The Phantom is Away...

Folks - I'm not going to be around for a couple of days. Don't worry - posts will arrive "as if by magic" including where to find the weekend's live advent windows (do let me know what you think of them) but in the meanwhile - a few things you shouldn't miss this weekend even if I'm going to...

This afternoon (Friday 30th Nov) Greenwich's Christmas lights will be lit and festive stuff will be going on all afternoon.

Tomorrow there are open studios at Cockpit Arts and Maze Hill Pottery and on Sunday there are Christmas Carols at East Greenwich Pleasaunce in the afternoon (3.00pm, if memory serves...) Also sees the launch of East Greenwich Traders Association's website. It's not up yet but will go live tomorrow with events around East Greenwich from 11.30am. www.livegreenwich.co.uk

Right. I'm off. Normal service will resume on Monday, but in the meanwhile, let me know what the lights are like!

The Museum of Mr Cottingham

The more I delve into dark corners of the Internet, the more peculiar the discoveries become. I can't actually remember what I was trying to find when I came across an article from The Gentleman's Magazine in 1851. It went on at length about the way that institutions such as The British Museum tended towards the more exotic artifacts - those of Rome, Egypt and Greece "and even the barbarous sculptures of nations less cultivated so long as they come from a distance" over English medieval sculpture and architecture.

It then went on to praise the private museum of a Mr Cottingham who had collected all kinds of medieval paraphernalia and put it on show to the public in his basement. The Gentleman's Magazine was particularly upset because, since Cottingham's demise, the collection wasn't appealing enough to any 'proper' museum and it was to be sold off piecemeal - and probably dispersed.

It took me a fair amount of rootling around to find out who the hell this Mr Cottingham was, and there's not much out there. But from what I can find, Lewis Nockalls Cottingham was a Regency architect who was responsible for most of the area around Vauxhall/Waterloo (now mainly demolished by Waterloo Station, WWII and sundry arterial roads.) He was fascinated by medieval art - and has been credited with being the herald to the Victorian Gothic Revival. He set up his museum in Waterloo Bridge Road, and it would seem that he was the Sir John Soane of his day - collecting stuff of no real interest to most, but of great importance to the bigger picture. Among his very odd collection featured sculptures, plaster casts and bits of old houses - including an entire Elizabethan ceiling - long before that kind of thing was thought of as worth saving.

So why is this of interest to us? Because, The Gentleman's Magazine was firmly of the opinion that the collection should not be broken up, but should be moved wholesale to Greenwich Park. It argued that, much like the Royal Artillery Museum in Woolwich, it could be moved to "a suburban locality." Greenwich, it considered, was the best choice because of the "water access" but they weren't bothered about the actual venue being particularly beautiful "for it requires no lordly building, but merely such shelter as is afforded by the terminus of a railway station" (mind you they knew how to build those then, too...) and since it was only going to be out of the way of gentlefolk, "a few well-lighted barns" would do.

Sadly Greenwich never got this cornucopia of capitols, canopies, fonts, piscinae etc. This was just before it was acceptable to move cultural things out of the centre of London (though only the following year, the beautiful Crystal Palace was moved from Hyde Park after The Great Exhibition, down to Sydenham.) The authorities just weren't interested in saving Mr Cottingham's Museum and despite public outcry (from what I can tell, it wasn't just The Gentleman's Magazine that was outraged) flogged the lot off by auction. One or two bits and bobs ended up in the V&A. The rest - heaven knows.

But this interests me is that it was perhaps the start of Greenwich's magpie eye for taking other people's leftovers. We like to collect things that don't have a home. Only a couple of weeks ago, we had that cannon "back" that the Naval School didn't need any more. We had The Gipsy Moth (even if we didn't look after it and it was taken away from us) and The Cutty Sark (hmm - even if we don't seem to have learned many lessons from looking after the Gipsy Moth...) Over at Ranger's House, we're being a bit more circumspect - the magnificent - if extremely weird - Wernher Collection does much the same thing as Cottingham's, only with gold, silver and diamond knobs on - a collection without a home finally finding a little peace in a house without a collection.

By the way - did anyone ever hear whether we managed to adopt what was left of the Baltic Exchange (?) a couple of years back? It was mouldering in a junk yard and Greenwich Council offered to have it (though I don't know what they were going to do with it. Perhaps Greenwich Council has a giant garden shed full of things that "might come in useful.") Then it all went very quiet...

Family Pubs

Folks - we just can't get away from pubbery this week!

Tiffany asks:

Are there any proper pubs that don't mind a quiet baby in the late afternoons/early evenings?

The Phantom replies:

This isn't really one for me. I really need to hand this over to the parents who will have far more idea of good places...

Flamsteed's Well

John Flamsteed was by all accounts A Grumpy Old Sod. Britain's first Astronomer Royal might have been a mathematical genius, but stuck away in the Royal Observatory more or less on his own for years on end, being constantly freezing cold, having to stay up all night, being paid bugger-all and having to buy his equipment out of his own money made him generally hard work to be with.

On the other hand it did make him thrifty. And not only that, he was genuinely curious about the night sky and the wonders of the universe. He was prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to find out more about the world - and because virtually everything to do with scientific instrumentation was still being invented, he was quite happy to look at everything around him with an improvisatory eye.

The Observatory had been built out of all kinds of bits and bobs - anything that Sir Christopher Wren could lay his hands on - from rubble purloined from the demolition of part of the Tower of London to whatever was left of poor old Duke Humphrey's Tower (which is pretty much why it's where it is - building on top of the old stronghold, one of Greenwich's earliest brownfield sites, meant that there was less lugging heavy dressed stone around...)

Flamsteed realised that the longer he could get a telescope the better he'd be able to see the heavens, but then, as now, money for research was tight. He was very impressed with his mate Robert Hooke's ingenious way of funding a telescope in the centre of London, by sneaking it into his design for The Monument in the early 1670s - the spiral staircase that winds around the outside meant that they could fit a giant telescope down the middle.

