Greenwich Pier

Now. Let me get this right. Greenwich Council have just refused permission for a four-month experiment of a ferris wheel just outside of the Visitor Centre because it wouldn't look nice.

So how come I read in the Mercury that in the very next week they've welcomed with open arms a proposal to tear down the cute little Victorian waiting room at Greenwich Pier just outside the Visitor Centre and replace it with a neo-brutalist monstrosity which will be permanent?

It couldn't possibly have been approved because it was designed by Conran could it? Honestly - what was Conran going to say? "No - you have a dinky and much-loved little piece of history there - I'd recommend you keep that and add a few loos and a little cafe?" Of course not. He's seen the pound signs and gone for it - and I don't blame him. I blame Greenwich Council for not noticing that they're not wearing any clothes.

Anyone who reads this blog will know that I'm NOT anti-development. I don't oppose everything - each case needs to be taken on its own merits. But this is a WORLD HERITAGE SITE - where's the heritage going to be?

From the picture in the paper, (admittedly - I haven't seen the model, but I don't hold out much hope for it) this copper and timber structure would just about do in a brand new site - like the old hospital. It's vulgar but it presumably ticks boxes for 'design' and 'facilities.' But frankly I'd give the superloo next door more points for looks - and everyone knows what I think of that particular building.

Conran apparently thinks it has a "nautical feel." Excuse me? Am I missing something? What sort of maritime world does Conran live in? It reminds me of a trendy church from the 1980s - which is hardly surprising since that's exactly where Conran is stuck. This is 2007 not 1987.

There are going to be restaurants and balconies - which aparently are going to be "top class, yet informal." So another average eating experience, then.

The only thing that isn't entirely horrid about this is that at least SOMEONE thinks the Victorian building is worth saving. You'll still be able to enjoy its delightful panelling and cute roof - if you go to St Kitts in the Caribbean. They, at least, have seen the merit in this little piece of history and will be transporting it lock, stock and cupola to a railway scheme on the island. The poor old thing looks a little sad and battered at the moment but I daresay St Kitts will give it the spruce-up it deserves.

Anyone seeing any parallels with the Old District Hospital here?

I can just see what's going to happen in a few years time. There will be a climb down from the council who will admit that it's one of the most hated buildings in Greenwich, pay a fortune to have the building demolished, then pay another fortune to St Kitts to get the old building back.

I shake my head in despair.

Dead Supermarkets

Has it occurred to anyone else that we're going to have an interesting time very soon?

Ex-Somerfields is closed pending M&S at the Standard.
Tescos in Trafalgar Road isn't nearly ready to open yet
The Co-op is just about to close pending a refurb to meet Tescos head-on (hoorah)

Now. Whatever we think about the clashing of tusks that these great monolyths are going to do, and whatever we think about supermarkets in general, it's going to be very interesting when the Co-op closes and we have no supermarkets at all for a while, isn't it.

I wonder what will happen...

A word on Advertising

M32 was joshing with me today about my adding an advert for a restaurant that got a particularly favourable review.

I smiled because I was aware, even while I was writing the article, that I sounded like one of the magazines that drop onto our doormats who claim to be independent but write glowing reviews of everything - with an accompanying ad for the joint on the opposite page.

Let me tell you now. I will NEVER do that - that would just be reinventing the wheel. There are plenty of mags that do that already - and a total waste of space those reviews are, too. I could make a BIT of money doing it if I wanted to, I guess, and get the odd free meal. But I'm not doing this for the cash. I want good services and a nice environment because I live here - and the ONLY way to do that is to remain totally independent and totally anonymous.

But websites don't pay for themselves - and what I may have to do soon will be to allow discreet computer-generated ads down one side to offest the cost of the actual site.

At the risk of teaching my grandmother to suck eggs, let me explain how this new type of advertising works, in case you don't know.

I allow Google's search engine to filter through my words, picking out the ones that are relevant to their advertisers. Their computer puts up random ads on my site which LOOK as though they've been specially chosen, but they're absolutely not.

