Woolwich Arsenal FC

This isn't actually by me. Scared of Chives wrote such a fab reply to one of my earlier postings that I thought it merited an actual post in itself. Since I know bugger-all about any kind of football, I am always glad to have the massive gaps in my knowledge filled...

He writes (of the early, local years of Arsenal FC)

Loads of people from the North/Scotland bundled down south to find work in the 1880s and some ended up at the Woolwich Arsenal which I guess was a bit more important then than it is now!

A bloke called David Danskin – a Scot -bought a football after a whip-round with his work chums. A team was formed – Dial Square – and their first match was mid-December 1886. As you said TGP, on Chistmas Day they all hooked up at the Royal Oak pub, probably got rat-arsed and named the team Royal Arsenal. As some of the team had already played for Nottingham Forest and still had their tops, they chose red and Forest even supplied a set of tops for the whole team – bless.

Arsenal have never actually played in Woolwich! First ‘ground’ they played as Royal Arsenal was Plumstead Common, then they moved to a site of old pig farm – the Sportsman Ground – on Plumstead Marshes, then onto Manor Field (later to be known as the Manor Ground) near the station. (They briefly went to the Invicta ground but came back to stay put for 20 years or so).

The facilities was originally two-bob and the players changed in the Green Man pub on the high street or the Railway Tavern! (Are they still there?)

I guess you by now will have worked out the reason why the team are called the Gunners.The club started to become pretty popular with locals – including the workers at the munitions factory - and non-locals.

The club made money and improved the ground – although in the early part of the 20th century they did have bad money problems. This was one of the reasons why the club decided to move to north London. Plumstead was hard to get to (even now if there’s a problem with the line, you’re stuffed basically) and the club needed to make sure there was lots of local support, good transport links and so on. Land belonging to St John’s College of Divinity, in Highbury, was found. The owners got chucked 20 grand for a 21-year lease and rest, as they say, is history.

Of course many ‘Woolwich’ people got the hump and I guess they had a point. Even as a Gooner (an AFC supporter? TGP) it is odd that a club upped-sticks to go so far from their birthplace. But the club may not have survived otherwise. And there are two main reasons why – by then – local Tottenham Hotspur hated us. One was obviously the geographical reason and the other, well that’s for another day/blog as it’s too detailed to go into on TGP’s one. And probably not for here anyway.Oh, the ‘Woolwich’ part of the name was dropped in 1914 to become The Arsenal’.

The Phantom doffs a red and white cap in SoC's general direction...

Comings and Goings 2007

This time of year there's always a 'review' of what went on over the past 12 months in whichever piece of media you care to read, and I don't like being left out. I don't usually get myself too embroiled with local news, so if you want a serious overview of kittens up trees and pensioners outraged at rubbish in parks, you'll just have to check out the local papers. I thought I'd look at one or two of my favourite comings and goings of 2007. In many ways just as trivial, but it's our trivia...

Comings and Goings

Well, hello-ooo...

Frisbee in Greenwich Park So how's that one going, then, fit folk?

The Spread Eagle The aggressive refit isn't to everyone's taste, and yes, if it were me I would have kept it as it was. But the food is good and Dick Moy's paintings are fabulous.

The Alamo. Utter crap. See below.

Buenos Aires Restaurant A strong contender for my favourite opening of 2007. A superb restaruant. Shame it's in Blackheath...

The O2 On first appearances this seems to be a success, even if for most of us, most of the time, it's somewhere 'other people' go. What really needs some work is the transport infrastructure so that we can actually get on the buses during and after events...

Point Zero A perfectly acceptable Polish cafe.

Channers Almost next door to Point Zero and Alacosta and virtually opposite The Trafalgar Cafe, this seemed to be trying to reinvent the wheel, and as such, appears to have struggled a bit. A shame really as they really looked like they were trying hard. I was walking past the other day and noticed they were having a refit - within 6 months of their original opening. Whether this will be enough remains to be seen.

So Organic Does what it says on the tin. Organic Lovely Stuff.

The Fishmonger Ltd A fine addition indeed to the coterie of Greenwich Shops.

The Peter Harrison Planetarium Greenwich's latest cultural addition. Not quite what we were promised, according to inside sources, but still well worth a visit. If you have any mince pounds left, go soon and get money off your ticket.

Bombay Bicycle Club The arrival of the upmarket curry delivery service was much-anticipated. It's lovely food, a bit on the pricey side.

Bizili A new art materials shop from a slightly strange Chinese multinational. Could be good, but hasn't reached anything like its potential yet.

The Rose and Crown A classy refit for this popular gay pub.

The Powder Monkey. An unpopular refit of The Cricketers. See below.

The Thames Clipper service has four new boats. I wouldn't say I'm now a regular, but I've used it four times since November and it's fab. Never actually seen the coffee bar open though.

The Post Shop in The High Road is a big improvement on its grey and dingy predecessor - bright and useful and full of stuff you might need. It should not have to replace all the other branches in Greenwich though. I understand they had to get planning permission to put the post box back outside, which I find staggering.

Ginza Now you're talking. A Japanese restaurant at the 'wrong' end of town which actually rocks. Excellent food, beautifully presented with extremely (almost too) attentive service. Yessss.

IndigO2 A bad name for a good music venue. Expensive but classy new joint I will be more than happy to visit in the future.

Live Advent Calendar. A fantastic idea. I utterly loved the concept and most of the windows were amazing. I look forward to it becoming an annual thing - I can see a point in the future where getting a 'date' will be a huge honour and preparations will assume Rio Carnival heights - where people start planning their next year's window on Jan 2nd... Come to think of it a carnival would be great too. Well done everyone - lovely stuff.

Much Lamented:

The Meeting House One of the big tragedies of my year was losing this honest little caff. What it has morphed into is hideous beyond belief.

Marcet Books

Just the latest in a line of tiny secondhand bookshops tucked in little corners of Greenwich to bite the dust. It was only when all the books were actually carted out of there that one was able to see that it wasn't that small a shop. Warwick Leadlay has taken over the place and opened it as a gallery which is definitely the least worst option. I like Warwick Leadlay's shop and he actually gives a damn. If I can't have a dusty little bookshop there then he's the next best option. The guy in there told me that there were so many books stored in the basement underneath that if, by any slim chance, the floor had collapsed, it wouldn't have gone very far...