I find it hard to believe that Flamsteed actually went to the expense of digging a 100ft hole round the back of the Observatory for his own version in 1676 - but it would make perfect sense if he used Duke Humphrey's old well for the job. Flamsteed installed 150 spiral steps all the way down, and put a dear little cupola top on it. He then put his telescope down it, the idea being he would lie on a mattress and peer through the pipe.

Sadly it was never much cop. I'm slowly beginning to understand why Flamsteed was such a miserable git. The telescope was really rather wobbly and even if it could be fixed it could only look at a tiny part of the sky. What's worse was that lenses were pretty crude in those days too. It was abandoned almost immediately for other designs which presumably worked somewhat better.

The picture here is all that's left of the well - for years it was covered completely - when A D Webster wrote about it in 1902 there was merely a pole marking its position.

A few years ago there was a small archaeological dig to uncover the well - but they didn't get very far down through the rubble and detritus that had been used to fill it up before, presumably, the cash ran out for that particular project too. It is possible to at least see the top these days, though I'm not sure if the brick surround is original. I would love to see it uncovered just to a few feet down to give us some idea of what it would have been like, but as it is, it's filled in with gravel these days.

La Fleur

Royal Hill, SE10

I have often walked down this street before

But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before...

What a delight. I have been meaning to try La Fleur properly for ages - it just looked so lovely from the outside. But I always seemed to have just had a cup of tea (funny that - must be the proxmity of Royal Teas and Buenos Aires) and the most I have got around to was buying plants.

Walking past a few days ago, though, I just couldn't resist the Christmas display (all white branches and clear sparkles against the pale sagey-green of the paintwork, with wonderful winter flowers - cyclamen, narcissus, holly and ivy) and just had to go in. I'm sure there are more tables and chairs in there since the last time I was there - I could have sworn there were only a couple of tables before. There are now at least four - though of course the tiny space itself hasn't increased, and the jungle of ferns, palms and even a baby olive tree, its grey-silver leaves looking fabulous against the tasteful cream walls. Also looking great are the 'gardening tools' and coloured wellies hung as decoration in the few gaps left by the greenery.

The tables are suitably rustic - French style, which considering the French voices at the till while I was there (aha - those Holmesian deduction skills again) is hardly surprising. The service is incredibly friendly. I was hardly ordering a feast - a coffee and a tea - but the attention to detail to getting my order exactly to my taste was impressive. It's amazing how much difference really good service makes - I just knew I was going to enjoy it when it arrived.

They do simple snacks too, and I fancied a cake, even though I knew I shouldn't have one. My willpower is low at the best of times but even I was able to resist that day. Why? Because I can't resist cakes if I see them, but I can resist description. They didn't have sweeties on display so I had to ask about them. By the time they'd told me what cakes they had, I had regrouped and was able to say "no thank you I don't really feel like it." Almost convincingly. A bunch of antique glass cake stands on the dresser filled with exquisite dainties and covered with cloches would have made a sale out of me without a sweat.

But hey. I love this place and the experience, just with the beverages, was great.

I wanted to test the loos (as I always do) and was directed into the most beautiful, minute, private back yard imaginable. In it were a few more tables, nestling among yet more fernery - utterly delightful (though far too cold and wet at the moment, natch...) The loo (once I found it amongst all that greenery) was splendid - clean and bright.

They're doing some rather charming Christmas decorations at the moment, which glitter and glimmer darkly in the shop, sparklies mixing with berries - very tasteful. And as for that dresser - there may not be any cakes on glass stands but they do have boxes of posh chocolates in holly-print boxes - very pretty.

The Phantom says check it out - possibly my fave place for afternoon tea - so far. I t could even become a Phantom favourite Haunt...

The Telegraph Inn?

We're having a pub-sort of week here...

Geri asks:

I do genealogical research into my Newell family. I had a long ago relative that owned a place called "The Telegraph Inn" on Maidenstone Hill in Greenwich. Do you know if the building is still around, and/or if there is a pub or Inn there? I come to London every summer, and would go for a pint if it was there.

It's at 1, Telegraph Place, Maidenstone Hill.

I was working on this "pub" part of my family into the wee hours of the morning, and have discovered there were 3 other pubs, with unknown names,but I have the addresses. Just on the off chance that you know something,I'll give you the addresses. They are all in Greenwich, and all the pubs were owned by the Hanscomb family.

8 Bath Street
6 Straightsmouth
16 Langdale

The Phantom Replies:

Geri - I found the genealogical reference you did - and it says they were there by 1904 but I don't know of anything like that there now. I actually went all the way along Maidenstone Hill this morning just in case I was wrong - but I can't find any pub of any description - and nor can I find a Telegraph Place. There is a very odd bit of road where Maidenstone Hill seems to split into two and both bits seem to be called "Maidenstone Hill" - so maybe one of these was once your Telegraph Place. The nearest Telegraph Place I know of is in the Isle of Dogs.

It's hardly surprising that the pub's gone - they seem to be an endangered species nowadays - either being turned into flats or just bulldozed - as in the case of the poor old Penny Black a few months ago.

Even more embarrassing I don't know of a Bath St in Greenwich, (it could have once been around the Georgian/Regency areas - Bath was very fashionable then) though I did find one pub called The Corner Pin and another called The Ironfounder Arms on Cold Bath St, which also seems to have disappeared.

Of course Langdale Road is still there. Off the top of my head and without taking another peek, I can't instantly think of a pub on it. Straightsmouth has a lot of work going on at the moment (much redevelopment) but I can't think of a pub on that road either. I have found in a 1934 listing online, a beer retailer (though whether an actual pub or just an offy isn't clear) called George William Willis at Number 1 Straightsmouth, but after that my trail (like the beer) runs dry.


But I'm no expert. Does anyone have any extra clues for Geri?