I have no contact whatsoever with the advertiser and they have no choice over where their ad goes.

So it's entirely possible that I'll pan some place - and there will be an advert for it next to it - that's fine by me - they have no say in what I write so I can remain independent.

I get some derisory amount every time someone clicks on the advert. I'm not allowed to ask you to click on any ads but if your mouse accidentally happened to hover over an ad or two from time to time I wouldn't be at all upset.

As you will see I haven't set this up yet, but it will probably have to come - merely to offset the costs of the website itself. Please bear with me - I will make it as un-gaudy as possible and let me repeat - I will never take direct advertising from anyone who would benefit from the words I write.

Underground Greenwich (1) Greenwich Foot Tunnel

Island Gardens end of the Foot Tunnel from a window of The Admiral's House




A word to the wise.

Never try to walk South through Greenwich Foot Tunnel around 8.00am or North around 6.00pm if you want to live.

This is because it will be being put to its original use - as a conduit for workers to reach the Isle of Dogs and you will be very much going against the flow. Of course the workers themselves have changed - not too many cheeky cock-er-ney dockers these days - much more likely besuited bankers making their way to Canary Wharf, but the sheer momentum of bodies is still just as frightening as ever if you're trying to move in the opposite direction.

The riding of bicycles is banned, which means you get two different types of cyclist. There are those who just ignore it, putting their heads down and just going for it who are truly terrifying, and those who think it doesn't count if they stand on one pedal and freewheel. The former is slightly more dangerous than the latter but they are both deadly. There is a very rare third variety - the guy who actually gets off and wheels his bike through. If you see one of these shy, scarce creatures, shake them warmly by the hand and thank them voraciously.

Other dangerous troglodyte-types you might encounter below the Thames include the local teenagers who think it is Greenwich Footie Tunnel and happily kick their footballs straight at you, foreign teenagers who buffet you with their back packs, and the idiots of all ages who think they're the first people on earth to come up with the idea of hooting as loud as possible to test out the echo.

I suspect it was ever that way.

Before the idea of digging underneath had ever occurred to anyone, there had been a ferry service across the Thames since 1676, but it tended to be rather unreliable and the workers had to pay for the privilege. Largely due to the efforts of the ex-docker MP Will Crooks, it was decided to create a tunnel to get the proles to work.

Sir Alexander Binnie was commissioned to design and oversee the project which would have cost £ 180,000 if the ferry operators hadn't kicked up a fuss at losing their business. They were paid compensation, which seems like a good deal to me.

Digging began in 1899 - around the same time as huge amounts of new building was going on in East Greenwich and Charlton. The tunnel was opened in 1902, with some rather splendid lifts opening two years later. They were 'upgraded' in 1992, but they at least kept the wood panelling. There is a charming cupola at each end - one in Island Gardens, they other on Greenwich Pier, next to the Cutty Sark and Greenwich's only superloo (yeuch.) Both glass domes are lit at night - the Greenwich side is usually green. Aaah...

For those of a statistical frame of mind of for pub quiz enthusiasts, there are over 200,000 white ceramic tiles lining the tunnel and it's almost a quarter of a mile long. Statistics bore me, so if you want any more, go to the Pepys Centre and buy yourself an A4 double-sided paper sheetlet with all the number crunches you'll ever want for 25p.

The Tunnel is regarded as a public highway, so it has to open 24 hours a day, but the lifts only work at civilised times.

Babur

119 Brockley Rise, SE23 1JP

In a tireless quest for perfection in the field of South East London curries, we set out on an expedition to deepest Brockley in an attempt to witness the fabled Babur on the 25th February 2007.

The journey required two buses, stout clothing and a spirit of adventure. Luckily we were accompanied by two local guides fluently conversant in South East London transport lore. These two hardy souls had both actually lived in the wilds of the Brockley jungle for many years and were able to easily negotiate their way onto a 177 from Greenwich Town Centre to just outside Goldsmiths College and then either a 171 or 172 to the restaurant itself, for which the rest of us were entirely grateful.