Unmourned:

The Alamo One of the most bog-awful places I have ever eaten at. Apparently the rest of the world agreed as it didn't even last 'til the Christmas rush. Appalling. I just hope they don't try again with something else. What would work there with a kitchen that size would be good quality coffee and pre-cinema snacks. Nothing bigger.

Pizza Luna This, without a doubt was the worst restaurant in Greenwich, beating the Alamo into a cocked hat, but only narrowly missing Tai Won Mein. I am truly grateful to see it go, if only for the embarrassment I felt knowing unsuspecting foreign visitors were trying to eat there, thinking it was representative of Britain. Appalling.

The Powder Monkey. The perhaps unwise decision to try to trendy-up the gay scene after having taken away The Gloucester Arms saw the opening - and shutting of The Powder Monkey within a few months. It is now to be "The W Lounge" (wonder what the "W" stands for. Don't go for cheap laughs, now...) We'll see...

The Old Friends That this place has closed upsets me not one jot. But as a dead pub it is even more of a shambles than it was when it was alive. With the coming of the "Heart for East Greenwich" (I'm shuddering a little, but still have my fingers crossed) couldn't someone take this place and do something lovely with it? Greenwich Meantime Brewery, perhaps..?

Not long for this world:

Flying Duck Enterprises The loss of this place will be a tragedy for the town - a seriously big nail in the coffin of quirkiness which already teeters on the grave of Greenwich's independent shops. I don't know the exact reason they're going - but I understand the clientele of the hideous Wetherspoons (no chance of that being closed) has much to do with it. I hear rumour they're going to Brighton. Frankly Brighton has so many of these shops already I think they'd do better just upping sticks a short way and opening somewhere else in Greenwich. But I wish them luck whatever they do. They will be sorely missed.

East Greenwich Post Office On its way out, after a lacklustre refurb.

La Salumeria A sad thing, losing a classic, untrendy, just-good deli. When I was in there on Christmas Eve though, I asked how long they thought they'd still be there and the lady laughed and said they way the sale was going they'd still be there next Christmas. They are currently trying to sell it as a going concern. I just hope someone bites...

Not Dead Yet:

The Cutty Sark The poor old girl's in trouble, but she's still just about breathing. It's down to us to keep her going. I'll be actively seeking out ways to support the fighting fund next year.

East Greenwich Gas Holder. One worth fighting for. If we lose this, we effectively lose pretty much all of our visible industrial history on the Peninsula (I'm not counting the businesses which still quietly go on along the river - we can't see them from the new builds - and it's important to be visually reminded where history comes from) and may as well just become another dormitory. I'll be banging on more about this much more next year. You have been warned.

The Coffee Cellar The owner of this fine little cafe has been poorly recently, Scared of Chives tells me, and it's been closed. So when it reopens, we all need to visit lots to cheer him up, or we'll lose this little 60s gem too

Joshua Beasley

I've just met a bunch of young lads in a car park, putting leaflets under windscreen wipers. Being the nosey Phantom I am, I had to know what they were doing, and when I found out it broke my heart.

Their friend Joshua Beasley has been missing since Christmas Eve, when he was leaving Greenwich Ice Rink - about 5.15pm. They have no idea where he is and it's totally out of character for him to disappear like this. So a whole bunch of them are pretty much wallpapering Greenwich, in the hope that anyone may have seen any glimpses of him. The least I can do is ask you lot for them.

He's about five foot ten, slim/medium build, with thick, black, 'slightly untidy' hair. Both his ears are pierced and he was wearing black. I know that just about describes every 17 year-old, but do have a think. He looks like this:

It's beyond extremely unlikely he'll be reading this - but if you are, Joshua, your mates are really worried about you - please give them a call.

It's ever so slightly less unlikely that someone reading this has seen him - if you have, give Lewisham Police a call - 020 8297 1212.

I haven't seen such worried-looking seventeen year olds for a long, long time.

Greenwich Underwater?

Jonny asks an interesting question. I'm no expert on this, and I would appreciate chippings-in...

He says:

I am thinking of buying a house off the Woolwich Road in East Greenwich - but it is said to be located within 250 metres of a flood plain. While this is no great surprise given the proximity of the river...it has made me slightly worried given concerns over the current state of the flood defences and the perceived need to upgrade the Thames flood barrier. I understand the barrier is regularly in use these days, more than ever before. The devastation caused by the summer floods in other parts of the country has also given me pause for thought! On the other hand, I understand there haven't been any floods in London since 1953 - but I believe the Blackwall tunnel and parts of Greenwich were affected by historic floods. Am I worrying unduly? Are there any parts of Greenwich not within a flood plain? Would appreciate any advice you may have.

The Phantom replies:

Have you been watching Flood by any chance? Or perhaps just been walking along the Thames Path outside Trinity Hospital and been a bit alarmed by the measure-markings on the wall...

I think we're pretty much all "within 250 metres of a flood plain," even if we're uphill, here in Greenwich - though I stand to be corrected by residents of Royal or Crooms Hills. I suspect it's a bit of a catch-all phrase that the Environment Agency uses to cover itself. But this is something worth considering even if only for insurance purposes. Let's face it, there are flats in Woolwich already being built on stilts - though, of course, they are the other side of the barrier.

You don't say which side of Woolwich Road you are considering. Pretty much all the roads south of it are uphill, so obviously the further up you are, the less likely you are to be drownded, though it may feel a bit close for comfort and you may not want to keep your dried-flower collection in your cellar if you're near the bottom. Even north of the road, the land is on a slight gradient. And remember - if we're underwater, the chances are that The Houses of Parliament will be as well - and by that point I suspect a national emergency will have been announced and Robert Carlyle will have to get heroic.