Cosy Pubs

Following on from yesterday's discussion, Kelly asks:

Have you got any recommendations for a nice cosy traditional pub in Greenwich? I am looking for one where you can get really settled in for the afternoon/evening with a decent beer. We live in the Ashburnham Triangle and while the nearby pubs are great, they all seem to get modernised and seem to lose a bit of their character. We don't mind travelling to get there either.

The Phantom replies:

Much as yesterday, I have to confess that I haven't found a really old fashioned, traditional pub without a few modern tweaks in Greenwich. Many are perfectly cosy - The Ashburnham Arms, for example, near you, but many have been modernised to some extent. I was mildly impressed with The Kings Arms in King William Walk (though the service left something to be desired) and The Vanbrugh - though I have to admit that it took me about four attempts to visit there as it had such a 'local pub for local people' feel about it (ditto, actually, the Ashburnham. Neither are really cliquey - just a tiny tad.) The Cutty Sark is quite traditional in feel, as is The Plume of Feathers on Park Row, which, thinking about it, is probably my choice.

I guess part of the problem is the amount of money to be made from slot machines, Sky TV and jukeboxes. Many pubs have now installed squashy armchairs and low lighting - and there are even a few fireplaces being reinstalled - but the residual noise level is not conducive to real cosinesss.

Any more suggestions, folks?

Sunday Roasts

Rach asks:

Just wondering if you have any recommendations for the best place in Greenwich for a sunday roast?

The Phantom replies:

If I'm absolutely honest I haven't actually found the "ultimate" Sunday Roast in Greenwich, but opinions differ and I suspect we'll have quite a few contributions from everyone on this one...

The King William Restaurant (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/01/king-williams-restaurant.html) under The Painted Hall does a traditional Sunday Lunch, but, despite its being run by Leiths, it's not my favourite. I keep meaning to try it again, as it's a good venue and I can't help thinking that it should be better than I have found in the past.

I was in The Vanbrugh yesterday lunchtime (full review to come at some point.) Their roast is quite respectable; the meat (several options) is well-sourced and you get a good plateful. I wasn't completely wild about the potatoes - I like my spuds really crispy - but the Yorkshire pud was very good. Their Christmas menu looks appealing.

I haven't actually tested The Guildford's Sunday Roast but I have had other food from there (again - there's a review to be had soon - I'm rather behind with posting at the moment) and I've been impressed with it.

SE10 (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/10/se10.html) lists Sunday Roast with all the trimmings, but I hesitate to recommend it as I had a very ho-hum experience last time I went (I haven't tried the roast though - might actually be quite a triumph. It's that sort of place.)

I do really like The Yacht (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/01/yacht.html)- though once again I haven't actually tried their roast.

Ditto The Hill (there's a review in the Eating Out section but even I can't find it!!)

and The Ashburnham Arms (again - there's a review in the Eating Out section - you'll have to scroll down. I really need to sort this site out!!)

If you don't mind driving, Danson Stables (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/07/danson-stables.html)is very 'Sunday pub lunch-y' - combine it with a visit to Danson House http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/03/danson-house_19.html)

If you're just looking for Sunday lunch rather than a traditional roast, you could do a lot worse than Inside (http://www.thegreenwichphantom.co.uk/2007/05/inside.html)

I now await with glee everyone else chipping in with their suggestions...

The Phantom's Greenwich Christmas Gift Guide

Good Lord. I just looked at the diary. There are less than five weeks to go before The Big Day and apart from booking panto tickets I've done nothing at all about it. Of course that's not unusual - but I really want to avoid the stress that goes with Christmas Eve shoppery this year.

Despite the lights not being on yet at Greenwich Market (a good thing, natch - you'll just have to wait until next Friday for that...) everything's gone Christmas Mad. And as for the chain stores - you can't go anywhere without acquiring one of those glossy gift supplements from stores with more money than originality, advertising the same old perfumes and tacky office toys.


But I'm now feeling left out. I too want to jump on the bandwagon and produce something bored people can flick through then immediately chuck away. So, in the absence of Old Phantom's Greenwich Almanack, which, naturally, would have been the season's best seller had I actually got around to producing it (like so many things on this site I haven't actually done yet, blush) here's my Greenwich gift guide.


I've tried to keep it as gifts with a local theme rather than just things you can buy here - for that I recommend just visiting Greenwich town centre (take some Prosac first, though, eh, if you're going at a weekend...)


I haven't included anything Greenwich-related for children as in my experience they don't care about themes or provenance for gifts - quantity will always prevail (though if you're really stuck, the puppet stall on Greenwich Market does delightful fingerbob sets of famous fairy tales including a particularly gruesome one of The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. For older kids, I recommend, from Compendia's current stock, Ticket To Ride (a great family game,) Labyrinth (the boardgame, not the puzzle,) Pueto Rico (for older, more mature kids) and as a stocking filler, Guillotine.) But onto the Greenwich Gifts...


1) Cutty Sark cuff links. In black and white, based on her own photos of the rigging. The same artist, Alison Wiffen, also does Observatory versions and a necklace based on a picture of the Cutty Sark's prow. Red Door Gallery, Turnpin Lane. Check out Alison's full range here


2) A limited edition Greenwich print from Greenwich Printmakers in the Market. The local ones tend to be grouped together near the desk.There are some great ones of Lovells Wharf just now - good for people who are just buying in the new developments.

3) Membership of Greenwich Picturehouse. A fab thing where it's virtually impossible to lose money, but you still feel like you 'belong...' With your membership you get a number of 'free' tickets, plus invites to free screenings and the odd event.

4) Theatre of Wine own brand wine. They've been promising this for ages - if they still aren't doing it yet, pester. In the absence of that, get some Flute Enchantee to drown your disappointment.

5) Blackheath and Environs, Neil Rhind. Available again after a hiatus of some years, this is one of those books that all local historians need. Highly scholarly, it's not an 'easy read' as such - but very satisfying. I got my copy from Sisters and Daughters, Blackheath

6) Warren King's superb Greenwich Calendar, in CD case form. Remember those pics of Squeeze I posted recently? They were by Warren King, who has created his own fabulous calendar. He told me he's launching a website, but I can't find it just now. However, I've seen these really rather splendid calendars in various places, including Red Door Gallery and even, believe it or not, Greenwich Post Office.

