches, in case one wasn't enough. Now, as regular readers will know, I'm not a fan of TV screens in bars, but there are occasions when they are appropriate. I can imagine gig nights and big matches can be a draw for a bar like that. But a whole bunch of us had popped in for lunch on a Sunday. The place was full, and not one face was watching telly. Not one.

But back to the restaurant. Or the bar, anyway, as the restaurant, despite the bar being jam-packed, was closed. There's no doubt that the place is situated in the Dome - the feet of one of the tent-poles are firmly placed in various parts of it, which at least provided a topic of conversation, mainly of the odds-calculation variety, surrounding the lightning conductors down the side of them.

It's painted a burnt orange with funky red lampshades and most of the seating is squashy leather armchairs - comfy enough as bar seating - very nice, in fact, but rather slidey when you're trying to sit forward to eat. Similar problems occur with the tables. There were six of us, and the few 'ordinary' tables were already taken, so we, like everyone else, had to sit in our armchairs with three tiny round tables to balance the food on. All this would be ok - I don't mind balancing food if there's no other option - but there was a really nice-looking, totally unused restaurant upstairs.

Now, I know why they do it - they want the place to look full - and maybe they're not counting on repeat business - but I really think they would have got drinkers as well as eaters if they'd opened upstairs. Everyone in that bar, including several families, was eating - and presumably having the same less-comfy-than-they-would-have-been-upstairs experience.

But the food. Now there's my problem. How can somewhere that relies so much on what it looks like - to the point of making its diners less comfy than they could be - serve such heavenly food? Everything, save a rather unexciting green curry, was wonderful. Beautifully presented, well-executed and extremely tasty. The starters were, without exception, superb - smoky satays (I could had a bit more sauce but that's just greed) rich soups, fabulous sweetcorn cakes, interesting leaf-wrapped chicken - all was beautiful. The dim-sum was dainty and tasty.

The best of the mains was definitely the lamb-shank - a good cut, practically falling off the bone and done to perfection. The duck gave the lamb a good run for its money though (oh, what an image that conjures...) and the jungle curry was much better than the plain green one which was frankly a bit unsubtle. One of our party had asked for a slightly different combination and had been told a categorical 'no,' so had ordered something else. When she looked at her meal, though, it was what she had asked for after all - so the kitchen certainly can create things off-menu - it's worth an ask.

So - great food, not so great place to eat it. This would be a good bar to go to before a gig - or just as a bar - I don't even mind the TV screens if I don't have to look at them (though the waiter told us that they even get complaints from football fans - they're never showing the game they want to watch - an occupational hazard at somewhere that attracts visitors from all over Britain....) - but I really wish they'd just open the restaurant for those of us who want to enjoy that fabulous food (it was even mooted that it could be better than that of Kum Laung, though I'm not so sure myself) in relative peace.

The Vanbrugh

Colomb St, SE10

After a long time of trying to go to The Vanbrugh to eat and failing (there was always some reason why I would walk out again - somehow it felt a little unwelcoming every time I went in - though of course one of those nights happened to be Quiz Night - and quiz nights by their very nature tend to be a bit clique-y) I am a convert. I went for Sunday lunch a week or so ago, and enjoyed it so much I was back in there last night. I've realised that the slightly odd feel really is only around the edges and, once inside it's actually the gem I'd always hoped it would be.

Although it looks "trendy" from the outside, the pub-area is the classic traditional boozer, with an old-fashioned bar, specials chalked on the boards and a cosy atmopshere. I could personally lose the TV screens but let's face it they've got 'em everywhere these days - and it's nothing unusual. You quickly get used to them.

Service is friendly and efficient and I got a greeting from the chefs in the kitchen (as you know, I take note of things like that - if the chefs seem happy, then much else is probably in order.)

The 'restaurant area' is round the back - bare brick walls painted pink, one papered with a trendy design. I'm sure that it used to be all tables, but they seem to have moved some of them into the 'smoking area' now, replacing them with squashy sofas - a good move IMHO.

The food's generally good. The roasts are fine - not the very best I've ever had, but highly respectable and certainly worth a return visit. I had some fish and chips which were very good indeed and they were nicely prepared and presented. The menu (apart from the roasts) changes regularly and the food is properly sourced from decent local suppliers. The wine is also much better than your bog-standard pub stuff.

I guess what I really like about this pub though, is that they make an effort. There is, as I mentioned earlier, a famous quiz night (details on their really rather good website) - but they also do one-off events and film nights, where they roll down a screen and the sofas come into their own. The films are of the indie variety.

