Confessions Of A Non Window Cleaner

Michelle is feeling a bit silly. She writes:

This is more of a warning than a question, and even though I don’t feel quite as stupid as the people that agree to transfer $100,000,000 into their Natwest accounts on behalf of a Nigerian prince, for a very reasonable £8000.00 fee, I still feel pretty dim.

There is a guy masquerading as a window cleaner around East Greenwich (maybe West too if he has any sense) clearly trying to catch stressed, busy women/ men at home during the day. I was duped today when I was on the phone, mid-way through a 15 minute hold I might add, to speak to a recorded Tiscali customer service advisor. As such, I was not really paying attention to his patter as I opened the door and he pointed out the true, horrifying state of my windows in great detail.

Halfway through his ditty, someone in India answered my call and I tried to hold two conversations at once and before I knew it, I had handed over £10 of my hard earned cash for one of his guys to return in an hour.

Shortly after finishing my half-hour, completely pointless call, I realised I had been a prize muppet, told my friend that popped in for coffee and she said two of her ‘mum pals’ had been caught for the same scam.

We all feel like idiots and I don’t even have the excuse of a small child hanging on to my ankles as a distraction but I thought if someone knows about this and he comes to their door and they tell him where to stick his squidgy, I will feel some small speck of satisfaction. That and the hope that he chokes on the KFC bucket he waddled off to by with my cash.”

The Phantom is glad you’ve had the courage to admit to being scammed, Michelle. You know, deep in the recesses of my spectral mind, I vaguely remember a spate of these happening about four or five years ago. It all went quiet – presumbably once they realised that word had got around. I guess they think Greenwich is ripe for the picking again. Watch out folks…

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