So, it would seem that it was all an accident after all. Someone left an industrial vacuum cleaner on for two days and a couple of security guards sloped off to a cafe for a kip, missing the beginning of the fire.

You can read about it here. What I wonder, though, is what will happen to the insurance money, if it can be proved that the fire wasn’t deliberately started. I guess they can sue the Italian makers of the vacuum – but it could be argued that leaving in on for an entire weekend wasn’t the best of ideas. The security guards could be rounded up and sent before the beak – but it’s unlikely that they’d have the sort of money that the insurance would be covering.

I hope I’m worrying unnecessarily. I do a lot of that.

Vanbrugh Hill

I had hoped never to have to write about wedding venues again, but Lorna’s still not convinced by the Phantom Shindigs page, and I can sort of see what she means. Besides, it does give me the excuse to use this pic I took last week of a jolly mode of wedding transport outside The Trafalgar Tavern.

Lorna writes:

“My boyfriend has just (finally!) proposed, and we want to get married in Greenwich and have our reception in Greenwich too.

I’ve read through all the information on your site (and all sites online it seems!) about weddings in Greenwich, and I’m still a bit blurry on what we could do to make our wedding ‘extra speicial’.

So I wondered if you, or your readers had any thoughts on what their idea of a perfect Greenwich wedding would be, or if they have been to an extra special wedding in Greenwich and why it was so!

So far with our venue research (the usual – Queen’s House etc) we’ve found that the venues are WAY too prescriptive on what you can and can’t do, and you have no freedom with suppliers etc. We’d ideally like a church wedding followed by a marquee in the park, but of course, Greenwich council won’t allow that – but clearly the Olympics is fine! ;o)

So, any thoughts, random ideas, advice would be gratefully received!

Our only stipulations is that it’s held within walking distance from Greenwich town centre and would work for around 120 guests! Winter, summer, spring, autumn all sound great to me, and I’m having HUGE problems deciding! We don’t have a budget yet – so the sky is technically the limit!

I think the key is not knowing what CAN be done in Greenwich – we only seem to know what CAN’T be done!”

The Phantom agrees that many venues seem to be extremely prescriptive – it was something that came up again and again when I was writing the Shindigs page – the dreaded “allocated wedding planner,” the stipulated “approved caterers” and the vast rules and regulations. Some of them I can understand – if the venue’s of great historic value, for example, but most just seem to be trying to squeeze as much cash as possible from the happy couple.

I would be terrified by the thought of an alotted wedding planner – the images that dance before my eyes cow me just to think about it. And many venues don’t seem to even consider giving you a quote without forcing you to go through one of these scary people. They may dress it up as ‘customer service’ and ‘added value’ but IMHO the venues have realised it’s more difficult to back out after you’ve had a huge quote if there’s a designated human who has created a wedding plan ‘just for you. It would be a tough bird indeed that would happily rack up wedding planners and play them off against each other to get the best deal.

You say that you want a church wedding. It certainly ends the agony of trying to find a civil venue for the ceremony itself, which is fraught with problems – the venues have to pay so much for a licence that they often insist on your holding the reception there too – which racks up the costs. I know you say that the sky’s the limit, budget-wise, but weddings are hideously, hideously expensive and people add a couple of zeros onto costs as soon as they know something’s for a wedding.

You should find basic details on churches on the Shindigs page – if you’re not a churchgoer at the moment, it might be worth considering attending a few services for some churches; others are less fussy.

I confess to be rather glad that Royal Parks don’t allow marquees in the park – they’d be a permanent fixture, but that does mean that marquees are out, especially if you’re keen for it to be within walking distance of the town centre. The only place I can think of that regularly has marquees is The Fan Museum, and that’s such a pretty garden it seems a shame to stick a whopping great tent over it.

Depending on when your wedding is planned, i.e. if it’s from Spring 2010, you could see at what stage the Cutty Sark will be (notwithstanding any more accidents.) I get the feeling it’s going to be a stunning venue – a quick call to the Cutty Sark Trust might see you as one of the first people to use it.

My problem is that I really did rack my brains for the Phantom Shindigs page – if there are other venues within walking distance of the town centre, I don’t know about them. But maybe someone else here will.

I know that it’s a really special day for you, but don’t get carried away, like a friend of mine, who is getting married next year. She has been planning it since last year, and every time I see her she’s worrying herself to a frazzle over some detail. That’s two years of agony for one day. After all, it’s two people saying they want to be together for the rest of their lives. The rest is just packaging.

That shoe mender may have been the rudest man on earth, but I do now face a small problem. Where in Greenwich can you buy bootlaces these days (the sort you put in your shoes, not the sort Mr Humbug sells, natch…)

One thing’s for certain. Trafalgar Road isn’t sitting still. Shops are opening, even if not all of them are quite what some people would choose. La Salumeria’s opening a cafe in the back; the Trafalgar Cafe is now reopened after making itself smaller (to shoehorn a flat upstairs – probably worth more than the entire business.) Maybe things are looking up?

We’ve been a bit slow on Fave Front Gardens this year – presumably the weather’s not really inspired people as much as usual. But Benedict told me about one in King George Street which is as lovely as it is simple. He sent me these pics to prove it.

This little cottage could be in a little provincial town, but it isn’t. It’s in the centre of Greenwich and a reminder that you can get a little bit of the countryside pretty much anywhere. There are a few perennials in there, but for the show, they’ve concentrated on just a couple of annuals – big, floppy poppies and sweet peas, which act as a very neat ‘net curtain.’ A profusion of summer, to remind us that yes, we did actually get a bit of one…

Laura’s just sent me a link to Andrew Gilligan’s feature in the Standard today about the Equestrian events at the 2012 Olympics. Just passing it on, folks…

Benedict, you were moaning that there haven’t been enough pictures recently, so this one’s for you…

I was sent this fabbo comic a short while ago, (among others, all of which are wonderful) and I was put in mind of it when I was walking down Old Woolwich Road one darkening evening. There, peeping out from behind a high wall, was – OMG – surely not? The deadly Kacia Tree of Bandar!

Could it be that those lethal smells we’ve been blaming on the drains in Lassell St are actually – heavens – the Kacia tree itself? Or are they merely portents of what is to come when the poisonous purple plant finally blooms.

Will the vicious vegetable murder us all? Can the Peninsula Pong be traced to a backstreet in Greenwich? And does the Phantom actually wear a mauve all-in-one ensemble? Tune in next week, folks, to find out…

Funny – since I decided to write about how rubbish the NMM are about letting us know about stuff going on, I’ve received this from three different people. None of whom are actually from the museum, of course.

This Saturday and Sunday as part of the Cultural Olympiad (about which I’m not sure how I feel, but that’s a discussion for another day) the NMM will host a couple of days of free arts events and workshops. I’d normally put this on the Parish News but since it’s a bit late, it’s here.

Saturday is Behind the Scenes at the Observatory.

Sunday is the vaguely-titled “Greenwich Lives.”

Find out more about it here