It would be interesting to know what kind of ground floor the new flats in Lovell's Wharf will be getting - and perhaps indicative of what the developers are expecting (unless they're going for the quick-sale option and don't give a damn, in which case the government should...) Certainly I don't see much panic in the streets around - a couple of years ago I noticed a planning application to dig out a basement in Ballast Quay - understandable, given the size of the buildings there, but a brave move IMHO. I have no idea whether it was ever allowed - but they must have been pretty confident they could keep water under control to have made such a leap of faith.

I wouldn't worry too much about Blackwall Tunnel having had the occasional inundation - it's underneath the Thames even at low tide. ;-)

It's true that the Thames Barrier sees quite a bit of action these days, and yes, it does need updating at some point in the future. But it's still doing a great job - if the barrier fails, it won't be because it's broken. I would guess the water is far more likely to flood the poor folk downstream - newly moved into John Prescott's brainwave of an idea, the Thames Corridor, or as I prefer to call it, The Thames Ghetto. Did his geography teacher not explain why marsh land is, well, marsh land? Given that the Peninsula used to be called Bugsby's Marshes, we might worry a little about that area too, but I've not heard much about it being a potential blackspot (though I guess they wouldn't go on about it, given the amount of building they plan on doing there...)

If you're really worried, why not try making a few trial applications for insurance? My guess is they'll be far more worried about fire and theft than flood...

Beachcomber

Greenwich Church St

I confess that until about two weeks ago, I'd never set foot in this place. There was just something about it - part tourist tat, part seaside caff - which is fine on Southend Seafront, less fitting in the middle of Greenwich. Outside, dodgy paintings of seafood and a couple of sad-looking palm trees boded ill for the interior.

But in my quest to find out what every restaurant in Greenwich is like, it needed to be tested, so, after my mum and I had sat for a good fifteen minutes in Bar du Musee being eyed by, but not not actually attended to by two waiters (perhaps we didn't look like the 'right' kind of diners) we left and determined to try something else. My mum's not that easy to please, liking 'British' food - i.e. nothing spicy or garlicy, so fish and chips seemed the best option. Along that little bit of Greenwich Church St there are at least three chippys, but I wanted my mum to be able to sit down and, let's face it, who hasn't been just a little bit intrigued by Beachcomber on the corner?

It's minute (well, downstairs, at least)and choc-a-bloc with genuine kitsch - so very uncool that it's almost back to being so. Dark blue anaglypta dados and white-painted walls underneath a jungle of rubber plants, dodgy 'oil paintings,' mirrors, fake stuffed fish and, when we went there, groaning under cheap red and orange tinsel & fairy lights. The music was much the same - Christmassy, of the Slade variety. The paper-covered tables are crammed next to each other, and, since it was lunchtime, there wasn't a spare seat. Clearly a lot of people like to go to this place for lunch - and that's always a good sign. It could have been claustrophobic but actually it was all rather cosy.

We were lucky in that as we walked in, a table became free, and an effusive manager waved off the previous occupants and whisked us into their vacated seats with a single movement. It was all rather sudden, but after our being totally ignored in the previous place, it was quite nice to get the feeling we were actually wanted. He seemed to be a bit of a double act with the young waiter who was flirting with any woman under the age of 87, and being heartily ticked-off for it by the guy in charge.

The menu card is as big as the place is small. I always find massive amounts of things on menus a bit worrying - it smacks of jacks-of-all-trades, masters-of-none. I was slightly worried that much of it would be assembly-jobs, or reconstituted frozen stuff, so I decided to stick to something simple - the fish and chips.

The portions, like the menu, are huge. I couldn't see my plate underneath the enormous lump of haddock, its accompanying chips and a walloping great dollop of 'tartare' sauce, brought in a dish and doled out by the waiter.

I have to say the food isn't very tasty. It's perfectly ok - both portions of fish were moist and with crispy batter, and definitely the best bit. The chips were big, and ok, but not enjoyable enough for me to manage very many of them. The sauce was a bit odd - more like onion-flavoured mayonnaise. But the mugs of tea were pleasingly orange, and it took us a long way to wade through both the tea and the food. The prices are about average.

So. A reasonable choice for a quick lunch in town, but definitely not a gourmet experience. I'm not sure I would ever visit for an evening meal, but I would go back for lunch again sometime - if only for the friendly, seaside-y experience. I had a peek in the upstairs room when I went to the loo - much the same as downstairs, but not open at the moment - presumably it's reserved for the summer visitor influx - for there's no getting away from the fact that it is mainly a tourist joint.

If you go, do take a peek at the photo at the bottom of the stairs, of the shop perhaps fifty years or longer ago. It was a fishmonger then, and the barrels of different fish and blokes in aprons are well worth seeing.

Killer Boxing Day Quiz

As promised some time ago, a Greenwich Quiz for while you're all sitting around too full to move. I'm told it's impossible, but I accept no responsibility for any ensuing fisticuffs. Most of the questions should be do-able if you've been reading this blog long enough but answers can be found in the first comment....

1. Who wrote "I then asked the poor man if the distemper had not reached to Greenwich. He said it had not till about a fortnight before; but that then he feared it had, but that it was only at that end of the town which lay south towards Deptford Bridge"

2. How many 'bobbles' does the tower of the former Christ Church (The Forum) have left?

3 Where can this splendid fellow be found?

4. Who, or what, does the little memorial in the garden at Ballast Quay, outside the Harbour Master's Office, commemorate?

5. Which notorious pirate came to a mutually-profitable agreement with Queen Elizabeth I at Greenwich?

6. Which town is twinned with Greenwich, and which country is it in?

7. Where was Crowder's Music Hall situated?

8. Where was this picture taken?

9. Where was the Parthenon Palace of Varieties?

10. Who used to hang out at Gambardella's Cafe at the Blackheath Standard?

11. What did Samuel Pepys hear on the 22nd April 1664? Was it

a) News that the Dutch were preparing to invade?

b) A nightingale?

c) Plague-ridden dogs barking at Deptford?

