Nekkid! Nekkid, I Tell You!!!

Heavens to Murgatroyd! David’s just been swimming at our beloved Arches and he’s in a bit of a lather over the facilities…

“I went to the Arches in Maze Hill for a swim the other day, the first time in absolutely ages. After a suitably invigorating number of lengths, I popped myself into the gents’ poolside showers. As I hung my towel up I was rather shocked by the note that hung under the peg, which read (and I paraphrase), “Due to child heath issues, no [-] showering here. If you wish to take a shower [-] please use the dry-side changing rooms”.

The Phantom interjects here. Normally I would edit out the next paragraph because it’s pertinent only to being in an email – but it made me laugh, so it stays…

“The blank in the sentence above [-] was, if I remember correctly, a common word for being sans trunks (or any clothes at all) — n*k*d. I don’t want to spell the word out as I’m sure as using it in the same email as the word “child” is at best likely to put this email into your spam folder, at worst get the police round.

Which is in a roundabout way what I’m getting at with this email. I don’t want to embark on a Daily Mail-style “PC gone mad” rant but what’s this about? How long has it been there? Is it in response to an actual event, or is it one of those typically hysterical responses to a non-existent problem?

I’m not going to go on the streets to protest my rights to shower sans trunks, but this seems pretty crazy — after all the showers are suitably separated from the pool, so you wouldn’t be “exposed” to anything by accident. I’m going to write to the manager about this to get the “official” view (I would have written something on the suggestion forms by the entrance but I had no pen, and there weren’t any available by the forms, helpfully enough). Oh, and I guess it goes without saying that (according to my partner who
came swimming with me) there was no such sign in the ladies.”

You know what? I’m with David here. I can’t see the harm in this – it’s not as though the place is unattended. Any man caught waving his willy at minors would soon be caught and exposed. But I don’t have kids. All you parents – would you be disturbed to see a man with no clothes on in a shower? Could it affect your child’s health? Or are we demonising half the population?

Sorry – no pics to go with this one ;-)


Comments are closed.