Silent Witness
A short while ago I was crossing Blackheath. It was, I guess, about 8.30pm - maybe it was much later - my memory is hazy now about virtually everything except The Noise. Certainly it was getting quite cold and very dark and there was virtually no one else around on that eerie, twilit heath.
It was then that I heard it. A strange, mournful, moaning sound coming from somewhere in front of me. As I approached, a tall, hooded figure with its back to me seemed hunched over, intent on whatever it was doing. The wailing increased. An inhuman, metallic honk of a moan. Something must be in distress. For a second, The Noise split in short, angry squawks, then went back to wailing again.
I got a little closer to the swaddled, hooded figure. Not too close - that would be daft - but close enough to see what it was. A man, all by himself with just the crows for company, playing long, doleful notes on a saxophone, coat buttoned and hood up against the cold. I think the poor sod was even wearing gloves.
What's the story behind that one? I can only assume it was the result of one of those "It's that - that - that instrument - or me" type conversations. That he had gone to practice where whoever he lived with wouldn't belt him one.
I'm pretty sure this isn't nearly the strangest thing that's ever been seen on Blackheath. I'm actually pretty sure it's not the strangest thing I've seen in the area, but it's one of those little odd moments that seem extremely eloquent in their simplicity - that tell a bigger tale than might just first appear.
I'd like to hear about the oddest things you've seen in Greenwich. I bet you've got much better stories than my lonesome sax man. Points will be awarded for storytelling prowess.
And, while we're about it, c'mon - 'fess up to the Phantom - have you ever done anything that might seem perfectly sensible at the time but afterwards has occurred to you might have looked just the teensiest bit odd to passers-by? Hey - wouldn't it be weird if the stories coincided...
It was then that I heard it. A strange, mournful, moaning sound coming from somewhere in front of me. As I approached, a tall, hooded figure with its back to me seemed hunched over, intent on whatever it was doing. The wailing increased. An inhuman, metallic honk of a moan. Something must be in distress. For a second, The Noise split in short, angry squawks, then went back to wailing again.
I got a little closer to the swaddled, hooded figure. Not too close - that would be daft - but close enough to see what it was. A man, all by himself with just the crows for company, playing long, doleful notes on a saxophone, coat buttoned and hood up against the cold. I think the poor sod was even wearing gloves.
What's the story behind that one? I can only assume it was the result of one of those "It's that - that - that instrument - or me" type conversations. That he had gone to practice where whoever he lived with wouldn't belt him one.
I'm pretty sure this isn't nearly the strangest thing that's ever been seen on Blackheath. I'm actually pretty sure it's not the strangest thing I've seen in the area, but it's one of those little odd moments that seem extremely eloquent in their simplicity - that tell a bigger tale than might just first appear.
I'd like to hear about the oddest things you've seen in Greenwich. I bet you've got much better stories than my lonesome sax man. Points will be awarded for storytelling prowess.
And, while we're about it, c'mon - 'fess up to the Phantom - have you ever done anything that might seem perfectly sensible at the time but afterwards has occurred to you might have looked just the teensiest bit odd to passers-by? Hey - wouldn't it be weird if the stories coincided...
Labels: Weird Greenwich
posted by The Greenwich Phantom at
08:07
19 Comments:
I took one of my cats (Ray The Hammer) down the street in my neighbours discarded pram. He enjoyed it!
Was it the same guy who plays the sax by the station in Blackheath on Sundays?
I know Mrs Bugle saw a bagpipe player on the heath the other day - I was going to post a video of him on my blog, but it was too blurry.
The only strange thing I did was to take my grandfather's antique World War 1 telescope up to The Point to look out across London, which was great, except that I kept worrying that some hoodies would pinch it.
It's not in the park, but the ferret man might be a contender, if he walks the little fellow up there...
Years ago there used to be a man, very respectable looking in his early sixties, who used to often be seen striding purposefully across the Heath wearing (whatever the weather) a short-sleeved open necked shirt (green) very short khaki shorts and knee-high brown leather lace-up boots (immaculately polished). It looked more eccentric than that perhaps sounds.
Also, in the mornings sometimes, on the bit of river walk that runs from Cutty Sark Gardens to Wood Wharf, you can sometimes see an old Chinese man with a silk Chinese suit on and a painted wooden sword doing some kind of tai-chi type martial art exercises. Charming rather than wierd, perhpas, but certainly unexpected.
There's an old lady who regularly takes her little West Highland Terrier up and down Royal Hill in one of those shopping trolleys that old ladies have. If it's raining he has the cover down and you can just see his little nose peeping out.
The dopiest thing I've ever done personally was go to the Greenwich Union in full Bavarian tracht - lederhosen, the lot. There was a reason for this (long story) but walking round Greenwich like that felt distincly odd - perhaps I was somebody's "You'll never guess what I've just seen...." stories that day...?