There seems to be some sort of dispute over the nice-looking garden, though I'm not sure what it is - noise - size - whatever. I wanted to ask but they seemed a bit busy. I'm sure one of you will fill me in...

www.thevanbrugh.co.uk

La Fleur

Royal Hill, SE10

I have often walked down this street before

But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before...

What a delight. I have been meaning to try La Fleur properly for ages - it just looked so lovely from the outside. But I always seemed to have just had a cup of tea (funny that - must be the proxmity of Royal Teas and Buenos Aires) and the most I have got around to was buying plants.

Walking past a few days ago, though, I just couldn't resist the Christmas display (all white branches and clear sparkles against the pale sagey-green of the paintwork, with wonderful winter flowers - cyclamen, narcissus, holly and ivy) and just had to go in. I'm sure there are more tables and chairs in there since the last time I was there - I could have sworn there were only a couple of tables before. There are now at least four - though of course the tiny space itself hasn't increased, and the jungle of ferns, palms and even a baby olive tree, its grey-silver leaves looking fabulous against the tasteful cream walls. Also looking great are the 'gardening tools' and coloured wellies hung as decoration in the few gaps left by the greenery.

The tables are suitably rustic - French style, which considering the French voices at the till while I was there (aha - those Holmesian deduction skills again) is hardly surprising. The service is incredibly friendly. I was hardly ordering a feast - a coffee and a tea - but the attention to detail to getting my order exactly to my taste was impressive. It's amazing how much difference really good service makes - I just knew I was going to enjoy it when it arrived.

They do simple snacks too, and I fancied a cake, even though I knew I shouldn't have one. My willpower is low at the best of times but even I was able to resist that day. Why? Because I can't resist cakes if I see them, but I can resist description. They didn't have sweeties on display so I had to ask about them. By the time they'd told me what cakes they had, I had regrouped and was able to say "no thank you I don't really feel like it." Almost convincingly. A bunch of antique glass cake stands on the dresser filled with exquisite dainties and covered with cloches would have made a sale out of me without a sweat.

But hey. I love this place and the experience, just with the beverages, was great.

I wanted to test the loos (as I always do) and was directed into the most beautiful, minute, private back yard imaginable. In it were a few more tables, nestling among yet more fernery - utterly delightful (though far too cold and wet at the moment, natch...) The loo (once I found it amongst all that greenery) was splendid - clean and bright.

They're doing some rather charming Christmas decorations at the moment, which glitter and glimmer darkly in the shop, sparklies mixing with berries - very tasteful. And as for that dresser - there may not be any cakes on glass stands but they do have boxes of posh chocolates in holly-print boxes - very pretty.

The Phantom says check it out - possibly my fave place for afternoon tea - so far. I t could even become a Phantom favourite Haunt...

Sunday Roasts

Rach asks:

Just wondering if you have any recommendations for the best place in Greenwich for a sunday roast?

The Phantom replies:

If I'm absolutely honest I haven't actually found the "ultimate" Sunday Roast in Greenwich, but opinions differ and I suspect we'll have quite a few contributions from everyone on this one...

The King William Restaurant (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/01/king-williams-restaurant.html) under The Painted Hall does a traditional Sunday Lunch, but, despite its being run by Leiths, it's not my favourite. I keep meaning to try it again, as it's a good venue and I can't help thinking that it should be better than I have found in the past.

I was in The Vanbrugh yesterday lunchtime (full review to come at some point.) Their roast is quite respectable; the meat (several options) is well-sourced and you get a good plateful. I wasn't completely wild about the potatoes - I like my spuds really crispy - but the Yorkshire pud was very good. Their Christmas menu looks appealing.

I haven't actually tested The Guildford's Sunday Roast but I have had other food from there (again - there's a review to be had soon - I'm rather behind with posting at the moment) and I've been impressed with it.

SE10 (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/10/se10.html) lists Sunday Roast with all the trimmings, but I hesitate to recommend it as I had a very ho-hum experience last time I went (I haven't tried the roast though - might actually be quite a triumph. It's that sort of place.)

I do really like The Yacht (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/01/yacht.html)- though once again I haven't actually tried their roast.

Ditto The Hill (there's a review in the Eating Out section but even I can't find it!!)

and The Ashburnham Arms (again - there's a review in the Eating Out section - you'll have to scroll down. I really need to sort this site out!!)

If you don't mind driving, Danson Stables (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/07/danson-stables.html)is very 'Sunday pub lunch-y' - combine it with a visit to Danson House http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/03/danson-house_19.html)

If you're just looking for Sunday lunch rather than a traditional roast, you could do a lot worse than Inside (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/05/inside.html)

I now await with glee everyone else chipping in with their suggestions...

