Folks – once again I have to apologise – I’m getting bogged down with mail and it’s taking me forever to deal with it all.

I love getting your questions, comments and hot gossip – so please – don’t stop sending it. Just don’t hold your breath for me answering it quickly.

Sorry…

I tried to contact Lady, that’s My Skull, who created this, to see if I could reproduce it here, but no joy. I can’t even seem to imbed it into a proper link. But it made me smile so do take a peek. While you’re there, have a look around – it’s one weird site…

http://www.flickr.com/photos/dlanod/601723709/

Heavens! Where did that come from? One minute I’m thinking about starting a little blog about Greenwich, the next thing I know I’m been blathering on for just over two years and a rather alarming 1000 posts…

I’ve been trying to work out what would be a good thing to do to celebrate being 1000 (or commiserate with myself for no longer having a life…) and, alongside vowing to get out more, I’ve decided to add a page to the blog. The pair of which may turn out to be mutually exclusive…

I often get asked where I find information about Greenwich – where to find resources, out-of-print books/maps etc. The bottom line is that it’s legwork – but I thought I’d try to cut out some of that legwork for you by giving you a lowdown on what’s on the Phantom Bookshelf – what’s out there and where to find it. (Hint for tomorrow – take a trip to the Amnesty International Booksale that Ros has just reminded me about…)

You’ll currently find the page here, but when a moment appears in The Phantom Webmaster’s stupidly busy schedule (which includes celebratory dinner for me tonight, tee, hee…) there will be a direct link from the front page.

This project is going to take me months, I’m afraid. I’ve been working on it for some time now, and I’m only about a third of the way through the stuff I own, let alone the stuff I know about. So if you’re interested in that sort of thing, keep checking it regularly – I will add to it as I go along. There are several sections, but each one is in alphabetical order by author.

But I’m not doing any more cataloguing for today. Today, I’m scoffing my 1000th Postday-Cake courtesy of Daisy Bakes, getting ready to celebrate chez Phantom Webmaster tonight – and raising a glass of Theatre of Wine champagne to all of you lovely folk who join me every day on my murky trips through this fantastic town.

Cheers!

Guys – I’m feeling very guilty this morning.

I, too, received one of those purple leaflets through my door on Friday evening, advertising a ‘clearance sale’ yesterday evening. I even considered writing a piece warning against even thinking about going – but assumed that it’s such a regular scam everyone must know about it by now. Sadly, a reader did get got. I’m going to keep them anonymous as they must be feeling a bit silly today, but it doesn’t stop this being a part of ‘old’ Greenwich that I could happily lose.

I can’t put it any better than our friend themselves, so here’s their experience:

“Last night I received a leaflet through the door for a special sale at the King William Pub on Trafalgar Road, the flyer went on to say the goods were ex-catalogue and you could pick up things like the IPOD Nano for £20 a Nintendo Wii for £30 Laptops for £50 etc.

Stupid as I am and seeing a bargain (I’ve previously purchased ex-cat and know the sort of discounts available – google “gem discounts” if you don’t believe me!) I turned up paid a £2 entry along with around 80 others. The guys claimed it was the third and final sale of the day (despite only one time being advertised) they claimed that it was a promotional gig in preparation for next Saturday where a far larger sale will occur (at the Holiday Inn Express in Greenwich).

Just to warn you that not one sale occurred; the con-men kept promising people a bag of electrical goods however they kept taking cash from everyone to prove you were a serious bidder. Any goods received turned out to be empty boxes boxes of cheap gifts like perfume you could buy for £5 off the Internet (despite being told about laptops etc). Would you please warn people not to be fooled by this con, and not to go to any similar sale if a flyer comes through their door.”

Yes, Dear Anon, I’m shutting the stable door after this particular ringer-horse has bolted, but with a caveat for next time.

This kind of ’sale’ happens about once every six months or so. Everyone in East Greenwich gets a glossy leaflet through their door – usually in a colour that just screams ‘dodgy,’ (purple this time) just after the doors of the local Trading Standards Office are shut for the weekend, advertising goods at prices that are – well, unbelievable, actually. That’s because they are.

Let me tell you now. You will NEVER get a legitimate ipod for twenty quid. You just won’t. Nor will a Nintendo Wii fly into your shopping basket for thirty notes or a Corby trouser press ever flatten your trews for £12.99.

Phrases to look out for:

1) “No admittance 10 minutes after doors open ‘for security reasons.’ What will they be, then? That these creeps might get nicked, of course. We spent some time around the breakfast table yesterday morning, trying to work out exactly what real security reasons might be for not allowing punters in after 10 mins. Anyone who can supply one of those is a brighter spark than me.

2) “Cash payments only due to fast turnover.” HONNNNNNNK! That’s my alarm horn going into overdrive. Cash payments are due to their intention to do a runner about twenty minutes into the operation, nothing to do with turnover.