7) A Greenwich Clockmakers Clock - old fashioned style - some nicer than others. Personally I think they could have slightly higher production values, but they're still very nice pieces and would make good, topical presents. Greenwich Market.

8) A Season Ticket for Greenwich Theatre. If last season was anything to go by, a bit of a curate's egg of a gift - some shows were so great I wanted to go again instantly, others were really rather duff (I left one in the interval, another I would have left if it had had an interval - but that sort of doesn't matter if you're overall paying so little for a ticket (works out just over a tenner per show, if memory serves.) With its slightly chequered history, it's important to support the theatre, even if not everything is to one's personal taste. But as value for money goes, it's great, and your recipient will have loads of nights out for a comparatively small outlay on your part...

9) An antique map from Warwick Leadlay Gallery. The real thing if you're ultra-generous, a good quality print if you're a little more strapped for cash. Several available from knowledgeable and helpful staff.

10) Greenwich Meantime Beer. Buy it from various outlets including The Cheeseboard. The alternative is a festive keg of whatever's on 'special' from Zero Degrees in Montpelier Row, Blackheath.

11) A Fishmonger Ltd Apron - With a cool design by Paul McPherson in funky colours. From our very own local Fishmonger, of course...

12 A good book. If your recipient likes classics, try The Secret Agent. If they're into more modern stuff, I enjoyed both Birdman and The Dead of Summer. Reviews of all of these can be found in the Books section.

13 A charitable donation. You could do a lot worse than helping out The Cutty Sark after her annus horribilis. Buy a nice Cutty Sark card from the shop and tell your nearest and dearest that they have adopted a plank. Metaphorically speaking, of course. And don't forget to visit Jerry Bruckheimer's Pirates of the Caribbean photo exhibition at the Cutty Sark this week. To make a donation visit www.cuttysark.org.uk

14 Classic Paper Calendar with photographs by Fergus Noone. Traditional calendar with beautiful B&W photos in F.N's inimitable style. Fergus Noone Gallery

15 Rosa Christopher Marlowe, David Austin roses. The gardener's choice. A rose named for our local Elizabethan-playwright-who-died-in-suspicious-circumstances.

16 Membership of the Flamsteed Astronomy Society If you're going to belong to any astronomy society anywhere, then surely Greenwich has to be the place. This active scientific society meets regularly at The Greenwich Observatory, has observation nights and talks by eminent astronomers. If you're thinking of joining the friends of the NMM - remember that by joining the Flamsteed Astronomical Society you automatically become a friend of the Nmm. www.flamsteed.info

17 DLR line Mug, "Cutty Sark for the Royal Observatory" from the new-look London Transport Museum. In turquoise, it's part of a selection of mugs from famous parts of the LT network. View it herebut use buying one as an excuse for visiting the splendid new museum.

18 Prime Meridian T Shirt, If you can't make it into Covent Garden, huff and puff your way up Observatory Hill to the Observatory shop for this most apt of Greenwich gifts instead. Or buy it online and save yourself the effort.

19 A Greenwich Fan, designed by Peter Kent. The Fan Museum shop has two different Greenwich designs on their website, but it's such a terrible (very pretty, but terrible) page that I can't work out whether they're for general sale or not. They say they can do mail order - and then don't actually tell you what they sell. But hey. Why not visit this jewel of a museum and check out their latest exhibition Winds of Change, or, after Dec 2, Celebrations and visit their delightful little shop at the same time. What they lack in web-savvy they more than make up for in charm...

20 Finally. My personal favourite - but you'll have to get in there quick - A Private Christmas Cruise on a Greenwich Yacht. This is part of the Friends of East Greenwich Pleasaunce's Blind Auction. Basically the treasurer of the FoEGP just happens to have a 26' yacht and will skipper a group for a private trip up the Thames for the highest bidder. The auction will be officially held at the FoEGP Christmas Carol meet next Sunday Dec 2, but if you want to bid before that, email the friends(annoyingly I can't find any details online...) pleasauncefriends@hotmail.co.uk

One last thing. Christmas cards. Good quality charity ones from St Alfeges Church, nice local versions from Warwick Leadlay, The Cutty Sark and Westcombe and Blackheath Societies.

BTW just out of interest, has anyone acquired any of those "mince pound" things yet? Apparently for every pound you spend in various places in Greenwich town centre you get a mince pound which can be exchanged for a pound off various entertainments in Greenwich. None of the places I've spent over ten quid at so far seemed to do them though.

"Carl I Have Your Robert Wyatt Albums..."

All, it appears, that is left of the Powder Monkey. A hastily-scribbled note with a hotmail address, sellotaped to the outside...

So. Is the Powder Monkey dead - or just very well closed during the day?

Grounds of Devonport House

So - what's going on here then? I walked past today and noticed some workmen digging up around Admiral Hardy's mausoleum. Then I noticed that several of the monuments were fenced off, and other workmen were digging up the grass with a big mechanical digger. Does anyone know what it's all in aid of? Part of it looked like paths - but I am suspicious...

What's On?

Folks - I want to ask you a question. When I started this blog, I was really sure that the one thing I didn't want it to turn into was some kind of Parish Noticeboard with bring-and-buy sales, bob-a-job weeks and pensioners' tea parties advertised on it. I have always seen this as my personal blog - and I don't really want to dilute my own tedious opinions with a What's On section.

But people keep sending me stuff - and some of it (not all, by any means, ahem,) looks really interesting. I'm wondering - if I created a second blog "The Phantom's Parish News" or similar, click-through-able from this site, would it be useful? Or are there already plenty of places to find out what's on?