Raan

O2 Dome

It's my aim to test out all the eateries at the Dome (sorry - I really can't get used to that O2 thing) though I confess some of them appeal rather more than others.

I guess, like all the restaurants in there, whether it's heaving with punters or totally empty depends on whether there's anything on at the arena. We bowled up a few nights ago and the place was like a ghost town - very weird. Some of the restaurants were closed - it just wasn't worth their opening for whoever's going to the cinema (BTW does anyone know how the cinema's doing as an entity? I went once to find out what the big screen was like, then went back to the lovely Picturehouse; I also notice that the Odeon is still getting quite full, judging from the carpark) though maybe things will change when the Ice Disco gets going (heaven help us - and yes, of COURSE I'm going to try it out...)

Raan has pride of place in what has to be the best corner of the whole "Entertainment Avenue" - right next to the entrance. Of course this means it's crazy on concert nights, but the night we went - well - let's say we got to choose where we sat. It's a posh version of North Indian food and I can't see that it's a chain, which surprises me. I checked out the usual suspects for ownership, and did quite a search for a website - if there is one, they're not admitting to it. But that's actually fantastic - a single one-off at the Dome? Good for them.

Downstairs is the bar area - all white and cool with uncomfortable-looking colourful Plexiglass bar stools and plastic rattan chairs. We were there to eat, which, I'm happy to say, is upstairs. I suspect on show-nights, that downstairs area gets a bit, ahem, sticky. It's all white-painted upstairs too with modern fittings and little circular alcoves surrounded by bead curtains made out of what looks like strings of ball-bearings. We sat right in the middle by the glass balcony overlooking the bar (it also overlooks the top of some downstairs columns, which I suspect, it never occurred to anyone that people could actually see...)

Despite its clean white air, it doesn't have that horrid clatter-y soulless feel that many modern restaurants have - in their clamour to avoid chintz and carpet, they tend to throw out cosiness too. Raan just about manages to be cool and comfy too, though they must have got those chairs in a job-lot from a Walt Disney cartoon.

But onto the food. The night we went, the staff were falling over themselves to be helpful - presumably just glad of something to do. From the open kitchen the chefs waved at us - always a good sign, IMHO.

It's not a huge menu - but I approve of that - I'd far rather a restaurant eschews Jack-of-all-tradery in favour of being master of a handful of dishes.

It's tandoori-heavy, of course, but the fare is, I'm pretty sure, quite westernised. Tandoori lamb and some stuffed potatoes were very tasty - but I preferred the salmon cooked in the same way. The vegetable accompaniments were nicely executed. I was a bit surprised to see they don't do rice at all. Is this a feature of Northern Indian cookery? I just don't know it well enough to be able to tell. The naans supplied instead were fine, but it all became quite bulky with the rest of the potato-heavy carbohydrates on offer - I could have enjoyed a little light rice.

The wine, served in GIGANTIC glasses, is ok - nothing to write home about but not the usual Indian restaurant tosh.

I cannot speak for a night when there's a spectacle going on in the arena. How friendly the staff would be, whether the chefs would wave at you from the kitchen and how good the food would be under pressure is not something I can tell. But as locals we don't have to ever find out - we can always choose to go on a quiet night and get treated like royalty. Oh - and if you're still looking for somewhere to hold a Christmas party , there's a little curved private dining room around the corner - might be worth an enquiry.

The Phantom says check it out...

The Royal Standard, or Who Kidnapped the Cuckoo?

Vanbrugh Park, SE3

Stuart reminded me over a month ago that the Royal Standard pub has been refurbished (again) and I actually checked it out myself over two weeks ago, such is the backlog of things I need to write about here. I don't quite know how the more I write, the more intresting things there seem to be to write about. Perhaps these things have always been there - I just never saw it all before...

Stuart thinks that it's a "great success, no pool tables, leather sofas, nice toilets, low volume/ silent sport and the clientele seems to have improved" and I'm inclined to agree on the whole. The entrance is very swanky now, with its cleaned-up pillars and chequerboard tiles, flanked by bay trees. It looks inviting from the outside - though of course that could have been something to do with the filthy night I went, where the rain lashed against me as I battled my way there and hell, The Old Friends would have looked appealing. No. That's not fair. It does look great.

Inside, there are plenty of squashy armchairs and funky bench seats with hip coffee tables (one's made out of what looks like an entire tree root) and modern pendant lights. There are very definite 'sections' which makes this large pub not look too cavernous. Some areas are cosier than others - the section near the garden where even on the night I went a couple of brave souls shivered outside with their fags - is full of newspapers and sofas; others have sit-up-tables and at the far end a strange long 'bar' with stools acts as a break from a long table where a large party sat the night we went, observed by the glassy eye of a stuffed stag's head.