I was once walking back with my brother across the heath after a party - about 2.30 am/3.00 am (it wasn't that good a party)and talking about friends in York, when we suddenly met one of them. Odd, because there isn't exactly much cover to hide behind and spring out from nowadays, and the friend (who lived and worked in York) didn't seem at all clear why he was there.
I saw ferret man just yesterday in the village. I wonder if in Bugle's photo he was going somewhere, or perhaps the ferret just enjoys watching the trains go by? I had a grandfather like that...
Once saw some teenagers dealing drugs. Probably. Can't think what else was in those short little plastic straws they were trading for money.
I've seen cars drive across the Heath, apparently fed up with the drudgery of traffic.
Best odd thing I've seen is a group of little girls (mine included) mooning us.
Oddest thing I've done is pull out a plastic potty for my toddler to use in an emergency.
Ooh, also saw the nice man who visits Starbucks every morning break out his cross country skis in very light snow.
There always used to be a bagpiper - in fact there was a local chap who plays the bagpipes down at the Yacht Club the other day - but he says it wasn't him - is there a whole bagorchesta out there?
I used to see the guy on a bike with his acrobatic pooches quite a lot but haven't for a long tme. He had two dogs, one golden, one black and they would jump in and out of a plastic box on the back of the bike as he rode along.
Not exactly weird but very entertaining to watch.
Anyone seen him recently?
That reminds me of the old rasta guy that cruises the thames path area on his bike with his radio on making everyone smile outside the Cutty Sark pub. Not seen him in a while either...
We were once driving home on a sunny weekend afternoon a few years ago and stopped at the zebra crossing outside the Royal Standard to let a man cross. As if in slow motion we realised he had a python wrapped round his lower arm ... I think he went into the pub. I like to think the snake had a port and lemon or something innocuous like that ...
Eek! Yesterday afternoon I saw a clown, in full clown outfit, make-up, red nose and orange bubble perm wig, driving a car along Straitsmouth!
(James Wolfe School in Randall Place were having their summer fete, so maybe he was going to entertain the kids, but it still looked wierd)
I saw a very small shetland pony in St Alfeges' park yesterday being ridden by a young man. Very odd, and actually quite sad. Tried to find a policeman (assumed RSPCA wouldn't be able toget there in time), but suprise suprise, no policemen to be found.
Rod: "Years ago there used to be a man, very respectable looking in his early sixties, who used to often be seen striding purposefully across the Heath wearing (whatever the weather)...."
He was a teacher ('master') at St Dunstan's College in Catford.
Has anyone seen an armadillo type creature being taken for a walk on a lead in the Westcombe Park area ? (I kid you not)
Every Sunday for the past five years I've seen a man (in his late 30s?) on a unicycle bouncing into the dips opposite Vanbrugh Park. I can watch him from my window. Its strange as it is exactly the same action every weekend for about 30 mins. He's fallen off too - but only once that I've seen! Dedication!
About Lula's pony man: a gee-gee-type animal has been living at least some of the time behind a corrugated-metal wall in Bardsley Lane for years. About a year ago I found the door open, revealing a pony, and a young man washing down the concrete. He uses it for pony rides. His father before him kept a pony there (same one?) Seemed a bad place to keep a pony, so it's a relief to think that it gets the odd outing on grass.
Goodburger - thanks for the info about the pony - I can only imagine it's the same one. I was worried about the fact that these kids (who were bigger than me!) were trying to ride it - quite frightening for the pony and not good for it either! Poor thing!
Nobody's mentioned Greenwich's now legendary "Incredible Farting Man", the little old fellow with the carrier bags who blows raspberries at comically inappropriate moments around the Cutty Sark.
My favourite Farting moment was when a few chaps from Trinity, working as a barber-shop quartet down by the Sark, were supplemented in a quiet moment by our man shuffling into the limelight, blowing a particularly fruity one much to the enjoyment of the gathered crowd, and shuffling off again.
After discussing him at work it transpires that a colleague has seen him a number of times in Morden and, in an odd twist, I discovered him working counting up the docketts in Noodle Time at the end of the night when I drunkenly staggered in there for post-pub MSG intake a few weeks back; he arranged the order slips into various boxes and was given a tenner for his troubles, leaving with a quick "parp" and a rustle of his bag...
I once set up a full drum kit and amps on the heath once for a photoshoot for a band I was managing. It was winter and freezing and blowing a gale. We werent there long but I'm sure I've got a photo somewhere!
cant believe no one here has mentioned BareFoot Man.
When I was a kid, about 10 or 12 years ago i used to see him regularly striding about the Standard.
He was a tall thin man, who dressed in black and went barefoot (obviously)
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