I'll warn you - I'm poor at going out and finding events - this would merely be based on things I notice and think look good - or things selected from stuff people send me - and not everything I'm sent either - I'd only include it if I thought it looked really different and good. And I'm rubbish at HTML so don't expect graphs or grids or diaries - or indeed any funky add-ons. But with those caveats - is it appealing, or a waste of time?

100 Cauliflowers revisited.

Andy has sent me a mail about this oddest of installations currently on at the Peninsula.

As I'm always bleating on, I don't really want to be a parish noticeboard but this one is so bonkers that I've just got to mention it here...

He writes:

This Friday 23rd and Saturday 24th November, environmental artist Kerry Morrison is inviting you all to come and see (and take part in)her '100 cauliflowers' installation on the peninsula. The installation is a culmination of work over the past 6 months, inwhich Kerry researched the areas environmental history and issues, andworked with some local people to develop ideas.

Kerry has been building the 'allotment' this week, and on Friday 23rd she will be joined by 15 pupils from John Roan School to plant the first 50 cauliflowers. this will take place between 1pm and 3pm. On Saturday 24th, come along between 12noon and 3pm to help plant the remaining 50 cauliflowers.

The plot, known as the 'bowling green' is on the riverside path between GMV and the O2.

The caulis will overwinter and be harvested in the spring, possibly towards some kind of community feast.

www.independentphotography.org.uk/urbannature

The Phantom says:

I'll try to get down there at some point - maybe some of you fancy it too. Just don't invite me to any community 'feast' consisiting of cauliflowers, eh?

One of the Seven Wonders of London

M32 has reminded me that Time Out's 'Seven Wonders of London' series has included The Old Royal Naval College this week. Of course I'm rather miffed that it's only Number 4 rather than Number 1, of course, but maybe they're saving that honour for the Observatory...

It's a good little article - nothing we probably don't already know, but covering all the major points and the wide-angle photo is worth taking a closer look at for the interesting peripheries.

Maybe this will be a cue for TO to spend a little more time looking at what Greenwich has to offer. Don't get me wrong - I love the mag - and am a subscriber - but I do get a little weary of their concentrating on trendy areas like Marylebone High Road, Clerkenwell and Islington, only wheeling Greenwich out for obvious features like "Top twenty places to have a picnic..." when there are great shops, interesting places and even the odd restaurant (sadly 'odd' being the operative word) that really warrant a mention in their hallowed pages.

Christmas Bazaars

Gethyn asks:

Do you know of any christmas bazaars/fairs taking place in greenwich/blackheath this weekend?

The Phantom replies:

I'm sorry to report that The Westcombe Society's Dickensian Fair was last week, I'm afraid, (though do try to make next year's if you can) and I can't find any news about either the Blackheath or Greenwich Societies doing anything similar. If any of you know of any fairs this weekend, do let me know! Of course the weekend after, The Friends of East Greenwich Pleasaunce will be having a little carol and mulled wine event on the 2nd December - but that's not really a fair as such.

Hmm. Maybe someone knows of a school fair or two?

Greenwich Book Time

Greenwich Church St, SE10

The book of my enemy has been remaindered

And I am pleased.

There used to be several of these remainder books shops around Greenwich, all selling pretty much the same thing, thus prompting me, with Sherlock Holmesian powers of deduction, to assume they were run by the same people. I guess I'm not quite as gutted about the loss of these as I am about the gradual death of Greenwich's legion of quirky second-hand bookshops (I'm still mourning the recent demise of Marcet Books) but even so, the fact that I don't believe any of these has been replaced by anything at all -not even a Greenwich Inc cafe, makes me sad, and I am pleased that at least one is still with us.

Remainder books rock. I know that it is the ultimate misery for an author, but for me it is an adventure playground of discovery.

The Edsels of the world of moveable type,

The bummers that no amount of hype could shift,

The unbudgeable turkeys.

Much of it boggles the mind as to how on earth it ever got commissioned in the first place - take A History of Men and Snakes, The Head-Collector's Bible and Knitting With Your Pet's Fur - three of my own personal favourites.

His unmistakably individual new voice
Shares the same scrapyard with a forlorn skyscraper
Of The Kung-Fu Cookbook

No - what I love are the hidden gems that didn't work at the time - perhaps a lack of publicity, a bad title, a release-date shared with the latest Harry Potter, an author not quite famous enough - or merely written before their time. They rub shoulders with dodgy celebrity autobiographies, obscure Australian-measures cookbooks and comedy stocking fillers that missed the mark.

His renowned abhorrence of all posturing and pretense,

Is there with Pertwee's Promenades and Pierrots--One Hundred Years of Seaside Entertainment

A few years ago they were everywhere, these shops, now I know only of half a dozen in London and most of them have a porn emporium in the basement. As a penniless student, I often found myself in one or other of them - you could fill a carrier bag with reading material for a few coins (well, ok - pound-coins...) And some of them were not only really good, they have become old and trusted friends of mine. Especially the ones that were just a bit too scholarly to be blockbuster material - usually written by some unknown professor without that popular touch that sells multiple copies. They're sometimes rather hard work but they do occasionally repay the effort, even if, like that free history channel on TV, many of them seem to be based on military tactics of WWII.

His delicate, quivering sensibility is now as one

With Barbara Windsor's Book of Boobs

In fact there is even one book that I bought as a remainder in the 1990s that I loved so much that I had to cover it in sticky-backed plastic to keep it together (yes I am a Blue Peter child) and its influence continues today - there is a new book out by Greenwich author that I can't quite bring myself to read yet because it covers the same ground as my fave and I have fears that I will be horribly prejudiced when I come to review it here...

But back to Greenwich Book Time. It's not all remainder-fare - some are cheap imprints, overstocks and bulk-buys. There are gems to be discovered in here, if you can make the effort and time to delve past the dross. And the perfect time with this particular store is just before going to the movies, while you're waiting for your mate (who's always late - yeah - the same one as yesterday...)

They open conveniently late and are directly opposite the Picturehouse (BTW can someone tell me why this shop's official address seems to be in Greenwich Church St but the Picturehouse - opposite - is in Greenwich High Road?)

