Okay, so this one definitely counts as ‘not quite Greenwich’ but hey – it’s a secret little gem that even people who live in Rotherhithe don’t tend to know about. And given that it’s so close to Canada Water and Rotherhithe stations, and that it’s  on the 188 bus route, there’s really no excuse not to check it out if you are of the obscure-cinema persuasion…

The Sands are the cutest film studios in the world. Housed in a fabulous old warehouse full of low timber beams and quirky corners, everything is done with love. If anyone remembers Polka Children’s Theatre in the late 1980s before its ‘makeover’, it reminds me of that. It has teeny-tiny sound stages good for intimate scenes. The producers of films like The Tales of Beatrix Potter, Pride & Prejudice, The Other Boleyn Girl, The Young Victoria and Bright Star have all beaten a path to these exquisite facilities, not least for their other USP, their extraordinary costumes.

Most theatrical costumes are made up of junk when you look at them closely – bits of silver spray-painted spaghetti or ring-pulls off coke cans have been ‘jewels’ on royal gowns, rich ‘embroidery’ on Regency waistcoats painted on with an airbrush.

None of that nonsense at the Sands. Here, the costumes are as gorgeous close up as they are from a distance. You can usually catch a sneaky of whatever’s being created by their specialist embroiderer, or even see them at work if you visit yet another of their lovely facilities, the extensive Rotherhithe Picture and Research Library, which is on the ground floor, and which is free to visit on weekdays between 10.00am and 4.00pm. The collection covers all sorts of things from Victorian boots to ancient bridges. There’s an excellent selection of local history archives.

But onto the subject of today’s post. The Sands Cinema Club, run by Olivier Stockman, and clearly his baby. You join a mailing list and then every week, Olivier tells you which film he’ll be showing then next Tuesday night.

Now these films are Obscure (note the use of the upper case here.) The films Stockman chooses are usually themed – a series of world films from 1927, for example, or, starting next week, Italian movies from 1970. It’s often the only chance you’ll get to see these films. Hell – it’s usually the only time I’ve even heard of them.

If you decide to go to a screening, you drop Olivier an email (you really do have to do this – he has 900 people on the list and the place seats 30 at most ) and then just turn up.

When you get there, you often get offered a mug of tea in the cheerfully gingham kitchen before  being ushered upstairs to the screening room.

Now, I’m sure you have an image of a screening room in your mind. Some chrome and plush contemporary ‘space’ just off Wardour Street where meedja types discuss the latest rushes of films that, inexplicably green-lit, will never see the darkness of an actual release short of the bargain bin in Blockbuster. You need to lose that image.

Think more of your Auntie Joan’s living room. A fabulous, low-lit, cosy venue, stuffed full with old sofas, mis-matched armchairs and a rather splendid 1950s cabinet. I have an image of a chintz table lamp in my mind, but that may just be fantasy.

Snuggle down into your own personal sofa, and listen to Olivier introduce the film. This is a man with passion in his heart and he has personally chosen these movies because he wants to see them – he’s just invited a few friends round to share them with him – and he’s keen to tell you exactly why he’s picked them.

After the film Olivier also likes to chat about what you’ve just seen, so don’t expect a quick get away – but then that’s all part of the Sands cinema experience. It’s a rounded evening, and Stockman’s enthusiastic intros and outros are part of the enjoyment.

The best part about all of this is that it’s free. Of course it would be churlish not to leave a little something in the film cannister outside afterwards as a contribution towards the hire of the next cinematic delight. People generally leave, as far as I can tell, between two or three quid and a tenner.

This is what being a Londoner is all about. Stuff like this exists all over and we just don’t know about it. The joy of living here is the discovery of gems like the Sands Cinema Club.

For a short street, Park Row manages to pack in a lot of history. Probably because it skirts the park (natch) it still has curious buildings – from the fab Plume of Feathers to the very very curious jumble of periods and styles that house what I believe to be the oldest building in Greenwich and the vicarage.

With ancient buildings come strange decorations, and Park Row has its fair share of them – not all of which are particularly old.

Take the splendid fellow above, for example – when Benedict sent him to me, I had never actually spotted him before, my head always turning away from the – what – 1980s? – flats and towards the more intriguing, dark and mysterious Dwarf Orchard. There’s something very deco-y about it – but I have no idea what on earth inspired a plaque with an Ancient Greek warrior in Park Row. Any clues?

Talking of that mysterious orchard, our Ancient Greek soldier has a sort of mythological friend opposite him, albeit ‘Roman.’ Or is he Celtic? My money would be on the Roman god Neptune, as he looks to date from the same sort of time as the Royal Naval College – mid-late Victorian? (I don’t actually know, of course…) but I guess the whole park/foresty/conduity thing might imply a Green Man.

I’ve seen pictures of this guy (or someone who looks very much like him) peddled on the net as being the one down in Jack Cades Cavern – it’s said there is a carving of a head down there – though given the place hasn’t been opened for about 60 years, I’m doubtful the photo’s actually of this chap’s twin. Surely any pictures taken from the cavern would be somehow more ‘official?’ I’m guessing that this head is the one in the pictures.