Leaving the foothills of Deptford we found ourselves unwilling to lose sight of comforting Tube signs at New Cross Gate as we plunged into uncharted territory - The Brockley Interior.

At first we were caught up with wonderment at the superb late Victorian Houses with their dinky terracotta detail, not noticing how far we had gone. But as we passed a chilling cemetary on our left, we were forced to admit that this was somewhere few Greenwich Residents actually ever see and our chatter died to an awed silence.

We sighted the quarry from some distance. A gigantic crouching tiger, mauling a small, innocent rock. We approached with caution, checking our credit cards were cocked, ready for any eventuality.

We were right. We sighed with relief as we realised the 'tiger' on the roof was indeed fibreglass, the 'rock' beneath it in no immediate danger. As we approached the door of this temple to Indian food, venerated by the locals for the past twenty years, we decided that despite its being in that region that is Near But Not Actually The South Circular, it was likely that these particular natives were friendly.

Inside the decor was bright and sassy, modern without it being tacky after a recent refurbishment. The lighting was bright enough to see the food, dark enough to feel intimate. Bare brick and wood-finished walls with muted, tasteful art works went just far enough in being contemporary to not just look cheap - so many 'modern' eateries think that clattering tables and laminate floors make them look cutting-edge.

It was festival time. The owner had recently been on a trip to the subcontinent and brought back 100 kilos of excess baggage in authentic ingredients and the atmosphere was exuberant. An exquisitely-dressed young woman brought gifts to the table, bangles and bhindis, and henna with which she decorated any hand proffered her way.

There was a special festival menu, and some of our party went for items on it. They had been matched with specific Indian wines. The food itself had a distinctly fusion feel to it - it was the first time I had ever seen rabbit or ostrich on a traditional Indian menu.

The food was excellent. The starters were intriguing and just spicy enough, the puppodums well-exectued and with interesting pickles. The coconut chicken was a particular favourite, but apart from a rather (read "very") bony and slightly dry sea bass, it was all superb. My side dish of smoked aubergine was wonderful.

The wine was pretty good - not a traditional wine-producing region, India is catching up fast. I wouldn't order a caseful, but it went well with what we were eating.

So. At the risk of sounding like Meridian Magazine, which never seems to find fault with anything, this is actually a really good restaurant which, if you avoid the sea bass, will almost definitely reward the effort taken in getting there.

They have a lot of festivals, apparently, and it's well worth finding out about when they are as they do go that extra mile.

www.babur.info

Fergus Noone Photography

15, The Market

Fergus Noone has moved about three shops from its position on the East side of the covered market to the vacant position left when the swanky dress shop shut recently. He does classy, pricey, mainly monochrome pictures, often of London and especially Greenwich. They're nice pictures - wholesome and strongly photographed, and would look very handsome indeed on the wall of a business or luxury flat. I wish I was as accomplished (you don't have to look at my efforts for long to see that I'm no photographer) and one day I might even buy a print or two. He also takes commissions for the usual weddings portraits and baby pictures.

The shop did just fine where it was on the East side of the market.

I'm rather disappointed, though, that the company has moved and turned that great shop on the Southern end with that wonderful wrought iron staircase and the dinky nooks and crannies into a rather sainitised, almost corporate blandness, losing the luxurious, slightly mysterious air it used to have. It's very smart, now, of course, with lots of wooden floors and tasteful lighting, but - well - I guess it's just not really my cup of tea. It's all open and light - no room for surprises or reason to explore any more.

But hell - I'm not going to be too sad - this is a one-off, individual shop doing its best to stave off the chains, albeit by possibly disguising itself as one. And the pics are fab...

www.fergusnoone.com

Dead Shops

Can't you just see YOUR lovely shop here?


Just for an albeit sick kind of laugh yesterday, I decided to count the dead shops along Trafalgar and Woolwich Roads. It was a depressing experience. It wasn't an easy job. Some shops are so dead that it's easy to miss them totally, blanking them out in your mind. Some are actually just about still alive but are so tatty I almost took them for empty. Some I couldn't tell where one shop ended and another began. For the record I counted along what can be at most a third of a mile, 33 empty premises. THIRTY THREE. Now albeit I'm counting a couple of gigantic ex-offices which are total eyesores and the Caffrey's joint but really - that's terrible.