We sat underneath a post-modern cuckoo clock, in a corner that though very comfy and sofa-esque, felt ever-so-slightly too bright under the halogen spotlights. Some of them weren't working, already hanging from their sockets; it must be like the Blackpool Illuminations when they're all on.

But enough of the decor, and onto the fare. The drinks are about average for the area - £ 2.60 for bitter, around four quid for a glass of ok-ish wine (out of a bottle, I'm relieved to report - I went into a pub in Hampstead, no less, the other day and discovered "red" and "white" wine on tap...)

The food is alright - but I wouldn't go any further than that. Stuart had the roast and tells me

"I'm afraid it was disappointing as the veg was boiled within an inch of its life and there were no roast pots (criminal!) but apparently they had been let down by their suppliers (I saw the chef coming in with bags from M&S!). Rest of the party had bangers and mash and burger in a gastropub style (meat comes from Sparkes apparently...) other customers said it was good the day before (oh, that old one - TGP) and the staff were very responsive to my complaint.

We were there in the evening. I had hoped they'd still do pizza - it was one of the things about the last refurb that I had enjoyed - but it's all gone gastropub now. It wasn't all fabulous value for money - £ 2 for a grand total of six onion rings seems a bit steep to me.

The Thai Chicken Curry was pleasant enough - albeit with a sauce that tasted as though it had come out of a jar (perhaps they'd nipped over to M&S that night too.) It came with a single, giant prawn cracker. Is that hip? I don't know - I'm just asking. The assembly-line cookery continued with my seared salmon which, if it had been covered with sauce, would have become one of the other options on the menu. It tasted absolutely fine, even if it was accompanied by what was clearly the potatoes left over from the roast at lunchtime, coated in creme fraiche.

The food isn't bad here. It's just not wildly exciting. Stuart reminds me that they do wi-fi and fairtrade coffee, which would make it a good place to visit during the day for people with laptops and time on their hands.

The cuckoo clock above us suddenly went absolutely berserk, striking again and again. Heaven knows what time it was. I'm still not sure whether someone had half-inched the cuckoo and it was mourning its loss, or whether the pub is too cool these days to actually have a little plastic bird pop out of a silhouette clock.

Go try it out and see what you think. It's not going to give The Narrow a run for its money but I understand that the chain that's bought it (http://www.orchidpubs.co.uk/) intends to chuck money at it - and that can't be a bad thing...

George II

Alex says:

I know that you are a very busy Phantom but please try to review George II in the covered market, it is on the site of what used to be a perfectly good, slightly greasy spoon cafe with tables outside. We went there for coffee yesterday and had to wait ages to be served, no table service, from staff who had so obviously had a row it was comical. She glared at him, he rolled his eyes at her at one stage we thought they were going to come to blows.

All the tables had dirty stains on them as all the coffee is served in mugs, spoons with coffee on them are left on the tables hence the stains - not once did we see a cloth when the tables were cleared. As it is half term there were lots of mums and kids and without exception everyone that ordered baked potatoes in their jackets returned them as they were not cooked (microwaved) in the middle.

The coffee was fine, although it would have been nice if either of the fighting staff had smiled - at least once; we stayed for two cups as we were having such fun watching the rows.

The Phantom Replies:

I have tried to review George II twice but each time have been so put off by the massive queues, the chaotic atmosphere and the unexciting-looking fare that I've just turned round and walked out again. I didn't see any staff at all - let alone rowing ones.

If you've been a reader for long you will know that The Meeting House used to be listed as one of my favourite haunts - for just plain good value, good food. Your visit just adds to my fears.

Perhaps Greenwich Inc are spreading themselves a little too thin here. Contrary to popular belief, I am not actually anti-Greenwich Inc. In some places they do very well - inside the O2, for example, they take on the big multinationals at their own game and don't come off badly at all. If we've got to have a chain at least it's a local chain and I congratulate them on having a go in a Dome that could have all been major conglomerates.

I notice they also have a licence application for the eaterie in the new apartment building on the Thames Path next door to the power station. Seems to me that no other bugger would touch it in over a year and Greenwich Inc have at least got the guts to go for it. But some of their outlets just seem like a cash-in, and, by the sound of it, at George II quality is being sacrificed for profit.

I am very sad to hear about the jacket potatoes - it was the spuds that used to bring me back again and again to The Meeting House. Microwaved? Yeuch. Not even cooked? Double yeuch.

