What does a Phantom have to do to get a decent ice cream round here? Out shopping with non-Greenwich pals in the market on Sunday we were suddenly struck by the desire for a nice cornet or, even perhaps, to push the boat out and treat ourselves to a 99. To my shame I couldn’t think of a single place that serves good ice cream.
Even now I can’t think of anywhere that does anything other than your bog-standard Cornettos (barring the theatre, which requires a small mortgage to buy a microscopic tub of Loseleys and even then you’d have to time your cravings for intervals.)
I vowed last time I bought a cone from one of the dodgy vans outside the Park which, as usual, collapsed within seconds, never to buy one from there again, but is there any real choice around here? Even the Victorians had their penny licks.
In my dreams there would be one of those Italian gelaterias in, oh, I don’t know where… the old Silver Street Sudios would be a great venue, or maybe the Cricketers/W-Lounge/Powder/Moneky/Tiki Lounge/Dead Pub. Or perhaps the nasty sandwich shop that closed down in Greenwich Church Street could be reinvented as an ice cream and soda parlour, 1950s, stylee.
The Phantom Gelateria would have dozens of artisanal flavours, created by Nonna in the on-site kitchen, ready to be scooped into little waffle-cones for saucer-eyed spectres. On cooler days I’d sit inside, perched on a little stool with a knickerbocker glory almost as big as me, complete with maraschino cherries and petticoat tails.
I’m pretty sure I’d know if there was one of those knocking around, but are we really stuck with ‘newsagent’s choice’ – between a Magnum and a Strawberry Mivvi? And Greenwich calls itself a tourist town.
Maybe I’ve had a total brainstorm and I’ve forgotten the obvious Gelateria Paradiso of Greenwich High Road. But if I haven’t, a business opportunity beckons for a Nonna with tutti-fruitti skills…
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