It wasn't always so grim. The place must have buzzed once - only a few days ago I met a guy on Romford Market selling dress fabrics who said his old shop had been on Trafalgar Road. He said that the rents, the traffic and the lack of footfall drove him out.

There's such opportunity here. With all the new builds coming - at the horridly-named "Selection" (how much precious and expensive time did it take the marketing company to find the letters "SE10" in a word, I wonder) and its rather bizarre unnamed opposite number (am I the only person that thinks it looks like a bunch of portacabins stacked on top of each other?) not to mention whatever goes into the Old Hospital site, there are going to be loads of new people moving in - all of whom will need to buy stuff.

There's one shop in particular I've had my eye on for some time. My next door neighbour and I fantasise about setting up a really good quality cafe and cake shop a la Buenos Aires in the old Wavy Line store (see above) It's a fab little shop - with a side entrace for vans/ horses and carts. I have no idea what it's like inside as it's got filthy windows and net curtains and it seems to have been shut for ever, but it must be similar to the others which are a fair size. It was recently painted (probably part of the little push to brighten things up a bit round East Greenwich)and it wouldn't take much, I'm sure, to make it really exciting.

It's also got those lovely coloured ceramic tiles either side of it, nearly intact and little cast iron 'parapets' above the side entrance. There are several shops down this road with fabulous little quirks and flights of fancy, often in a dreadful state of repair or even painted over in vibrant colours (see the little obelisk-ball things over the newsagents next door to The Old Friends, a pub I won't discuss just now) for a particularly vomit-inducing yellow colour.) I've never understood why shopkeepers don't cherish these little bits of decorative history the way that homeowners have started to. I can only hope the trend back towards keeping original detail within homes will start to permeate the retail emporia of historic towns...

Together my neighbour and I dream of having lovely mis-matched furniture - squashy old sofas and wooden tables and chairs, proper crockery and good quality coffee (Union Roasters, natch...) The cakes would be under big glass domes and very much of the homemade variety - you know the sort of thing. My own favourite addition would be a secure buggy park in the back bit where the vans used to go so that there would be lots of room for pushchairs. There are plenty of schools and nurseries around - I'm sure there would be the clientele - and the rents must be dirt cheap for shops shut for so long, but I really can't do it.

Anyone who actually knows me will tell you that I haven't the temperament - I have patience neither with regular hours nor the General Public. I would be the original Grumpy Old Phantom - and would be forced to do a Very Bad Review Indeed of myself.

So my idea's up for grabs, guys. Someone must find the challenge attractive? I'll be a regular customer, and so will my next door neighbour, for starters...

If you don't like that shop there are 32 others to choose from - some in appalling condition; others recently refurbished. I got all excited recently when a shop a few doors up from my dream shop was totally gutted and refurbished - only to find that it had merely been done to give the flat upstairs a separate entrance so it could be let out on its own. The brnad new shop has whitewashed windows and an extremely dead feel to it. Depressing stuff indeed.

In case you don't fancy a coffee shop, here's my East Greenwich Wish List:


What we need:

A greengrocers (though for now the little market stall by Rick's Place is an excellent substitute)
A GOOD bakers (sorry - I just don't count Greggs)
A butchers
A bank
A GOOD QUALITY cafe down Woolwich Rd end
A stationers
A cheesemongers (well, a phantom can dream...)
A lovely sweetie shop (still dreaming)
A fabric emporium (dreaming on)
Anything interesting and quirky
A small Woolworths (sorry - a particularly peculiar personal perversion of mine - we all have our faults, please bear with me, I'm getting therapy)

Oh, and a truly GOOD restaurant.

