Wagon Wheel Syndrome

Sally’s just asked one of the most random questions I’ve had in a long while. She’s wondering:

“…if anyone else has noticed whether the pork chops and chicken breasts (or any other produce for that matter) from Drings have been quite a lot smaller recently?! They’re still great, but not quite the huge lumps of meat I’m sure we once got. Is this just an effect of my growing appetite or is the produce truly shrinking?”

The Phantom replies:

I confess I’m not a regular customer at Drings, being geographically closer to G.G. Sparkes, so I’m not much good for commenting here, but clearly this is a Burning Issue West Greenwich way. Whenever I’ve been into Drings, or been contacted about the shop, there’s only ever good stuff been said – I’m told that the Scotch Eggs are particularly fine – but maybe they have been buying smaller animals or something.

Isn’t most meat sold by the kilo? Maybe the prices have gone up, making what you get for your money less? Or are you saying the the sizes of all chicken legs have shrunk? Perhaps they’re acquiring glamorously Hollywood-slim chickens, and specially-svelte swine to sex-up the butchery industry. On the other hand that wouldn’t work with the breasts.

Hmm. Other possibilities. Um… You’ve stopped wearing your pebble spectacles to the butchers…You’re standing further away from the counter… You’ve acquired a tapeworm (sorry…)

Heavens – I don’t know. But it could just be good old-fashioned Wagon Wheel Syndrome. Come to think of it I’m sure Creme Eggs were bigger, too, when I was a kid. Have you looked at the dairy counter recently?


Comments are closed.