12. Which famous novel has a wedding feast set at The Trafalgar Tavern?

13. Which of the following people, real or fictitious, did NOT visit Greenwich?

A. George Cruikshank

B. Sherlock Holmes

C. Bella Wilfer

D. Voltaire

E. Andre Le Notre

14. Whose statue is plum in the middle of the four main buildings of the Old Royal Naval College?

15. At which soon-to-be-hotel-if rumour-is-to-be-believed could you see this badge?

16. Why would Sir John Evelyn have a hatred of wheelbarrows?

17. Which writer used the pen name Nicholas Blake?

18. What is the Five-Foot Walk?

19. Which American building was directly inspired by The Queen's House?

20. Here is a piece of early advertising for fast food in 1684. At which event was the food served?

Kind master, drink you beer, or ale or brandy?

Walk in, kind sir, this booth is the chief,

We’ll entertain you with a slice of beef,

And what you please to eat or drink, ‘tis here,

No booth, like mine, affords such dainty cheer;

Another crys, Here master, they but scoff ye,

Here is a dish of famous new made coffee.

Well - I said it was hard...

Merry Christmas Everyone

No one wants to read loads of stuff on Christmas Day, so today, I'll just leave you with a selection of seasonal Greenwich pictures.



Happy Christmas, All

The Painted Hall with Yew


Theatre of Wine's Advent window

Greenwich Market

Greenwich Ice Rink

A bench in Greenwich Park

The puppet stall, Greenwich market

The Planetarium's first snow - before it even opened

Greenwich Ice Rink (again)

The Painted Hall (again)

Ghost of Greenwich Christmas Past Part Four

You know, of all the periods of Greenwich's past, comparatively modern times are the most difficult to pin down. I can find stuff out about Henry VIII with virtually no bother, but try winkling out anything at all about how ordinary people celebrated during, say, Edwardian times or the Blitz, and all you meet is a blank. Twenty years are a virtually empty book. At some point, I'll trek all the way up to Colindale and trawl through crusty, yellowed copies Ye Olde News Shoppere c.1830, but for now, we'll just have to content ourselves with snippets...

Once the King had left Greenwich for palaces west of here, the town started to become more industrialised. Now servicing Greenwich Hospital and The Observatory rather than the court, the town became more commercial too - as well as doing what it had always done - fishing.

I can't find much out yet about how the pensioners celebrated Christmas (try googling "pensioner," "Greenwich" and "Christmas" and you'll see what I mean) so More Research Needs To Be Done. But for now, I'm assuming they got an extra tot of rum (the authorities reckoned that since these old sea dogs had lived on rum for their whole lives it would be unfair not to let them continue to live a sozzled life on land) and I did find reference, from John Evelyn's diary 1705, to Christmas carol songsheets in pensioner's cabins. Images of hearty sing-songs, possibly not with all the original words, gladden my heart.

There's a slightly sickly picture from a 1905 Pears Annual to be seen here, which depicts a Greenwich Pensioner saluting a bust of Lord Nelson - somewhat fancifully, since they were disbanded in 1865 - and presented with the same gooey sentiment that brought us Bubbles. Rather oddly, the accompanying description doesn't seem to fit the picture at all, telling us the pensioner is in front of Nelson's funeral barge and only has one leg. There are two legs. Count 'em, Jim. Two.

After the pensioners got booted out, the place became a royal naval school. Again, not much on Christmas, but I did find this, from the Illustrated London News 1848:

Great attention is paid to the dietary, which consists of cocoa and bread for breakfast; for dinner, meat and pudding on alternate days, with beer and potatoes; and bread and milk for supper. On each of the four annual festivals, and on Christmas Day, the Boys have roast beef and plum pudding.

http://www.mariners-l.co.uk/

But of the ordinary people? Nothing. Not a bean. Zilch. But here's a suitably Dickensian picture until I can find out some more...


One more snippet of Christmas trivia before I have to draw a veil over my research capabilities. On Christmas Day, 1886, at a meeting in the Royal Oak pub next door to Woolwich Arsenal station, it was decided to change the name of the Dial Square Football Club to Royal Arsenal.

But of the 20th century, so far, I have nothing. If any of you older folk out there have any fab Christmas memories to share, I would LOVE to hear them.

Advent Window Number Twenty Four

The last outing for the Great Advent Window Experiment. And I have to say I will miss it. There have been some fabulous windows and some not so fabulous, but all have been intriguing and made with a good heart. And not a chocolate in sight. I hope they do it again next year.

Today, as with December 24th in all great traditional advent calendars, is the crib scene. It is, of course, back where it all started, in St Alfege's church, ready for tonight's candlelit midnight mass.

It apparently has 'a difference,' and is created by the appropriately named Jon Bishop.

Well done, windowers, and thank you...

Advent Window Number Twenty Three

Now. This one's a bit complicated. Let me see if I can get this right.

For a festive walk around the windows, gather at 4.30pm this afternoon 'under the Christmas Tree' at St Alfeges (I'm assuming 'around' the tree will do just as well...) Merry caroling there will take place then the walk will take us to

• St Alfege's School,
• Greenwich Printmakers
• James Wolfe School.

The next meeting spot is at 6.00pm, at 58 Royal Hill, where we can see today's window The Sky at Night, and warm up with some drinks and hot soup courtesy of the window dressers. next comes

• 40 Royal Hill
• 41 Gloucester Circus
• 124 King George Street
• St Alfege Sunday School 17 Point Hill
• 23 Westgrove Lane

At 7.15, the carols will take place at

88 Ashburnham Grove then drinks until 8.00pm in the Ashburnham Arms

Still following this? I have no idea whether this marathon will still be on schedule by 8.00pm, but assuming it is, next will be

• 213 Greenwich High Road
• 20 Circus Street
• Serica Court, 154 Greenwich High Road

Followed by, at 8.30pm

• 10, St Alfege's Passage
• Pets and the City
• The Angels, Nelson Road

And at 9.00pm

• 2 King William Walk
• Meridian Money Advice, Park Vista
• Theatre of Wine,
• Meridian School, Old Woolwich Road
• 15 Crane Street
• Greenwich University,
• Old RN College,

And if you're still standing after that lot, they're planning to repair to the Trafalgar Tavern for drinks afterwards. Feel free to just go to some of it rather than the whole event, and wear sensible shoes, ok? Oh - And don't forget your lantern...