What we DON'T need

Estate agents
Bookies' joints
Sandwich bars
Dodgy fried chicken shops
Estate Agents
Pizza delivery places
Takeaways - of ANY variety
Tool hire shops
Dodgy electrical appliance shops
Estate Agents
Funeral parlours
Hairdressers - have you SEEN how many hairdressers there are down these two roads? There might even be more hairdressers than estate agents, though at least the hairdressers do a useful job)
Amusement arcades
Tatty pound shops
Strip clubs
Did I mention Estate Agents?
Travel Agents
Recruitment Agents
Insurance agents
Any other kind of agents ESPECIALLY Estate Agents



Perhaps congestion charging will encourage more people to walk along these currently scruffy rat-runs for out-of-town traffic. They could be a valuable local resource. They're currently a depressing experience, but who knows what the future could bring.

Unofficial Dome Photos

I've just been directed to a fab site with some extremely unofficial photos taken on top of and inside the Dome (yes I'm STILL refusing to call it anything else)

You really need to check these out. Thanks, M, for the tip!

http://www.28dayslater.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=7845

BTW I'll soon have a special "contact the phantom" button for these splendid tips - I'll keep you posted...

Stewart John Antiques

The Phantom works best undercover (cue for much cloak-swirling, moustache-twirling and cackling of hideous laughter) so, its being tiny and my being not the kind that looks as though I buy antiques, even though I occasionally do, I waited before going into Stewart John Antiques until there was a family who was clearly interested in buying something that I could latch onto the back of and thus case the joint unnoticed...

From the outside, it looks tiny - situated on the south side of the covered market, its minute glass frontage is crowded with good-quality, high-priced items of dark wood furniture, golden clocks and crystal chandeliers - I was particularly taken with a pair of early electric candelabras. The family ahead of me was filling up the shop by themselves, so the guy directed them downstairs - somewhere I wouldn't have noticed had it not been for them disappearing. I, of course, followed, chatting to the poor people as if I knew them.

Downstairs the furniture was less grand - but more practical. The guy told us (well - the family I'd adopted, anyway) that they make furniture to order and that this was merely examples of the kind of thing they do. The family seemed less impressed - and it did look fairly - well - ordinary to me. The quality seemed very good indeed but the designs I have seen time and time again.

The family seemed ready to climb back up the the stairs so I skulked behind them, so I could earwig. The guy told them that they're a family business who have been going for 50 years. They have a warehouse out in Charlton on an industrial estate that the public can visit, where they keep the bulk of their stock. He told them that he wasn't the kind that piled 'em high, flogged 'em cheap, and he was happy to wait for the right buyer. Fair enough.

The family was making moves to leave, so I nipped past them, grabbing a flyer with the address of the warehouse on it, and darted outside.

I went to the warehouse the next day, Sunday. The estate was eerily empty and although the map on the flyer was good, I still didn't immediately find it due to some gates being closed.

Their bit of the warehouse is a couple of flights up. I wandered in to the abandoned room, filled from floor to ceiling with wardrobes, desks, bedsteads and bric-a-brac. Most of them had little labels with the price "restored" - they do their own restoration on the spot and only, it would seem, after you buy something, presumably so that they don't waste time restoring things that don't get sold. Dusty chandeliers hung from the ceiling and shelves of house-clearance-y bits and bobs lined the walls.

Those odd, strange items you always find in these places such as shop fittings and outsize theatrical props teetered on top of each other, jostling for position on the floor. It wasn't all fabulous stuff - some of it would be better labelled 'second-hand' rather than 'antique' - but the good stuff was certainly worth checking out if you're after something in particular - especially if you have a large house to furnish - there's a lot of big stuff in there.

I was just about to leave when the guy in charge of the warehouse arrived - he'd obviously been having his tea break, hardly expecting anyone to actually turn up. A very friendly man, he made me welcome and told me that they make one-off pieces of furniture and, indeed, entire rooms full of items to commission, including upholstery - their upholsterer is well into his 70s and slower than he was but still an extremely fine craftsman. I got the feeling that it wouldn't be cheap - but it would be good.

It's not Bonhams. But it's worth a peek, and though you're probably not going to find a bargain, you may well discover something rather interesting.