It does at least sound as though you enjoyed the experience in a manner of speaking - sometimes a place is so terrible that it stops being a cafe and starts being theatre.

Trouble is, that as with so many eateries in central Greenwich, George II does not have to convince us locals to return. There is a steady flow of one-off tourists who will not be expected to tell their friends or create any kind of buzz to keep the pounds rolling in (I will be interested to see what happens in the new place by the power station - fewer tourists will mean Greenwich Inc have to appeal to locals - hopefully we will see something new and exciting there - and I will be the first to trumpet it if we get something really good...)

I will try to brave George II one day soon - but they don't need my - or your - custom and I cannot think that they will care what I, or anyone else has to say. It's a shame that The Meeting House closed, but it's even more of a shame if what has replaced it is a shadow of its former greasy glory. Greenwich already has a dodgy reputation for food. This is not going to improve that reputation.

Has anyone else been there yet?

Peter de Wits Breakfast/Lunch

Something that always puzzles me about Sundays in Greenwich is that while the market and surrounding shops, the park and - well - practically everywhere else in the town is heaving, Peter de Wits is nearly always virtually empty whenever I walk in for brunch.

Maybe the tourists just walk past - it's small and perhaps unexciting-looking from the front and perhaps the (very slightly - we're not talking Las Vegas here) flashier-from-the-front-but-a-bad-idea-once-you-get-inside sandwich shop next door looks more inviting. PdW's, after all, has plain white walls and simple-looking tables where the sandwich shop has cakes in the window (don't bother trying them - they promise an AWFUL lot more than they deliver) but this is one case where looks alone are deceiving.

I have always had a soft spot for Peter de Wits anyway. Any cafe that's only got about eight tables that still manages to present live jazz two nights a week (and not just local music students - proper names) deserves a bit of respect. But I actually enjoy their food. It's a simple menu, that doesn't try to overstep the size of the kitchen - on Sunday I had a slice of the special quiche - all home-made and very enjoyable and the very fact that the tourists seem to pass the place by often means I can take my paper in there and enjoy a cup of coffee and a simple lunch virtually undisturbed. The staff are always friendly (as opposed to next door) and the prices, though not bog-low, are fair.

It's particularly lovely in the summer, when they open up the back and there are a couple of ancient tables surrounded by pots of whippy greenery next to the loos (much nicer than it sounds.) I am always slightly surprised when I can get a seat out there as it's such a sweet little secret corner in the very centre of town, but I've never been disappointed yet. Just the place to dissect a Sunday paper and its never-ending supplements...

Peter deWits has undecipherable opening hours. I often try to go there and it's shut. I have to make do with the Organic Cafe opposite which is nice enough, and reliable, but not as fun as PdW (try reading the paper next to the loos there you won't be popular - there's often a queue and it's next door to the kiddies' play area...) You just have to accept that PdW's seems to open on a whim and enjoy it when you strike lucky...

SE10

Thames St, SE10

It had been a LONG time since I'd visited SE10. I had enjoyed it the first time but I wanted to check it out again before writing a review as things can change. And sadly, in some respects, they have here.

It's still a lovely little local restaurant - cosy bar at the front with squashy armchairs and low lights, Johnny Cash on the sound system (not too loud) and clearly populated with locals. To the rear is the restaurant area - comfy and simple in yellows and reds, with a small patio at the back. I get the feeling it's a better restaurant in winter to summer - the colours and snugness make me think that Christmas would be a good time to go. As it was, the night we visited just three tables were occupied.

The staff seem friendly enough, but this place does not have the excited air of somewhere they truly want to be. The bread brought to the table was, frankly, mingy - both in flavour and portion size - a strange economy given bread is so cheap. The menu felt a bit tired - with oddly unoriginal dishes that look as though they have been put on because they're dead certs rather than cutting-edge.

The first courses were well-executed enough, though. The chicken was crispy and enjoyable; the goat's cheese and caramelised onion tart (the ubiquitous vegetarian option - is there a restaurant in the country that doesn't do this dish?) had fine pastry and ate well.

But this was a meal that outstayed its welcome, and the longer we stayed, the less we enjoyed the experience. The liver of the main course started out extremely well - but the gravy - well, it was either ultra-reduced or actually was gravy granules. The risotto' s aroma was so astonishing we had to take a second sniff just to be sure. Yes. It really did smell exactly like damp, musty old groundsheets, and while being taken back to your childhood is often a good thing in food, scout and guide camp in the rain is possibly not one of the best trips down memory lane. Sadly it also tasted similar and didn't get anywhere near finished. We didn't fancy a pud.

