Attack Of The Killer…


PANIC! as SWARMS of slimy insects RAMPAGE YOUR ROSES!

SCREAM! as they SUCK your greenery’s LIFEBLOOD!

RUN! to the garden centre to find something environmentally unfriendly to KILL the HORRIFIC MONSTERS!

FEAR! these terrifying CREATURES OF DOOM will turn their DRIPPING JAWS on the HUMAN RACE!

Benedict had a shock the other day. Thinking that Greenwich Council had painted the lamp post outside his gaff with a special new, textured finish, he was yuckked-out to find it was a swarm of greenfly.

In his garden, worse was to come. His plants, smothered in the lime-green nasties, were beginning to droop.

Whatever he does, they keep coming back. He’s now wondering if this is personal. Has a vengeful Greenwich god wreaked a biblical plague upon him for some dreadful transgression – or does everyone have greenfly-a-go-go just now?

I’ve been peering at plants in other people’s gardens in a suspicious fashion and they do seem to have vast quantities of nasty green bugs on them (and a few nasty black bugs too.) So maybe Benedict’s not been picked out for Personal Purgatory after all.

Maybe we’ll get a plague of Greenwich Toads to eat the plague of Greenwich Greenfly. But then we’d need a plague of Greenwich – hang on, what eats toads..?

Thanks, Rich, for the last-min pic…


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