Don't forget to check the view out of the windows as you leave.

www.stewartjohnfurniture.com

Mary Mills

Local Councillor

This woman deserves a medal. Whatever political persuasion you are, whatever you think of the rest of Greenwich Council, Mary Mills is gold.

Why? Because she actually gives a damn. She lives locally, and the things she has to decide on directly affect her.

I have lost count of the anecdotal accounts of people for whom she has gone that extra mile on a personal basis - from major issues to tiny details - if you email her, she's onto your case immediately (and I mean immediately - someone I know told me she once replied within five minutes,)and even if she doesn't entirely agree with your cause she will make an effort to understand and help, burning shoe leather where necessary.

She's active in the Greenwich Industrial History Society and, I believe, the East Greenwich History group and has written countless articles and books herself, including a history of the Woolwich Ferry, making her an extremely knowledgeable historian and tireless activist in cultural matters to boot.

It's a shame that she's part of the Labour Party, really. Presumably she occasionally has to toe the party line from time to time where she wouldn't normally choose to (I can't tell, naturally) but that's not the real reason.

No. Frankly I suspect her membership may affect her status in the next election which is a great shame. This really isn't a party political issue. Mary Mills is a fine local councillor who cares what happens in her community - something which it could be argued possibly throws some of her colleagues into unfavourable relief. All power to her elbow.

A Thames Tale

Who IS the mysterious Amanda Hinge? Her work is immortalised on the side of Greenwich Power Station but no one seems to know who she is/was.

It's a funny little piece - a sort of ceramic collage on the stock-brick wall along the Thames Path just before Ballast Quay and just after the coal pier. It tells a charming story about a boy who's walking along the Thames picking up flotsam and jetsum - little pottery coke cans, paper bags and footprints - when he meets a strange-looking creature. The story doesn't make total sense if you try to read it as an adult - but who cares? This is a delightful piece of whimsy and yet another reason why Greenwich is more than the sum of its big-hitter tourist attractions. Things like this should be encouraged.

There are so many questions I have about the piece - but no one seems to know anything about it. The website advertised on the plaque next to it seems long-dead and I would have done well in the googlewhack competition by typing the words into my search engine.

When I tried to find a bit more out, the various bodies who paid for it seemed puzzled by my request - the best result I had was when I called Greenwich Council who remembered that it had been commissioned for the Millennium - but nothing else - certainly nothing more about the artist herself.

I'd love to know if Amanda Hinge has made any other art that we could see. Does anyone out there know her - or know of her? Is she local?

I think we should be told.

The Greenwich Eye?

So. The Old Royal Naval College, who presumably couldn't fail to notice the cash that the ice rink brings in every year, are apparently applying for planning permission to get a giant ferris wheel in the green bit just outside the Pepys Visitor Centre.

It will, of course, be much smaller than the Real McCoy - just 55m instead of The London' Eye's 135m, not least because it won't be permanent, but the Greenwich Foundation (not to be confused with Greenwich Hospital Trust, ok?) seems to think it will be a winner, even if it means they'll lose a few of the lucrative film crews who queue up every summer to pretend Greenwich is an American military school or an 18thC Belgian chateau.

I'm willing to give it a go. Somebody from a certain unnamed British tourist board (not Greenwich-based, I hasten to add) that I accidentally found myself next to at a restaurant the other day was very sniffy about the idea, sniggering about who-the-hell-would-want-to-go-on-it, which of course turned me from being initially sceptical myself into a raving advocate.

There have apparently already been six letters of protest. Here we go again. Ok - it will "spoil" the view for a few months this summer - but some of the great historical photos of places have included temporary entertainment structures - and you could see it as an eye-catcher rather than an eyesore. Presumably they're worried that it's going to become permanent. The London Eye, The Blackpool and Eiffel Towers, The Spinnaker - yes, ok they have become permanent but only because they're so well-loved. If the new wheel isn't loved it won't become permanent. It's as simple as that.

But hey - let's look at it another way. How come this is "uncharacteristically tall" and would be "of an overbearing scale within the waterfront area" (from a council report on the matter, which is recommending refusal of the proposal) when some of the stuff that has been given permission has managed to slip through?