Did we just have a bad night, or has this restaurant gone downhill? I remembered SE10 as being really good but this latest experience is not going to be repeated until I hear it's vastly improved...

http://www.se10.info/

Meeting House Misery

I thought I'd written about this - but it appears I hadn't.

I was miserable enough to find that The Meeting House had closed. But the warnings that one of you (Sorry - I can't remember which of you was the harbinger of doom) gave me that it was to be yet another Greenwich Inc eaterie is sadly all too true. Goodbye, wonderful platesful of good, simple food served both cheaply and pleasantly, hello - well - exactly the same stuff as you can get from anywhere else Greenwich Inc owns - which now includes all four corners of the market as well as the Meeting House. There aren't that many units left...

The builder standing outside with a coffee commiserated with me - he too will miss the old cafe - and told me that it will be a trendy coffee bar by day, a trendy wine bar by night.

Nuff said.

Efe's Meze

Trafalgar Road

I have been meaning to try this place for ages and never got round to it, so was delighted when some friends suggested we went there for a group meal. Situated almost next door to Mr Chung, Efe's Meze has a similar clientele - a loyal local audience who have their own particular favourite dishes. Being on Trafalgar Road means virtually no tourists, of course.

It goes back a lot further than I had expected it to and has a pleasingly dark atmosphere, lit with little coloured glass lanterns that remind me of trips to Turkey, and decorated with straggly strands of Devils Ivy. To be honest it's ever so slightly scruffy - but I rather like scruffy sometimes and had no real problem with it. Of course this means there's absolutely nothing posh about it - this is not 'art food' - just your usual Turkish-type dishes that really do bring back holiday memories (well, for me, at least.)

As you walk in there is a guy grilling all sorts of things from fish to lamb over hot coals, which, if nothing else adds to the atmosphere -and heat. It has the added bonus (for them) of making you feel instantly hungry.

If anything I thought there might be one or two too many dishes on the menu - I always worry when there are so many options, that the restaurants will turn out to be jacks of all trades; masters of none, but a closer inspection did have a lot of basics with slight variations - and that's fine. Naturally, the best way to enjoy meze dishes like that is to order a selection and share, and that's exactly what we did for the first course. The squeaky cheese (sorry, haloumi) was grilled to perfection and the dolmi were good and tight, though I packed away more of the stuffed aubergines than anything else (being a particular fan of eggplant.) The taramasalata was a little violent in colour for my liking - a bright pink that reminded me of Gregg's Bakery Swiss buns, but it tasted fine. There was a livery-offally dish too, but it's not my cup of tea so I didn't try it. I'm told it was lovely.

The mains were also good. No surprises in the dishes - just bog-standard Turkish food - but no big deal with that - it was perfectly acceptable food - though admittedly 'local' restaurant fare rather than destination stuff...

The wine isn't great. It's not as totally undrinkable as some I tasted in Tas recently, but considering that there are some decent Turkish wines around, they could have made a bit more effort.

In an interesting little quirk, I am told that when you turn on the driers in the Gents, the lights dim...

Ginza

Woolwich Road, SE10

Good news, folks. I may have found a really decent local restaurant in Woolwich Road. Sounds unlikely? I know. I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself, but all the first signs of this new Japanese restaurant are extremely promising.

We've been watching the site of the old working men's club for sometime now, and I have to confess I didn't have great expectations for it, expecting yet another dodgy takeaway to compliment the array of average eateries already cluttering that part of Greenwich. I didn't even have much hope when I saw it was going to be Japanese food - I was just expecting the kind of substandard noodle bars we have in the centre.

But as we went past on Saturday night we noticed that, without any pre-publicity at all, it was suddenly open. I'm glad we went in as we were not only their first - but their only customers all evening. Hopefully I can change that in the future by telling you it was one of the best meals of any kind I have had for some time, and highly recommending it as a new local restaurant that isn't trying to pander to the cheap tourist pound.

It's simply decorated - dark wood bench seats and plain walls with wooden lattice-work lamps on the walls. The downlighters in the ceiling were a little too bright for my taste; I would have preferred it a little more 'atmospheric' (read 'dark') and the music was also a bit on the bright side (jolly Japanese pop music) but frankly this is nit-picking when there is such good food being served. They've spent some cash on getting printed paper placemats and chopstick cases, but on the whole they've gone for a traditional feel rather than 'funky.' There's no tatami room (unless it's upstairs and I didn't notice it) and no kneeling down - all the seats are normal western style, and although there are a couple of traditional dolls, scrolls and a lucky cat, it's all very tasteful.

Don't be put off by the photographic menu - it's normal in all but the very poshest restaurants in Japan and although in Britain it usually denotes that the customers they're trying to attract can't actually read, in this particular case they're just in keeping with modern Japanese tradition.