Ghost of Greenwich Christmas Past Part Three

We're leaving the true glory days of Greenwich Christmas now. Henry had loved the bracing air of Greenwich, and to some extent his kids liked it too, but it somehow it wasn't ever quite the same. Sickly young Edward VI wasn't a patch on his hearty old dad, though he made a fist of Christmas when he was up to it. He lived in Duke Humphrey's Tower, up the hill, where the Royal Observatory is now, and had his Christmas there in 1552.

His half-sister, 'Bloody' Mary, was right-royal party-pooper. She spent most of her time rampaging round the country, murdering protestants, but she did draw breath occasionally to raise a smirk. She liked bear baiting (continuing with the 'bloody' theme, presumably) and watching troops trooping. One historian, Strype, remembers that she liked acrobats too. One year, "After her Majesty had reviewed the royal pensioners in Greenwich Park, there came a tumbler, and played many pretty feats, the Queen and Cardinal Pole looking on; whereat she was observed to laugh heartily."

Queen Elizabeth I's Christmases rivalled - perhaps even bettered - those of her father's, but they weren't always at Greenwich. Admittedly, most of the time she was here - she had ties - not least that wagging tongues whispered she'd been conceived during the Christmas revelries in 1532, but she also raved it up at Hampton Court, Whitehall and Nonesuch Palace (in south west London, near The Phantom Webmaster - quite a pile, apparently, now totally dead.)

Elizabeth loved celebrating everything going, and she wanted everyone to have a good time. She included the tenants and villagers in her monster festivities, as well as the entire court. Of course she had no intention of actually paying for any of it, and her enormous retinue progressed around the country like a plague of locusts, in turn bestowing the honour of stripping each local toff of his cash.

Dancing, plays, music and gambling were all popular and gift-giving - mainly to the Queen - took place on New Year's Day, not Christmas. She expected Lavish. It was unlikely that they'd manage to outdo Robert Dudley who gave her the world's first wristwatch one year, but she wasn't too bothered as long as the gifts were expensive.

It was important not to get caught out like the Earl of Ormonde, whose Christmas present was noted down as being A Bit Rubbish: "three feyer diamonds and two smaller; in the top a branche garneshed with six small diamonds, thre small rubyes, and 3 very meane perle" or Sir Edward Horsey who had the effrontery to send "a cheyne of pomaunder with a verey small ragged perle." I assume the wind blew just that little bit chillier around those particular courtly necks during the next few months...

Acceptable gifts included:

• Gold coins


• Perfume


• Pomanders


• Sweeties


• Jewelled fans


• Mirrors


• Embroidery


• Gloves


• Anything including precious jewels


• Ruffs


• Hats


• Anything in Satin or Silk

But it's the thought that counts and she didn't mind if her more lowly subjects made things for her. http://www.elizabethan.org/ tells me that her Master Cook made her a nice chessboard and men out of marzipan, and her doctor put together a pot of green ginger. The Cutler gave her a fancy knife and the Sergeant of the Pastry (what a title...) made her a gilded quince pie.

So what could you expect from her? Well, for many, just seeing the look of joy on the Queen's face was presumed enough, but if you were lucky, you got the Tudor equivalent of the book token - a voucher which would allow you a silver cup - its weight depending on how important to the Queen you were, though never quite as sumptuous as the pressie you gave her. She was also an awful present-recycler - giving courtiers things other courtiers had given her that she didn't like.

Presumably she did exactly that with the Duke of Anjou's jewelled anchor brooch, but in some respects you can't blame her. He had arrived some time earlier to woo her; she wasn't interested but he just wouldn't go home. She'd even tried to imply that she wouldn't expect an expensive present if he went home before Christmas, but he just didn't get the hint. She finally got rid of him in February.

Not that she didn't like male company. She expected all her male courtiers to hang on her every whim for the whole festive period. Their wives had to sit at home and twiddle their thumbs.

But Mary wasn't the only person who could persecute people of other religions and Elizabeth burnt her fair share of Catholics at the stake. Shades of her bloody sister hung over festivities at Greenwich in 1586 when Elizabeth finally got around to sending her cousin the kind of Christmas card nobody wants - a death warrant...

After the queen's death, things really went downhill for Royal Greenwich. King James was a feeble, miserable, sickly type and he didn't like the draughts that howled around the now decidedly-tatty Placentia. He was much happier in the warmth of Whitehall. And it got worse - in the 1680s Oliver Cromwell actually banned Christmas altogether. Even on the Restoration, Charles II might have been fond of Greenwich, but he was far too busy having a riotous time in town to brave what was by now a royal building site. William and Mary had spent a fortune doing up Hampton Court, so they decamped over there.

There was one final Royal Christmas - next door in Deptford, when Peter the Great of Russia ate poor old John Evelyn out of house, home and hedge at Christmas 1697. After that it all went totally pear-shaped. The Georges weren't interested - Brighton appealed to the Prince Regent more than London. Victoria sat around being miserable in Osborne House and Windsor Castle.

Greenwich was finally for the people.

Advent Window Number Twenty Two

Today's is very appropriate for the position inthe advent calendar - Expectancy, a window about Mary and Joseph looking for somewhere to stay. Ahhh.

Find it at 2, King William Walk, SE10 9JH

Ice Rinks

Ok, who's been on the ice rink at the Old Royal Naval College yet, then? I went for a nose yesterday - I wasn't wearing the right clobber to get on the ice but I wanted to check out the facilities.

I have to say it does look a hell of a lot better without that wretched marquee between the rink and the river - and the tree in the middle certainly gives it a festive feel. I really love the melding of ancient and modern with the tops of the skyscrapers of Canary Wharf framed by the two flanks of the ORNC (I know many hate that view but I think it's great) and the skaters in front just enhance the picture. I can't help wishing that they'd tarted up the generator box - maybe they could have disguised it as a giant present or something, but to be honest it doesn't show too much.

It's easy to get in as a spectator, just wander round - as I did - and sit, freezing, among the colonnades clasping a cup of cocoa from the surprisingly well-stocked coffee bar. The ice doesn't look too spongey and when I looked there were no tell-tale puddles - maybe it had just had a re-freeze. It seemed moderately full but not stupidly crowded.