Greenwich Book Time is not the ultimate in quality - and it doesn't pretend to be. But it's a good place, out of the rain, to meet people - and you can, just occasionally, find a book that will become a personal favourite.

Chill the champagne and polish the crystal goblets!

The book of my enemy has been remaindered

And I am glad.

Clive James

Message for Claire

Sorry folks - this is a message for Claire who sent me something to share with you - instead of opening her mail though, I accidentally deleted it. Could you send it again please, Claire? Cheers!

Polar Sundial

Corner of Greenwich Church St and Stockwell St, SE10

So what's all this about then? I must be the most monumentally unobservant phantom on the block as I only noticed this about a month ago (yes, ahem, I'm running a bit behind these days...) and only got round to taking a snap last week.

I'm assuming it's council-fun. A large, shiny tube, cut off at an angle at the top with lots of information on it? Great. What's it for? No idea. But hey - it's shiny and it's something fun to look at, so I'm happy...

As a piece of art it is, frankly, a bit clunky. Whereas most of the time I'm moaning that modern (and ancient) art in Greenwich doesn't have enough information about it, so that even a few years after its creation it's become unknown, this work has vast amounts of data on it. There's a short history of the place, culminating in Greenwich's acceptance into the World Heritage Site club ten years ago (which is presumably the reason this piece has suddenly appeared.) There are various charts and diagrams showing the stars and GMT. There's a Polar Sundial cutting through the centre. There's info about British Summer Time, sundials in general, solar time, the formula used to calculate corrections in time, and The Great Bear, among other things.

So - vast amounts of info, making it a bit worthy if you're trying to view it as Art. But if you look at it as a funky information plaque, it's fantastic. And an ideal place to arrange to meet people who are congenitally late - you'll never get bored waiting for them...

Historic House Hunting

'A' asks:

I was wondering if you knew where I could find out the history of the house I live in, in Royal Hill. It is a very old house and I would love to find old pictures and names of families who lived there.

The Phantom replies:

I'm no expert on house genealogy, but there are a few basic things you can do before getting in really deep and having to start trawling for clues...

Firstly, there are the censuses. They're held once every ten years and go back, I believe, to 1801. The details are not released for 100 years, but once they are, they are in the public domain. Several are now online; the most recent, 1901, bust the computer system when it first arrived. Some, like 1901, can be searched free, others cost money. If you don't mind a trek, nip over to Kew to see the original paper versions.

http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/

Royal Hill is one of the oldest roads in Greenwich, but I doubt if there will be many survivals from before the census began - my (rank amateur) guess is around the 1830 mark for many of them. There are free and paid-for census searches from 1841 onwards at:

http://www.ukcensusonline.com/

The problem with the censuses is that they were (and are) a bit hit-and-miss. They're full of clerical errors, spelling mistakes and downright lies and their major hiccup is that the census only shows who was where at one specific night on that year. So if people were away, or merely staying at a house, that doesn't get reflected in the report. Even now there are some people who think it's hilarious to tell posterity that they are Jedi knights or Vulcans. I daresay that the clerks of tomorrow will just create a simple shorthand for this category - wankers.

Another relatively simple, but even less accurate snapshot can be found in the electoral roll, produced mainly from the 20th century onwards (don't quote me on this) with a few hiatuses during the war years. They are a bit fiddly as the boundaries kept changing, and they only list those eligible to vote - so minors are not counted, but it's utterly fascinating stuff. At one point, my own tiny little gaff had ELEVEN adults living in it, and the next year two more turned 21 - a frightening thought indeed. Heaven only knows how many under-voting-age kids were there too. They must have slept in shifts. It's easy enough to see these records - they're at the Heritage Centre in Woolwich - a mildly annoying trip away these days.

http://www.greenwich.gov.uk/Greenwich/LeisureCulture/HistoryAndHeritage/HeritageCentre/

There is a facsimile Greenwich Directory from 1849 that seems relatively easily acquired - a sort of telephone directory from before the days of Alexander Graham Bell. I had a quick peek in my copy for you, 'A,' and sadly your house number isn't there. But many people are just listed as living in Royal Hill - only a few actually have numbers. They mainly appear to have been artisans and professionals - shopkeepers, dressmakers, coach-drivers etc. I am puzzled by Number One which has several people listed, including, among others, a butcher, a stationer and a vicar - must have been a cosmopolitan household indeed. It's entirely possible that there are directories from other years available too - ask the guys at the Heritage Centre.

But there are easy things to do too. Ask your neighbours about more recent inhabitants. Look at the deeds of the house (if they still exist - many don't nowadays after a slightly short-sighted decision a decade or so ago to make some house deeds 'paperless.') Look in the attics, and under floorboards when you decorate - even in the garden as you dig - I have a growing collection of oddities I've fished out from under - well - all sorts of places in my own home.

There are several good places to continue your search and some great books to be had out there. http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/househistory/ has some hints and also a couple of books available which might help. You're possibly luckier than some in that Royal Hill has been documented a lot over the centuries; you should be able to find plenty of stuff.

As for photos, again at the Heritage Centre, they have large boxes of photos in alphabetical order of streets. I think you will find quite a lot in there. They are incredibly helpful people, and often find themselves sucked into the search too, almost as fascinated as you are...

Good luck - and do let me know how you get on!

The Kings Arms

King William Walk, Greenwich, SE10

Like so many eat-and-drinkeries in Greenwich, the clientele at The Kings Arms is feast or famine. It's either heaving with tourists - or utterly empty. So it took me a while to time it right so that I could go in when it wasn't totally dead, but there were at least a few seats available.

In the today's climate, where pubs are 'regenerated' to the point of unrecognisability at the drop of a knife on laminate, it's rather refreshing to see that The Kings Arms has at least tried to keep that traditional boozer feel. The dark wood panelling with obscure glass panels, the busy red and gold carpet, maroon anaglypta ceiling and un-matched chairs keep the feel, but it's not grotty like one down the road I won't name but which closed recently. It's what I'd call 'cosy' - better, IMHO, in the winter, with its comforting fireplace and low lighting, which can be a bit gloomy in summer (though of course then you'd sit outside in the rather nice beer garden anyway...)