I fail to see why this is ANY worse than some of the other "uncharacteristically tall"- and very definitely permanent - structures that have gained planning permission recently. How about that lovely development at Lovell's Wharf? Wood Wharf? The splendid Deptford Creek erection or the new proposals at Deptford itself? Are they somehow invisible because they contain minute apartmentlets for business execs who don't know what else to do with their bonuses?

If we moan about absolutely everything new that is proposed, then we'll never be taken seriously when something truly bad looms.

I'd say give it a try - and as a sop to the moaners say that permission absolutely won't be granted for next year - to be reconsidered the year after of course. Heaven knows - it might actually be GOOD...

I can't see that it will do much harm if it's coming down after a few months and it could be quite fun. I'd certainly take a ride...

But here's one final thought. Why is this being proposed in what is effectively a valley? Wouldn't the view be more spectacular from the top of Blackheath? (Ok, I know, I know, The Greenwich Foundation don't actually administer Blackheath)

Guess I'll just have to make do with the bank holiday carny...

What does everyone else think?

Winter Gardens

Avery Hill Park, Eltham

Ok - so it's not actually Greenwich - so shoot me - it's in the borough and everyone needs to get out occasionally...


The Winter Gardens at Eltham are one of those surprising little places which make being a tourist in your own borough worthwhile. Clearly with a name like that, I waited until deepest January to visit, picking a bright, clear and bloomin' freezing afternoon to pack up a flask and buns and head off towards the Eltham Campus of Greenwich University.

It's not a generally exciting building complex, Greenwich University's Eltham Campus now occupying what's left of self-made millionaire 'Colonel' John Thomas North's mansion - which is why when you do discover the hothouse it's all the more delightful.

It was built during the 1830s but not an awful lot happened to it until the colourful 'Colonel' bought it in 1888.

North had started out, it is said, as a gun runner in South America where he'd gone to build railways (it's amazing how one can get sidetracked, isn't it...) but eventually found his fortune in seagull guano, wich any fule no makes great fertiliser.

But being a shit importer has never guaranteed success on the social ladder, and though North had made a pile Oop North on the where-there's-muck-there's-brass ticket, and though he had heaped largesse on the good folk of Leeds he still just didn't seem to get invited to the right parties.

He decided to buy Avery Hill and do it up so that he could have a swanky London pad. He had the main road moved to Bexley so that he wouldn't actually have to come in contact with the South London riffraff and spent over £ 200,000 on the interior design alone. He commissioned TW Cutler to remodel it in the popular Italianate style, but Cutler went overbudget even for the likes of North and was sacked; his assitant promoted in his place.

North was responsible for the fabulous hothouse, which he presumably fertilised with his own imports, but at the time it wasn't the hothouse which was the star of the show. Instead an outrageous three-roomed Turkish bath took pride of place - with tiled walls, marble floors and silver fittings, it outshone the other big Turkish baths at the time and the architectural critics were agog.

His home complete, North was made an honourary Colonel in Tower Hamlets but what he really wanted was a knighthood.

He invited the Prince of Wales to tea, but it would seem that Bertie wasn't overawed by the experience. North never did get his knighthood. He lived only another five years in his creation before his death in 1896.

His family, unimpressed with the extravagance, immediately put Avery Hill on the market. It took two years to sell, and even then it went for considerably less than North paid for it. The new owner never moved in.

It's been in the hands of the council since 1902 - they bought it and the park for £ 25,000 - a bit of a bargain even then. What's left of the house is now part of the uni but the hothouses and park are open to the public - and a splendid job they have done too, maintaining it - it can't be a cheap thing to do.

If you're driving, you enter through the grounds of the uni, you can park in what must have once been a walled kitchen garden (well, I did, anyway...) and walk around to the astonishingly large palm house, heated even in the darkest, dankest of winter months to house the exotic plants so fashionable amongst wealthy Victorians and Edwardians.