So - it's looking good. I don't know how booked up it is at the moment -presumably it will go berserk next week. Grab those mince pounds (I have saved up several by now - all I have to do is remember to actually bring them with me) and get skating...

I had a look at the O2 'ice disco' too. An altogether more po-faced affair. It looks as though you need to be reasonably competent to even get on that one (which rules me out) and the music is bloomin' deafening (though maybe I'm just getting old...) It's ok if it's raining, I guess, but at eleven quid it's more expensive than the town centre one - and just - well - not as pretty. I preferred the beach. The food and drink don't look as good either (though there is plenty of choice if you care to move a few feet away from the rink.) On the other hand, they have to fill up that vast space with something and an ice rink is as good as anything. I'm always staggered by the amount of space they haven't filled up in there yet. No wonder the Corporate Fun of the Millennium Exhibition was so rubbish.

Has anyone actually tried either of these yet? Am I right in thinking the town centre one is nicer?

Advent Window Number Twenty One

Angels can be found at 20, Circus St, SE10 8SN

Valerie Dressmaker

The Village, Charlton, SE7

A tiny, hidden gem today, nestled in the shadow of Charlton House. I don't get to go east instead of south or north as much as I would like but I noticed this curious little store during a night-time visit to The Big House and have taken this long to get back during daylight hours to check it out when the shutters are up.

It's a quaint, old-fashioned wool and haberdashery shop - Andrekabu - sit up straight at the back there - which sells all manner of fabric-y frippery, knitting nonsense and novelty notions that are nigh-on impossible to find in this neck of the woods.

There's a lot of wool. The whole of one wall is covered in shelves full of different types of knitting yarn, patterns pinned and pegged around the edges, jostling with printed tapestry kits. Actually, there isn't a spare spot of wall left, after all the drawers of buttons, boxes of trimmings, trays of greetings cards, wheels of glass-headed pins, racks of ribbon and spools of thread. Tiny tubes of ribbon rosebuds, minute buttons for dollies' clothes, cards of elastic and piles of Vilene. Not much of any one particular thing, but a wide range of types of thing. And following the long tradition of these shops stocking wedding and party paraphernalia, nestled among the reels of cotton and lengths of lace, lie satin gloves and diamante tiaras. By the door, in between the knitting patterns for bootees and lengths of bobble-trimming for 1970s lampshades hang several garish feather boas.

Do you know that bit in Alice Through The Looking Glass where she visits the sheep's shop? she can see through her peripheral vision that the shop is choc-a-bloc, but when she tries to focus on any one shelf it seems to be empty. I sort of get that feeling in this place. As I write this, in my mind's eye, it is jammed with glass cabinets full of fake flower corsages, bargain bins full of remnants and shelves-to-the-ceiling full of intriguing-looking brown cardboard boxes with ageing tissue paper-wappings peeking out from their lids, but when I try to think of any one specific place, the vision becomes hazy.

What isn't hazy is the middle-aged lady in a nylon housecoat sitting at an ancient sewing machine at the back. This, I presume, is the titular Valerie, and although she will stop her sewing to help you, she doesn't immediately do so - you are left to browse, something I appreciate. She tells me that she does alterations and makes clothes to order - a handy little thing to remember, though she is adamant she is a dressmaker, rather than a tailor.

I was surprised to find this little place - somewhere well worth remembering when you need those funny little things that nowhere else will sell. More like something out of Wallace & Gromit than a London suburb, its just the kind of store that needs to be cherished. It's right in the middle of Charlton Village, which means a bus ride if you don't drive, but worth it just for the novelty value - and a chat with Valerie...

Advent Window Number Twenty

Sunrise on the Beach will be opened at 4.30pm today. Go to 88 Ashburnham Grove, SE10 8UJ.

Greenwich Eye

Hey - I just read in the Mercury that the go-ahead has been given for an observation wheel a la The London Eye next summer - just for the summer months, outside the Pepys Centre. I know grump-mongers moaned about this and it got rejected at first but I for one am delighted the decision has been overturned. We can debate forever about whether it would have been an even better view from Blackheath but I just don't buy that it would be a terrible eyesore when you look at all the (permanent) construction going on around here just now. I think it's fantastic news. You'll have to elbow me out of the way if you want front place in the queue...

Technorati

Sorry about this folks - this is an annoying widget that will go once my Technorati Profile is live...

Apparently I rank 360,865th in whatever system Technorati uses. Cool. I have no idea how they work it out. I expected to be at least in the millions. Of course that could just be in Greenwich blog rankings...

Nah. They must have it wrong. But thank you to my two fans who have tipped me a wink there already. Presumably you know more about how this all works than me. Cheersies to the pair of you - I'm still trying to work out how to even find your respective blogs. Just call me the Phantom Luddite.

Ghost of Greenwich Christmas Past Part Two

Here we come a-wassailing 'mong Greenwich leaves so green...

A bit of a marathon today - both to write, and, I suspect, to read. Maybe I should have broken this one up. Such is Henry - a mountain of a man in pretty much every respect.

Greenwich really came into her own - and has never really shone quite as brightly since - in the days of Good King Henry (VIII - or, if you're Benedict, we'll call him Good King Keith for clarity's sake.)

He might have been brought up in Eltham - but as a seafaring King, Henry wanted to be by the water and Placentia, (pretty much underneath the Old Royal Naval College) was ideal. He spent 17 Christmases in Greenwich and inordinate amounts of cash on masques, balls, jousting - and food. Spiced boar, roast swan, marchpane and 'subtleties' (enormous sugar centrepieces, often quite rude) were the kind of thing he would have consumed in large quantities, downed with copious amounts of Wassail (a sort of mulled ale.)

Curiously, Christmas Day wasn't the biggest time in the Tudor festival - it was twelve days long and the real day of celebration was actually January 6th - Twelfth Night. On that day everyone ate cake and if your slice contained a dried bean, you would be made King or Queen of the Bean and be in charge of the fun and games. Of course it wasn't usually a totally random thing, and courtiers must have been swapping plates of cake like nobody's business, trying to keep up with Henry's latest favourites. "Now let me see. The plate with the dried pea has the pellet with the poison..." They still have the custom in France - you can buy Galette du Rois in every baker's shop, complete with a little gold paper crown, around this time of year.