3)”All goods perfect unless stated.” “All goods guaranteed.” Yeah, right. And to prove it, they will be there in person, at the King William IV Hotel, next week, to reimburse any faulty goods. Folks – this is a purple leaflet shoved through your door. They are lying.

4) “Please note this is not an official Argos, Index or Freemans sale.” Ok – so they’re not lying on that one.

5) Sale to be held at the King William IV Hotel (shrugs helplessly.) What I don’t get is why the police don’t just insist the Guv’nor tells them who hires this place on a regular basis – or force him to tip them off next time. It’s the sort of thing they do on the telly. But then maybe I believe the telly too much…

I am sincerely sorry that you got ripped off, Anon (and feeling suitably guilty of not warning the world. Trust me, I will next time.) It’s a well-known scam – but clearly not well known enough. Please. Don’t believe everything that comes through your door. No – not even Sister Angelina, the medium with 98% accuracy or Professor Manjou whose accuracy is an amazing 100%.

Guys – if any of you are Blogger users, can you tell me why when I put in HTML links to other sites, Blogger automatically adds its own site to the address, rendering it useless?

It’s driving me (and the people who try to use the links) mad…

I’ve just had a couple of people thinking that my RSS has gone mad, but I have to confess that it’s totally my fault here, this time, not Blogger (for once.) It goes like this:

I started writing the Greenwich CTT piece (below) a couple of weeks ago, but halfway through, Blogger stopped letting me upload pictures. So I stuck it into my drafts section and didn’t get around to coming back to it untill just now. I finished writing and uploading the pics and hit “post” about 15 mins ago – trouble was, I hadn’t changed the date on it, and it appeared in the middle of two-weeks-ago’s posts, promting a rather odd RSS feed. So I reposted, having changed the date. Cue another RSS feed. And a few moans from RSS users…

Sorry folks. I always forget that you have to see my mistakes. For heaven’s sake don’t plough through that lot twice!

A little housekeeping note here, folks. I’ve been talking with various people recently who have admitted that they sign themselves ‘Anonymous’ not because they particularly want to be unknown, but because there doesn’t seem to be another option outside joining Blogger.

I thought I’d just point out there is another option – the Name/URL button. Now I know this implies that you need to put a website there, but you don’t. If you click that button you can use any name you like (and I don’t care how ridiculous the name you choose is…the funnier the better, IMHO) and leave the URL space blank.

Or you can stay anonymous. It’s me, really. I just like to know who I’m speaking with – even if it’s only nicknames. It makes me feel all warm inside…

Folks, you may have noticed I didn’t post this weekend. There is a reason for that.

Some friends who have my well being at heart began to quietly mention that perhaps my topics of conversation were becoming – well, a bit one-dimensional. Whatever subject they happened to be talking about, I would pipe up with “That’s interesting. You know in Greenwich they’ve got a…” or “Back in 1786 there was a guy in Greenwich who…” or “I know a firm in Greenwich that does that…”

It started innocently enough. A livejournal account that I’d update on an occasional basis. I never thought I’d actually get replies – I intended to just burble to the ether. I didn’t inhale.

It’s easy to slip though.

I told them I could give up any time I wanted. I hardly noticed that my bedside table was beginning to become covered in the kind of paraphernalia only associated with hardcore usage. Obscure volumes about Greenwich. Lecture notes from 80 year-old talks about Greenwich. Co-ordinates for long-lost Greenwich plaques. My diary had been bowdlerised to take in Greenwich events. My idea of getting away from it all was looking at various Greenwich’s around the world as possible holiday destinations.

There was nothing for it. I had to go cold turkey. Just for one weekend. To prove that I really could give it up if I wanted to. The computer didn’t go on at all on Saturday. On Sunday it only went on to yield the address (in Hackney) of a party.

I can do it. If I want to. But I don’t.

So now I’m mainlining again. Greenwich should be reclassified.

Folks, I’m happy to announce the arrival of several bouncing new pages on the blog. The wonderful Phantom Webmaster has now linked them all up and given the front page a nice new (and possibly familiar) Phantom Image, all ready for Spring.

There are five new pages:

1)An annotated links section – non-exhaustive – I don’t list every site I like or use. I’ll get round to it at some point.

2) FAQs – where I try to answer some of the things I get asked most frequently about Greenwich or the way the site works.

3)The Phantom’s Little Black Book – Trusted Tradespeople as used by myself, my friends or Phantom regulars.

4) The Phantom Photo Album – which will actually have some pics on it as soon as I’ve worked out how to use it.

5) Parish News. Occasional announcements and events I think look interesting. Again – non-exhaustive – and even now, I’m warning, probably not as frequently updated as it should be.

Let me know what you think of the new bits. If you have any suggestions or questions, do let me know

thegreenwichphantom@gmail.com