Caravan Club


This, claims VisitLondon, is the world’s smallest pop-up hotel (as opposed to the world’s smallest hotel, which, astonishingly, is not in London, but the Bavarian town of Amberg).

Here you can see it in all its airstreamy glory at Covent Garden, on its tour around the capital; its frankly superfluous excuse being to remind tourists that you’re never more than a five minute walk from 20 top London attractions.

I am assuming that they don’t mean this literally (in my case the 20 top attractions include Morley’s Chicken, several dead stores, King William IV pub, KFC, two charity shops, Tescos and the Yummy Yummy Chinese takeaway) – or that they don’t count Greenwich as London (right ‘n all) but nevertheless, it IS coming to our neck of the woods and YOU have the opportunity to win a night’s stay in all its shiny luxury.

Just imagine getting out of your swanky double bed, gliding straight into the en-suite shower whilst watching your flat screen TV and listening to groovy sounds on the stereo, before stepping into the morning glory of the Old Royal Naval College…

And why not, I guess? Who ever actually stays as a hotel guest in their own town?

Not for me this one – caravans give me the willies – but if you fancy being a tourist in your own town on the 19th March, register here, before March 7th…


12 Comments to “Caravan Club”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I would be ever so slightly daunted by the prospect of Greenwich revelers, after one too many skin-fulls, mistaking this giant silver cigar as a portaloo and attempting to gain entry whilst I am having 40 winks. Not the most peaceful experience being woken up by people knocking at the window, shouting as they go past and attepting a little 'caravan-tipping'. Not for me either GP.

  2. Benedict says:

    I wonder what the room service is like?…and does one have to share ones room with the staff? Heaven forbid eh?

  3. The Greenwich Phantom says:

    Obviously the butler sleeps underneath, so that he can be up bright and early to make your eggs…

  4. Benedict says:

    ….yes it would be a bit of a… scramble, to get out from underneath in the morning unless they.. poach, some help from another establishment.
    What the… Devil, do you make of that.

  5. No 16 says:

    Dear Phantom
    Hope you are well .Please hold this page .( Just got off plane at city airport)Will try and get the new photos of Number 16 new extention .
    Robert X

  6. Gwladys goes metaphysical says:

    I'm disappointed by the suggestion that The Phantom walks. As an ethereal being, surely s(he) should float or waft at will and any distance up or down the road shouldn't be any problem.

  7. No 16 says:

    Talking of floating.
    Here is the new extention for Number 16 St Alfege Passage for the 2012 Olympics .www.vintagecaravan.co.uk There will be live broadcast et al, from her. Please could all Phantom fans suggest a different location for each day of the Olympics in GREENWICH ??

  8. Exit, Pursued by a Bear says:

    LOL VisitLondon! Never given them any credence whatsoever since they attracted some significant derision last year when they published this:

    http://www.visitlondon.com/attractions/culture/only-in-london-our-recommendations – a list of the "top 100" things to do in London. See how many mistakes you can spot.

    the first one is that there are 200! Many of the original entries had to be changed after it was pointed out that they were horrendously inaccurate – such as being told you could see the Millenium Seed Bank at Kew, when its at Wakehurst Place. Many of the listings (which smack severely of sponsorship) are not actually in London at all.

    It was all discussed on DiamondGeezer but I can't find the actual entry. But its still fun.

  9. Bod says:

    Exit, pursued by a bear clearly looked at a different list to me…It doesn't ever say that it's a top 100 just that it's some recommendations and there's 170 odd not 200 anyway. A quick glance shows that they're all in London even if a few are outskirts and it didn't feel sponsory at all. I liked it, it gave me some ideas…

  10. Exit, Pursued by a Bear says:

    OK, lets start with the fact that London Zoo is on the list no less than three times, that Hampton Court is in Surrey (and appears twice) , that Eastbury Manor House (1) is in Essex, that The Red House (3) and Down House (6) are in Kent, that the Greenwich Meridian (25) can be stood on in other places than Greenwich, that Heathrow Airport (39) could hardly be considered a tourist attraction, that (56) and (92) are both plugs for one-off events at the 02, that (86) cannot be proved and that people here on holiday are hardly likely to want to take part in a business meeting, that the National Portrait Gallery appears twice, that Parliament (118) doesnt sit through the summer, that Clapham Junction station (124) is a somewhat unlikely tourist destination, that the Tower of London appears twice (128 and 130), that nobody could conceivably know the burial place of the first plague victim (139), that (144) cannot conceivably be proved, that Kensington Palace appears twice, that Syon House (153 is in Middlesex, Upminster Windmill (154) is in Essex, that gold bars (163) are not kept in the Bank of England Museum, that Sir Walter Raleigh (166) would be highly unlikely to recognise the streets of Islington today……

    Shall I go on?

  11. Bod says:

    Coo-er…I was only saying I quite liked it. Your forensic study has put me right off it though, those disgraceful errors could put someones eye out…

  12. Exit, Pursued by a Bear says:

    And let us not forget that, before there was a big round of laughing and pointing via the Internet, VisitLondon's list was called "Top 100 things to do in London". This was amended to "100 things you can only do in London" at which point there was more laughing and pointing at the "non-London" bits and the dafter suggestions such as playing football on Hackney Marshes.