We're lucky in that there's documentation about these events - Hall's Chronicle, which is so quaint that I make no aoplogy for quoting large chunks of it today.

On the daie of the Epiphanie, at night, the King with XI others, wer disguised after the maner of Italie, called a maske, a thing not seen afore in England; thei were appareled in garments long and brode, wrought all with gold, with visers and cappes of gold; and after the banket doen, these maskers came in with six gentlemen disguised in silke, bearing staffe torches, and desired the ladies to daunce: some were content, and some that new the fashion of it refused, because it was a thing not commonly seen. And after thei daunced and communed together, as the fashion of the maske is, thei tooke their leave and departed, and so did the quene and all the ladies.

What I love about Henry is his complete confidence in himself as the Renaissance Man. He could do everything - dance, sing, play (and of course, rule with a rod of iron) and in his younger days he does seem to have been quite the chevalier. He's widely credited with writing that scourge of the call centre, Greensleeves, often presented as What Child is This? at Christmas time, but he was not beyond enjoying a huge dollop of flattery from time to time. At his Christmas celebrations, he would insist that everyone wore masks for the dancing, and then 'astonish' everyone present when the best dancer of all turned out to be the King himself. Oh, how we laughed...

The kneesup in 1516 where Henry "kept the feast of Christmas at Greenwich where was such abundance of viands served, to all corners of any honest behaviours, as hath been few times seen" is described in detail.

...And against New Year's night was made, in the hall, a castle, gates, towers and dungeon, garnished with artillery and weapons, after the most warlike fashion. And on the front of the castle was written, Le Fortresse dangerus, and within the castle were six ladies clothed in russet satin laid all over with leafs of gold, and every hood knit with laces of blue silk and gold.

The king himself took the best part in the show, of course, leading the assault on the castle. I love the bit of the account where the ladies, who "seeing them so lusty and courageous, were content to solace with them." And wouldn't you?

In 1517 he held a splendid joust, "with great and plentiful cheer" and he continued to keep Christmas at Greenwich in 1521, 25, 26 and 27 (when he entertained the French Embassy which consisted, perplexingly, of "eight persons of high quality" and "six hundred horse." Hmm.)

In 1528, Anne Bolyen was secreted in fancy apartments near the celebrations so that Henry could slip away amidst the celebrations. By 1529, poor old Catherine of Aragon, who had clearly seen the writing on the wall, was sent off to Richmond out of the King's way, but there was such a public outcry that she was brought back to Greenwich for the festival, being carted back off to Richmond immediately afterwards. 1530, she was wheeled out just for Christmas (I can only imagine the atmosphere at the Christmas dinner table - Anne holding one end of the cracker, Catherine the other, ahem...) but by 1531 Henry not only wouldn't invite her, he didn't even send her a pressie. A classic dysfunctional family Christmas. As usual.

1533 saw Baby's First Christmas - Elizabeth had been born in September, a lull in Henry's extraordinarily complicated love life. But he never let much get him down, especially at Christmas. In 1537, things should have been a bit strained - Henry had cut off Anne Boleyn's head a few months before - but somehow he dragged up the strength to cross the frozen Thames to Greenwich with his new bird Jane Seymour and have the Scots nobles he'd taken prisoner at Salom Moss join him round the Christmas pud where he "gave them their liberty without ransom."

More awkwardness in 1540 when Henry married mail-order bride Anne of Cleves on Twelfth Night and realised that the description of her beauty may have been exaggerated. And so on. Whatever History makes of Henry VIII, he certainly loved Greenwich, for which I can forgive him much.

I don't know about you, but although this must be the most regal, sumptuous and glorious time that Greenwich has ever known, I find it almost impossible to visualise the scene. Perhaps it's because virtually nothing remains of this time in today's town - the odd bit of crypt or a tiny bit of wall at best. There was the tiled floor of the chapel they discovered last year, but they covered it up so fast that we didn't even get a peek (forcing me to climb a fence in the dark in order to see it. I felt like a criminal. Ok, so I was...) It is now, one of the only bits remaining of Good King Keith's time, a car park. Go figure.

Advent Window Number Nineteen

Lifting the Burden of Debt as the theme for an Advent window? Well - I guess it could work.

All will be revealed today at Meridian Money Advice, Rossall, Park Vista, SE10 9LZ

Hand Made Foods (Upstairs)

Tranquil Vale, SE3

We all know how good Hand Made Foods fare is - excruciatingly expensive, of course, but utterly wonderful. That pastry, those tarts, those pies, those salads - every single dish is fabulous - and frankly, for quality this high, I'm happy to push the boat out from time to time.

Only one real problem. Where to sit whilst eating it. The shop is tiny and most of the interior was taken up with - well - food, and the odd bar-place. Outside, the little wooden tables are a wonderful way to while away a lazy half-hour but try getting one. Short of hovering over some poor sod who may or may not be finishing and then fighting off three other would-be munchers with elbows and carrier bags - so uncivilised - only the takeaway option remained.

But what's the alternative? Expansion? Trouble is, that virtually every expansion I've ever witnessed has seen a corresponding contraction in quality. (Has anyone else been to Maison Bertaux since it expanded? Twice the price and half the atmosphere.) First it's next door, then it's a small chain, next thing you know it's become a 'brand' and private equity funds are sniffing around (Cue Patisserie Valerie, since we're sort-of in Soho for this paragraph...) Somehow I feel more abandoned by small, cute companies that have expanded to the point of being stock exchange fodder than the big multinationals that never pretended to be anything else.

Hand Made Foods, happily still a long way from being buyout-ammo, has found a half-way house - albeit only a temporary one. They've expanded upstairs. And it's charming. What was clearly the original shopkeeper's old front parlour, complete with fireplace and homely feel has been simply painted, given a couple of funky pictures and a few old wooden kitchen tables and mis-matched chairs and opened as an upstairs eating area. The pics are good - I like the circular one above the mantel, though I confess I was sorely tempted to colour-in the oneimmediately above my place - it's exactly like a giant version of those 'painting by numbers' kits you get as a kid.

