Movin’ On Up



So many people have sent me this link (thank you all) that I thought I really had better give everyone the opportunity to purchase, should you so desire…

A four-bedroom house within Vanbrugh Castle – a wing of it, apparently, which I’m guessing is the bit to the right of the picture above. Asking price £1.75m.

Of course, its being in South East London does mean that £1.75m is still pretty low for a property like this. A few weeks ago I was doing the whole dentist’s waiting-room thing, flicking through random glossies. One of them was The London Magazine, not to be confused with The London Magazine.  Blimey, if anything promises more than it delivers it’s the former. It’s basically a property supplement with a couple of pages of expensive home furnishing ideas at the front, where prices start around the £2m mark, go up to around £30m and then start saying ‘POA.’ Nothing in South East London at all, naturally, which made me realise where we stand as far as the rest of the capital’s concerned, but also (perversely, perhaps) made me rather smug.

But back to the castle. It should give you a good view of the Equestrian events, so you can save yourselves fifty-five quid a head on the cross-country for starters – or rent the whole place out for the same price as you paid for it (if some of the more optimistic ‘rent your property out during the Olympics’ estimates are to be believed…)

It isn’t part of Vanbrugh’s core building, being a Georgian orangery extension, so probably no secret passages (chiz – £1.75m and no secret passages?) Maybe sure someone from the Blackheath Preservation Trust/Society could tell us some more about this bit? Bet you wish you were selling it now, as opposed to when you originally did the place up, guys…

There are some good-sized rooms, and the view must be excellent, especially from the ‘dual-aspect reception room’ but I confess that if I had a million and three-quarter pounds,  I’d want my own garden, rather than having to share it, though I guess two acres of lawn, knot-garden and woodland would probably mean I wouldn’t crash into the neighbours’ barbecues too often…

I wonder what the new owner will do with it. If it were me I’d take it back to the Georgian (as much as is possible) and spend my days poncing around in big boots and a tricorn pretending to be…oh, hang on, I do that already. Sadly, unless glorious GoogleAds start coughing up a few more coppers the new owner is unlikely to be me.

But guys – maybe one of you has the sort of readies this would take. And if you are, here is a plea from the Phantom. When it comes to September, remember Open City Weekend, eh?


the attachments to this post:

Vanbrugh castle winter
Vanbrugh castle winter


5 Comments to “Movin’ On Up”

  1. Dazza says:

    A mere £1.75M, pocket change, I’ll take 2 please!
    Nurse, I think I need to up my dosage again…….
    Haven’t even got £1.75!!!!

  2. OldChina says:

    I could see me swanning around it in my dressing gown and slippers, a la “The Dude” Labowski.

  3. tintinhaddock says:

    Don’t forget the £87,500 you’ll have to cough up to the treasury in stamp duty.

  4. Piratespatch says:

    oh how that made me laugh!
    Thanks.

    I did think of phoning up for a viewing, there and also the very classy, but minimal/modern for sale on Point hill for about £2million+ dressed in my best Johnny Depp Pirate outfit!

    alas…

  5. Mazer says:

    A truly glorious building!

    The original turreted part could be described as pre- Georgian, as Vanbrugh of course was an english baroque master architect. It consists of two residences.

    The detached building by the entrance is another residence, and the extension that the advertised house is in is actually late Victorian with the kitchen being a recent extension in the style of a period Orangery.

    It’s a curious upside-down house with the bedrooms apart from the master all being ground floor. The location, views and extensive gardens make it special, shame it lacks the grandeur and character that you would expect though.

    I think the extensive gardens work as shared because of the shape of the plot, that extends down the hill to the hidden gem known as westcombe woods that are landlocked behind the houses on Maze
    Hill, westcombe park road, tom smith close, ulundi road and seren park.

    Hmm, that sort of money could be spent better elsewhere though I think….