The decor has a local feel - old pictures of Greenwich, especially the Observatory - don't miss the painting above the fireplace which depicts the Observatory during the war, complete with aerial and planes. The rest of the decor tends towards pub knick-knackery - not unpleasant - I confess I quite like the comfort of a load of bits and bobs around me.

When we went in the other day, we were initially drawn by the sign advertising 'mulled wine,' particularly appealing given the weather. I have to admit we were totally put off when we realised it was an instant mulled-wine machine which somehow just seemed wrong, so it was beer after all. The staff were not at their best - I'm not convinced they had their minds on what they were doing. It took sometime to be served despite the quietness of the evening and even during the transaction I got the feeling that I was in the way of their quiet night.

But the beer is good and the atmosphere (among the locals) seemed friendly. It was an enjoyable visit, and definitely somewhere I'd return, especially since we didn't test the food on the last occasion. BTW, there's an interesting domed glass lantern in the Ladies. There isn't an equivalent in the Gents.

A Mystery Solved

Remember that tall ship in the docks up by Lovell's Wharf in the summer? Well I just found out what it was...



A little snippet from the Scarborough Evening News reads:

Residents and visitors got a bird’s eye view of the Grand Turk tall ship on its way back to its base in Whitby yesterday afternoon.The vessel has been to Greenwich for a refit which included carrying out some general engineering works in dry dock.

Accoding to her website, she is a replica of an 18th century man-o-war ship based on drawings of a sixth rate frigate named ‘Blanford’, of the type that took part in the battle of Trafalgar.

Apparently she also underwent an inspection by the Maritime and Coastguard Agency - something I don't really associate with urban London any more, so it's a delight to see.

Seems somehow odd, but also satisfying that of all the places still associated with shipbuilding and boat maintenance, Greenwich can still hold its own for interesting nautical jobs. We haven't totally lost our maritime heritage after all. Ahhh.

The Grand Turk was built for use in films and TV - so it's highly likely she'll be back soon, given the amount of filming that goes on round here.

By the way, if you fancy chartering the Grand Turk, the link is here. They don't actually admit to how much it costs, but I'm sure you could get a discount with your GreenwichCard.

http://www.topchart.co.uk/1671_boat-charter.htm

Clash of the Titans

"Big" King Tut v. "The Emperor"

Round One: British Museum. Round Two: The O2

A heavyweight cultural clash this season sees two hitherto undisputed champs take on each other in the London ring for the first time.

In the Blue Corner we have relative newcomer "Emperor" Qin Shihuangdi, whose fanbase, the barmy "Terracotta Army" will literally follow him to the ends of the earth. Discovered in 1974, he's received rave reviews and his sheer size should prove an interesting match for Big Tut.

Warming up in the Red Corner we have the perennial crowd favourite, King "The Boy" Tutankhamun. Still in good form after 3,000 years; some pundits have noted he's looking a little flabby around the midriff these days. We've seen Tutmania before - can he pull it off again?

Get your front row seats now to watch these two heavyweights slug it out to the death...

Dong! Round One:

The First Emperor

Form: Unknown. Only discovered in 1974 and no major exhibition in Britain before.

Weight: 20 figures + sundry grave goods.

Performance: Beautifully displayed in The Round Reading Room. Each warrior fabulously presented and close enough to (almost) touch. Fabulously displayed and well-lit. Scholarly but entertaining. Emphasis on life at the Imperial Court, including leisure and bureaucratic figures as well as the more famous military images. Clerks and musicians, animals and birds supplement the more famous terracotta soldiers. One of the most memorable parts is the contrast between the first figure - a crouching archer - and the last - a modern replica coloured as it would have originally have been. An extraordinary experience.

Extras: Large screens with filmic representations of the life of the First Emperor.

Rounds: Takes about an hour and a half.

Odds: Entry - £ 12 adults, children over 16, £ 10 Children under 16 free

Memorabilia: Classic British Museum mementos - t-shirts, mugs, books etc.

Knockout? Absolutely.

Verdict: The future for this guy is exciting indeed. Only a tiny part of the Terracotta Army itself has been unearthed so far; and virtually none of the rest of Qin Shihuangdi's funerary world. The man himself still rests under a giant earthen pyramid, allegedly sleeping in a temple surrounded by rivers of mercury. For now, though, this exhibition is outstanding.

Ding-ding. Time Out. Take out that mouth guard and enjoy a slice of orange, a magic sponge or one of those nice sandwiches in The Great Court.

Dong! Round Two:


"Big" King Tut

Form: The full collection of Treasures visited The British Museum in 1972 and smashed all box-office records. Crowds queued around the block to file past the famous funeral mask.

Weight: Far fewer items from the actual tomb of the boy king this time, bulked-out with treasures from lesser-known royal figures. The golden mask is, notoriously, not with the tour ('tour' being a good word for this spectacle; the man is given full rock-star treatment) but there is a fabulous miniature coffin, executed in perfect detail, to contain the royal liver, specially preserved some three thousand years before George Best thought he'd cut out the middleman and pickle his own liver pre-mortem. What the little golden sarcophagus lacks in stature it makes up for in detail - an absolutely stunning exhibit.

Performance: Surprisingly good. I was expecting a slick, highly-commercial, slightly tacky experience and it is certainly aimed at the crowds. A 90-second trailer (sorry "introduction") for the exhibition, voiced by Omar Shariff, bodes worryingly, the first few moments being more akin to a cross between a chillout lounge and a Disneyland ride. As the great doors open and everyone crowds round the first exhibit, the heart sinks. Is it going to be like this all the way round?