Moving on, we come to the extraordinary collection of buildings and periods that is the vicarage (is it all the vicarage? I’m sure someone can tell me…) Sorry about the rubbish pics from now on, btw – anyone who knows me will tell you my photography ain’t gonna win any prizes…

There are two curious items on here. The first is truly glorious, and, according to my New Best Friend, the Rev. L’Estrange, dates back to Henry VII (whose chapel was uncovered a couple of years back, looked at by a few archaeologists before being turned into a car park; I’m still smarting from that one…) It’s a fabulous coat of arms, clearly from A Long Time Ago^TM.

The good reverend doesn’t know who lived in this little Tudor house – and nor, frankly, do I, though we both have different theories. He suggests that it was either the house of the Master of the Horse, because it’s so close to the old tiltyard, or that it was the cook’s gaff.

I’ve heard (and, annoyingly, I can’t remember where) that this was a conduit house that received the water from all the pipes in the park. A much less romantic notion, of course, so let’s go with the Master-of-the-Horse suggestion. History is not always about reality…

The Reverend L’E. seems to think this plaque would have originally have been over the main gate to the palace. Apparently when he was writing his history of Greenwich in 1886, the carving had only just been revealed – the current vicar (the Rev. Brooke Lambert) cut that rather fetching curve in the outer wall so people could see it. What a kind chap.

There’s one other little decoration which is also fun. The carved floral wreath on the wall to the right as you look at the building. It was discovered in one of the cellars of the vicarage and (presumably by the same vicar who cut a hole in the wall) displayed for all to enjoy. My NBF tells me it’s Elizabethan.

Funny – since I decided to write about how rubbish the NMM are about letting us know about stuff going on, I’ve received this from three different people. None of whom are actually from the museum, of course.

This Saturday and Sunday as part of the Cultural Olympiad (about which I’m not sure how I feel, but that’s a discussion for another day) the NMM will host a couple of days of free arts events and workshops. I’d normally put this on the Parish News but since it’s a bit late, it’s here.

Saturday is Behind the Scenes at the Observatory.

Sunday is the vaguely-titled “Greenwich Lives.”

Find out more about it here

Once again I have to apologise for the delay in replying to the post bag – it is, as always, wonderful to hear from you – but I’m getting a bit behind in replying. Sorry.

Matt has been telling me about Meridian Speakers – a local group I like the look of. They’re a bunch of people who get together every other week to try to get better at public speaking.

He tells me:

“We’ve got a pretty diverse membership which includes people who are downright scared of speaking in public and are trying to boost their confidence, through to quite accomplished speakers (often people start off as the former and become the latter!)”

They meet upstairs at the Spanish Galleon pub and they look like they’re fun. I guess you could just learn to give better presentations at work (yawn) but they look like they’re something a bit more than that. I suspect some of them might end up as after-dinner speakers or even don the white tie and red jacket ensemble and become toastmasters.

They welcome guests, and tomorrow night, 23rd September, they’re having their annual “Humorous Speaking Competition” between 6.45pm and 9.00pm. No need to book, you can just turn up, though I don’t know whether it’s all-comers for the competition. Probably need to book yourself in or something. Whatever – check them out here. Oh – and did I mention it’s yet another fab FREE thing to do in Greenwich…

David passed this onto me – a series of free blue badge guide walks this week – worth a gander, don’t you think?

http://www.eastlondonguides.com/

Maze Hill, SE10

This is about half way down Maze Hill (I couldn’t see a number for all the greenery…)

Whoever lives here must spend half their life out the front – the garden is tiny – a few square feet at best -but this hasn’t prevented the owners from treating it like some kind of stately home.

On the adjoining side of the semi, well-managed trees create a frame – I’m sure there’s a eucalyptus in there, but it’s kept under tight control and adds a wispy curtain in front of a maple(?) that’s also been heavily-clipped. A date palm and cyprus give it a lush depth which only a serious plantsman would know how to create. At the centre, topiary pom-poms shoot up like a sort of mad green fountain and by the drive there are more well-clipped shrubs. The whole thing is softened by a cascade of annuals and a background of climbing roses and I love it.

It’s worth walking past this house for no other reason than its sheer exuberance. These people have not let the fact that they only have a garden the size of a (ladies) handkerchief in which to express themselves get in the way of putting on a display for passers-by that puts the owners of far bigger places to shame. Not a blade of grass is left to chance, not a leaf is out of place, not a rose left un-deadheaded. The colours are restrained, but exquisite and the whole is a country house garden in miniature. It’s a complete opposite to the fabulous cottage garden up at St Johns, Favourite Front Gardens (1) but nevertheless a brilliant gem to stumble upon.

I can only guess what the back garden is like, but in the meanwhile, how generous of the owners to give the rest of us a free show…

Moored at Greenwich as part of the Falklands War Commemorations. Whatever you think, it’s worth a look…