The full menu isn't 'on' yet, but what they are serving just now is still quite wide choice-wise and presumably when they have more than a handful of guests they'll open it out fully. We didn't know what to choose so we just got a selection - which meant we horribly over-ordered but, well, what a way to go. I can't remember if they actually do any noodle dishes - but if they do, it is not the main thrust of the restaurant. This is the Real McCoy - and very wonderful it is too.

We started out with some of those lovely rice rolls - I particularly recommend the "California Rolls" which have crab and roe in them, but there are several to choose from. There is a wide selection of sashimi too, which reminds me - if you're a vegetarian you will be able to eat, but the choice will be more limited.

As each of the dishes arrived, they seemed to become more exquisite - next, there was a giant stone bowl heated to volcanic levels containing various rice/veg meats and a raw egg. You're supplied with wooden utensils which you use to mix it all up - it sizzles and cooks as you do it. A bowl of soup containing rice and flakes of baked salmon was very yummy, though once you got down to the basic broth it was slightly less exiting. Not to worry - the pumpkin and sweet potato tempura had just arrived.

By this point we were slowing down considerably. Sadly the dishes weren't. They haven't got their licence yet, so the Asahi beer, plum wine and saki (and a rather dull selection of western wines - an opportunity for Theatre of Wine, methinks) will have to wait. Instead we had a very strange milkshakey sort of thing made with green tea, skimmed milk and fruit, with gooey bits of tapioca in the bottom a bit like raisins. We had the melon and mango varieties - my personal favourite was the melon, but both were very drinkable - if the bits of tapioca kept getting stuck up the straw, which comes with a little spoon on the end to fish them our with.

Just when we really thought it was all over, the grilled mackerel arrived - so beautifully cooked I almost wept that I couldn't finish it.

The service was understandably excited and attentive - it was, after all, their first night. Hardly any English spoken, bless them - the lady in charge spoke a little more than most of the staff, but still not much - but the welcome radiated past mere language.

Can this kind of service and quality last in East Greenwich? I can only hope so. At the moment it is probably my favourite restaurant in the area - but this comes with the small caveat that it was the first day of opening and if they can't get it right on the first day there is no hope...

For that reason I am not designating it a Favourite Haunt - yet. I'll just have to go back a few times just to make sure the food stays as fantastic as it is right now...

They will be doing takeaway - though the menu isn't printed yet. I recommend you go very quickly - not least because there's an opening discount of 10 percent on eat-in, 20 percent for takeaway just now. And yes, of course, this is entirely selfish. I want this restaurant to be a success so I can continue to eat there for years to come.

La Cucina di Soteri

Nelson Road, SE10

This is a classic example of a place that promises slightly more than it delivers, IMHO. It looks fantastic - perched on the corner of the road opposite Nauticalia and Dreadnought Library and painted a jaunty yellow, this family-run Italian really looks the business.

I always get just a little excited when I go in - and yes, I do go in on a reasonably regular basis (given that trying to test out all the eateries in Greenwich doesn't allow much in the way of return visits save for the excellent Kum Laung.) The welcome is always friendly, the interior bright, modern and promising in bright shades of yellow and blue, the menu also quite interesting, usually with a special that actually changes.

And the dishes are quite good. The pasta's fine and the pizza is freshly made and not bad. But in my humble opinion, that's all it is. It isn't fantastic, which it really could be. Obviously it's better than somewhere like Pizza Luna, the worst pizza I have ever eaten, but this is a family-run Italian restaurant - the pizza should be amazing, not just not bad. There is something truly wonderful about a superbly-made pizza, however simple the topping - that skinny-thin, slightly bubbly, unevenly-shaped dough, covered with truly tomatoey, well-made sauce (guess who's on a diet just now and can't have any) and baked to perfection. Sadly, La Cucina's version just doesn't do it for me - it's almost there - but not quite.

One thing that La Cucina is good for is group meals - something at which they excel - and virtually every time I've ever been in there it's been full of parties - birthday, work and anniversary-style. Everybody always seems to be having a good time and there is plenty of bonhomie from the staff and space for such occasions (including an inexplicably large empty space downstairs where the loos are.) For that reason it's not really the best place for intimate diner-a-deux.

I will keep going to La Cucina di Soteri - it's good for pre-cinema visits and lunchtimes - but I really wish they'd up their game on the food. Just a little more effort and they could be stunning. Sadly a cry that could apply to so many eateries in Greenwich...