Actually not. After that first scrum, the crowds do disperse (a little - there's no way this is ever going to be a private view but it's nowhere near the crushes that you get at exhibitions at the V&A or Tate Britain) and the pieces have been laid out so that visitors can get all the way round each cabinet, further lessening the pressure. The labels are repeated at the top of each cabinet, so people waiting can read the notes first.

The exhibition looks good - not quite as cool as The First Emperor, but clear and simple. Much of the upstairs part is artifacts from other royal tombs - including a gold funeral mask and coffin from one of Tutankhamun's aunts. The Egyptians, like the Chinese, needed models of people to do their work for them in the afterlife, but they were more concerned with quality not quantity. The First Emperor had thousands of life-size clay figures; the Egyptians were happy that their shabtis were about a foot high, but they wanted them to be made of gold and precious stones.

The end of the upstairs part looks so much like the end of the exhibition that it produces a slight anticlimax. Happily this is showbiz and there is a finale downstairs - the climax of the exhibition, even if it's the audience that gets to do the walkdown. It's down here that the real treasures begin - the stuff that most people come for. Again it's well-displayed to make the most of the space. The final room is based around items actually found in the wrappings of the king, with a projected image of the absent coffin showing where each item was found.

Rounds: Takes a couple of hours.

Odds: A whopping £ 15 /20 adults (weekdays/weekends) £ 7.50/10 Children

Memorabilia: Generally pricey but reasonable quality. But some rubbish too. Tut tat includes a tissue box holder where the hankies come out through Tutankhamun's nose,£29.95, coffeepot baubles, £25, 'Mummy Putty,' £4.95, a sarcophagus CD rack, £240, single chocolate lollipops, £8.95 (no, really)and my favourite, a Zahi Hawass (not Indiana Jones, no, not at all) hat, £45.

Knockout? Yes. Definitely worth a visit.

Verdict: If you're patient, you can see all the exhibits well - it's busy, not ridiculous. The music, which reminded me of computer-game soundtracks (if you know Neverwinter Nights then it's just like the desert scenes) is not as irritating as I had expected - after a while you can forget it's there.

Overall winner: Difficult. Both are huge blockbusters, both hugely entertaining. If I had to choose, probably The First Emperor. But don't choose. Empty your piggy bank and see them both.

Teletubby Sainsburys

I couldn't resist going to have a quick poke around the 'new' Sainsburys just now. Though to be honest, apart from their having given it a lick of paint, a few new shelving units and moving everything around I can't see much different. It does look a bit brighter - but there's nothing particularly stand-out.

They've re-turfed the green bit outside and re-clad the wood bit, taken away the electric car points so that more 4x4s can pretend to be disabled while they get some fags and - well, that's about it.

I'm rather disappointed to see that they haven't taken the opportunity to close-in the freezer section. There are one or two more freezers with doors, but much of the frozen fare is still open. I mean - what the heck are we doing switching off lights and saving carrier bags when every supermarket in Britain leaves its fridge doors wide open? (yeah, yeah, China, power-stations yada, yada... but I still think there's a point in there somewhere.)

I didn't stay long - I'd only gone in to get some milk and be nosey, but I confess I'm pleased it's back. I know you should do you shopping locally - and I do try, honest. Fish from the fishmonger, fruit & veg from the farmers market or the Creaky Shed, cheese from the cheesemonger etc etc - but some things you just need a good old supermarket for.

The one thing Sainsburys being shut did remind me was how much I hate Asda. I have never encountered so many angry people shouting and swearing at each other as I do in that bloomin' store- and I've seen near-fisticuffs in the car park.

Sainsburys drives me mad from time to time. But actually I'm quite pleased it's back. So shoot me...

Dog Training

Lorna asks:

Do you or your readers have any advice on whether there are any dog training classes in Greenwich? I'm preparing in advance for the arrival of the retired greyhound we are hoping to rehome at the end of the year!

The Phantom replies:

This is one to throw out to the floor. I haven't a clue, I'm afraid, Lorna, but congratulations on giving one of these sad creatures a home. I hope you have many happy years together...

My Chemical Romance

I was just walking through the Dome, taking my parents to the Tutankhamun exhibition (review tomorrow) when I met a mate who works there. He said "You've got to see this..."

We went round the back - beyond the ice disco (eleven quid for an hour, btw) to find dozens of face-painted MCR fans, wrapped in blankets and sleeping bags.

"They've been there since Tuesday," said my pal.

"But don't they have tickets?"

"Yeah..."

I almost wish I was going myself. If a band is so good people are happy to queue for two days when they already have a ticket, it's got to be worth seeing...

Historical Societies

Shaun asks:

Do you know if there's a historical society in Greenwich?

The Phantom replies:

After much searching, I found one that meets at the Music Centre, Blackheath High School, Vanbrugh Park. They tell us a time (7.15pm) but not a day - so it's worth contacting John Swindell on 020 8854 1716 - they don't appear to have a website.

Greenwich Industrial History Society is very active. I believe Mary Mills has a lot to do with it.

There is also Mycenae House Local History Group which meets on Monday mornings during term time. Contact: 020 8858 1006 or email MHLHG@LFTSmith.plus.com

Then there are the various societies:

Greenwich

Blackheath

Westcombe

And the Friends of:

East Greenwich Pleasaunce

Greenwich Park


One of these days I'm going to get myself together to do an annotated links page but for now, if anyone wants to add a local historical group link here - please feel free!

Spooks

Donovan says:

Further to the discussion on Greenwich in Film and Books, did anyone spot the Greenwich shots in Spooks last night? The drop-off to the Iranians was in Gloucester Circus, at which time there were cut scenes showing, confusingly, someone driving up Maze Hill towards Blackheath, then east along Trafalgar road between the ORNC and the Queen's House...

The Phantom replies:

I confess I gave up watching Spooks after the third series - it seemed to be losing its way after a really good start. So no - I didn't see it - but did anyone else? Donovan tells me he was channel-hopping and happened upon the Greenwich Moment - but perhaps someone can tell me whether it's actually worth watching these days?