Free The Pingu One!

Today, I have to bring to your attention a disgraceful matter.

A violation of Basic Penguin Rights, happening under our very noses, as the seeming ‘charity shop’ on the corner of Blackwall Lane and Pelton Road subjects this poor pantomime penguin to living in a freezing back yard, with just a stripy scarf to protect him against the cruelty of the elements and a mere wheelie bin to sleep in.

His crime? As yet unproven – but he is incarcerated under suspicion of being ‘the wrong kind of penguin suit.’

It’s understandable how it happened. The shop specialises in evening wear.

Clearly whoever donated him to the store thought that he would find a decent home there, maybe a family who would love and cherish him. Instead he is forced to live in the yard, abandoned, frightened and alone. A poster-chick who screams:

“A Penguin Outfit is for life, not just your store’s promotion…”

As he pitifully peers through his prison bars, I urge you to join me in a letter-writing campaign to release this poor creature.* Or maybe you could go one better and adopt him. He’ll need a fair bit of wringing-out after yesterday’s cruel rainstorms, but a rescue-penguin can give years of joy.

I have a friend who once rescued a pantomime duck. I leave you to fill in the obvious puns…

*It’s possible that this penguin isn’t an outfit at all, but another persecuted minority, the Giant-Fairground-Stuffed-Toy. This does nothing to alleviate the situation. Carney-Penguins have rights too.

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