It's still a bit of a bunfight to get a seat, but not as bad as it was. I couldn't decide (as usual) so contrived to eat various pies and pastries vicariously through the people I was with ("Oooh - that one looks amazing, doesn't it, George...") and although I was actually brought the wrong item (something I didn't realise until I bit into it) it was so good I didn't complain - I'll just have to have what I originally ordered next time...

The problem is already beginning to resurface though. Even six months after they first opened upstairs, you already have to check there's somewhere to sit before you make any choices. I just hope they have a third floor.

But the food is as incredible as ever. As one of my companions remarked "It's the sort of food you'd make yourself if you had the time. And the ingredients. And the energy. And the skill..."

Advent Window Number Eighteen

Hop over to 124 King George St, SE10 8PX for today's window, The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Ghost of Greenwich Christmas Past Part One

I guess Christmas has always been celebrated in some form or other here - or at least since AD 350 when Pope Julius I decided to hijack the old pagan Solstice kneesup and declare Christmas to be December 25th. But there were some years when it was rather more lavish than others - mostly during the times when sundry monarchs decided to hold their parties in one or other of their South East London palaces...

Things really started to hot up in early medieval times, though at this point I have to cheat a little and talk about the borough of Greenwich rather than the town (it's hardly the first time I've done that - and I make no apology - if it's interesting, I'll creep it in...)

Eltham Palace was one of Richard II's favourite pads and he spent a lot of time carousing round the town with his mates. He really pushed the boat out at his Christmas celebrations at Eltham in 1386, mainly to impress the King of Armenia who was visiting. His accountants tried to hold back his spending, but it was no good. Richard spent so much cash on outrageous outfits and second helpings of trifle that the royal coffers started to look very empty indeed. It was only by nefarious means that he managed to refill them, which caused no end of annoyed peasants (who'd already revolted once but were getting mighty grumpy again...)

Henry IV was not Richard's son, of course. All kinds of jiggery-pokery went on during the 14th century as various people tried to get their paws on the crown, mainly under the guise of wanting to get rid of the current incumbent's sleaze. Even once Henry had got the crown on his head, he had to look out for sundry nobles who wanted it for themselves. And what better time to assassinate the king than while he was celebrating?

The plan went like this. Sir John Oldcastle, Henry's old mate and now sworn enemy, would get a bunch of thugs to dress up as mummers and pretend to put on a play for Twelfth Night. During the fun they'd kidnap His Majesty. Someone let the cat out of the bag and Oldcastle was sent to the Tower, but it didn't stop a few of the guys - who had presumably already made their costumes - from having a pop anyway. The got caught of course, though at least Oldcastle lives on as Shakespeare's Sir John Falstaff.

Another attempt on Henry's life, this time by the Duke of York at Eltham, Christmas 1403, was also easily foiled. The Tudors were here to stay.

Jumping forward to 1482, Edward IV and something we can actually see. He had just finished that splendid hammer-beam ceiling in the great hall and wanted to show off. Fitting 2,000 of his closest friends in there must have been a bit of a squeeze, but it conjures quite a vision.

And that's the great thing about Eltham - we can still see where all this took place. Walking around it, it's not difficult to imagine the scene - evergreen decked around the walls, a walloping great yule log burning (presumably rather close to several of those 2,000 courtiers...)

Yule logs, by the way, were brought in by the Vikings who, when they weren't chucking bones at poor old St Alfege, celebrated Yule, their festival of light, by making bonfires.

Christians had nicked the date, they might as well pinch the customs too. A massive great log would be cut on Christmas eve, dragged into the hall, decorated and set on fire. It would burn for the 12 Days of Christmas, during which all kinds of merry making took place. You were supposed to keep a bit of it to kindle next year's log.

Greenwich Christmas really got cooking during the court of Henry VIII - but that's for another day.

Advent Window Number Seventeen

Lead, Kindly Light, is today's advent window. Find it at 15, Crane St, SE10 9NP

Advent Window Number Sixteen

The blurb about today's event for He Who Loves Justice is rather long, so I'm just going to reproduce it here, Lock, Stock and Carol...

Come and join us to share an Advent message of justice, equality and hope as witnessed through the different faiths of our neighbourhood. Listen to readings from Christianity, Islam, Hinduism and the Jewish prayer book and pause to remember those brave people who take a lonely stand for justice against all odds. Celebrate "Las Posadas" with us with doughnuts, mulled wine and non alcoholic refreshments and watch the children's procession of lanterns to create our advent window.

From 4.00pm to 5.00pm.St. Alfege Sunday School, 17, Point Hill, SE10 8QW

Well. There you have it.

They Work For You

I have been meaning to talk about this for so long that it almost seems like old news - but hey - I just got round to it. I have to say you haven't missed much in the months I prevaricated though...

It's called http://www.theyworkforyou.com/ and it's a service where you can send messages to your MP -among other things, and sign up for an email notification every time they speak in the House. Ours is Nick Raynsford, of course, and I can guarantee you're not going to get inundated with emails. Most of them consist of comments of the "Hear, hear" variety and disclosures of interest whenever new-build housing is mentioned.

Still, I guess he is at least telling us about his chairmanship of the Construction Industry Council and the National Housebuilding Council, disclosure not being a common thing in the government just now. Just don't expect any support for objections to new-builds in the area...

The site logs all kinds of things about our MPs - from the important - how many times Our Nick spoke in parliament (average), replied to written questions (well below average) voted (above average,) - to the frivolous - did you know he used three-word alliterative phrases ('she sells sea-shells') 533 times in debates last year - well above, apparently, the national average.

There you go - something to be proud of...

Advent Window Number Fifteen

Right. Today's window has an official opening where you can drink mulled wine, eat mince pies and, er, buy poetry about the environment and climate change. From 6.00pm till 7.00pm.

The theme, fittingly enough, is Greenwich Underwater. Bet they've been watching that movie Flood...

41, Gloucester Circus, SE10 8RY