Danson Stables

Have you ever had one of those Sundays where you're desperate to "go out" but don't have any real set plans? You know there are good places out there that you still haven't visited yet, but somehow the weather's not that great, your energy's not that high and besides - you're hungry?

That was us last weekend. I like to go out and do stuff but I'm not always quite as wired and targetted as I could be. "Let's go and find a nice country pub we've not already been to," we said, and set off with no plan at all in our heads.

This is always a bad thing. With theoretically all the time in the world, I reject places on the stupidest grounds. One pub is too noisy-looking, another is too rural. The next is too urban; I don't care for the windows-or the hanging baskets-or the 4x4s- or the local herberts in another. "But do they do food?" I whine about the next, "Yes, but it's family fun day" about the next (something I avoid at all costs.) And the weird thing is that the hungrier I get, the more pointlessly fussy I become.

We drove round and round - pretty much literally in circles until we had virtually decided to just come back to Greenwich or Blackheath, when it occurred to us to try the pub at Danson House

Danson Stables are just that - the old stable block, built just after 1800 from the remains of one of the wings of the house which had been demolished, all set in Capability Brown gardens - turned into a really not-bad-at-all pub. It's kept the compartmentalised feel - there are lots of different rooms so that it feels quite nice and cosy - it's a nice balance between bright and modern and traditional homely and a pleasant way to spend a lunchtime.

I get the feeling that this used to be a chain - there is something 'corporate' about the signage - but there is absolutely no indication of any kind of name, so I'm wondering whether it has been taken back into private ownership, just keeping the signs. A website I found said it was Bass, but it seemed out of date and I can't find anything about it anywhere else. I asked a waitress and she didn't know - a sure sign that there isn't any big corporate owner, I'd have said.

The food is predictable pub grub, but no less enjoyable for it. The portions are large - almost too large - and generally well-cooked. The gammon steak was huge and came with so much veg you couldn't see the plate. I suspect that my linguine had been made several hours beforehand and was the scrapings out of the the bottom of the pan - crispy and oily, but actually I confess I really enjoyed it - even the scrapy-bits. I felt sort of guilty for this since it was all the naughty oily cheesy sundried tomatoey bits and I should have complained - Gordon Ramsay would have had quite a lot to say about it - but frankly however 'old' it was, it was actually very yummy. So I have no taste. Shoot me.

There was music but it wasn't overbearing, the service was friendly and the beer not bad. Generally all good things.

As luck would have it there WAS a family fun day going on in the grounds of Danson House, but the pub itself was large enough to cope and despite there being lots of families it didn't encroach on us adult drinkers and the balance worked very well. The sheer number of people who had chosen to bring the kids indicates that the child portions are a hit.

I'd say this isn't a bad place to while away a Sunday lunchtime - just avoid the linguine if you don't get off on pan-scrapings. Me? I'd have exactly the same thing again...

Pavilion Tea House

Greenwich Park

There is always something a bit "corporate" about tea houses in parks - whether council-run or, as in this case, by Royal Parks. And within that format you're never really going to get anything truly cosy and unique, but within its limited remit, The Pavilion Tea House up by the Observatory does pretty well.

It helps that it's not only got a great situation - right at the top of the hill, within designated grounds of its own which can afford fantastic views from between the gaps in pretty, leafy shrubbery, but also a sweet, traditional building that feels very 'park-like.' I can't find out how old it is, but I'm guessing the early years of the 20th Century or maybe 1920s (does anyone know?) It's very pretty and inviting.

Inside it's bright and light and clean, and having been made 'accessible' has nice wide aisles easy to manoeuvre around on all but the busiest days. There aren't that many seats inside - presumably they're working on most people only going to the park on good days; I suppose with a historic building they don't have much of an option anyway. The service is friendly.

They make an effort in sourcing the food they sell - fair trade and organic where possible (it gets double points for serving the fabulous Union Coffee Roasters coffee.)I've not tried the premises-cooked food, which I guess I should, as its clearly where all the effort goes in. The menus seem interesting - maybe someone here can comment upon it; I have only ever had the tea/coffee and buns.

There's ye olde tea-bag-in-a-mug problem, of which I disapprove - how hard is it to supply a few teapots - and on my most recent visit, there was only one kind of milk at the serve-yourself milk and sugar table. The buns are bog-standard - chocolate fudge/scones/rock cakes and the usual Burts crisps. Nothing to complain about, nothing to get excited about, but a general all-round ok option in the middle of the park.

It's recently been re-landscaped and it's got a much bigger garden now, surrounded by chestnut trees, yew hedges and big tubs of splendidly blousy blooms. The tables are solid and come with big parasols (handy, given the weather we have just now) and plenty of opportunistic birdlife.