In the centre, a giant Norfolk Pine dominates the view, and to either side of the red-brick glasshouses are smaller, delicate little rooms. The one to the left provides a great place to sit and contemplate on a late winter afternoon as it makes the most of what watery sun there is, the only interruption the odd university group using it as a film location or for a botany lesson. The one to the right has a replica of a beautiful marble fountain (the original was half-inched) playing over cyclamen and fernery.

The greenery of the park tumbles away down the hill towards football pitches and dull suburban housing, but here is a little corner which will be forever Victorian splendour. Enjoy...


BTW. Sadly, the Turkish baths were bombed to buggery in WWII, but there is a fantastic account of them by Victorian Turkish Bath specialist Malcolm Shifrin at

http://www.victorianturkishbath.org/6DIRECTORY/AtoZEstab/Houses/Avery/AverySF.htm

Gloucester Circus

I notice that the two houses that have been being restored on the posh side of Goucester Circus are up for sale for £ 2.5m each. I am sure that someone will tell me that that's cheap for London but it's still probably the steepest these babies have been up for, so I thought that today was as good as any to take a look at the joys of Gloucester Circus.

It's an odd place - clearly intended to mirror the great circuses of Bath and central London, but you have to be careful which angle you view it from - only just over half of it is 18th Century - the rest is dodgy 1950s flats. I have always pondered to myself which side I would prefer - to live in the flats and have the view or to have the gorgeous houses and look at the flats. In reality of course there's no contest, especially in summer - the oval central green, surrounded by railings, is full of lovely old mature trees which effectively mask each side.

It's easy to assume that half of the circus was the victim of the wartime bombs that devastated great swathes of Greenwich, but the truth is rather more prosaic.

Gloucester Circus was designed by local architect Michael Searles (who later went on to create The Paragon in Blackheath) and built between 1791 and 1809. Searles, who started out as a surveyor, had grand ideas - not for him the boring old circles of most circuses being built at the time - he fancied for his Greenwich version something new - an oval. It was going to be two sweeping crescents with pediments at each end - one opening onto the Park and Crooms Hill; the other onto Royal Hill.

Trouble is, Greenwich wasn't really posh enough at the time to take a feature such as this - there just weren't enough moneyed people who wanted to live in what was, frankly, a bit of a grotty area. Odd pockets of grandeur existed - such as Wren's Hospital and individual houses - and even the Spread Eagle had made a bit of an effort to spruce itself up - but South East London was, to most, just an industrialish, dock-ish sort of town. (Actually, some people I meet from other areas still regard it as a bit of a backwater. I don't make much effort to dissuade them from this - we don't want any old hoi-poloy coming here, do we...)

There wasn't enough initial takeup on Gloucester Circus, which was, after all, a speculative build needing the cash from the first sales to fund the rest, and only one complete side was built - and even that took nearly twenty years to do. The pediments were finished - albeit a bit wimpishly - and a couple of extra houses built on the west side, but eventually the builders just gave up. I bet there are a few developers who'd jump at the opportunity to turf out the poor residents of the 1950s(?) flats and finish the job now, though.

Somehow poor old Gloucester Circus didn't last very long as lovely homes for the upper middle classes. By the early 20th Century they'd fallen into disrepair and eked out a living as tenements for dockers and other working class people. It was only comparitively recently that they have come up in the world to what James Johnston is (perhaps optimistically) calling "probably the best address in Greenwich."

Which brings us to the present. If you want one of these houses now, it will set you back £ 2.5m - but don't forget - it will be useless if you want more than 6 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and 3 ensuites. I couldn't find out how big the gardens are at the back - do tell if you know. The one person I have ever met from the Circus tells me that the private gardens in the centre are today a bit of a nightmare to upkeep - they are jointly responsible for the now rather large trees. I doubt I'd complain...

It's a popular haunt for film crews - like much of Greenwich - but sadly it rarely stands in for itself - it's usually meant to be somewhere else. We need more films set in Greenwich.

Marcet Books

4a Nelson Road

Tucked away down one of the teeny-tiny little alleys leading into Greenwich Covered Market, Marcet books is a coiled spring of a shop - minute in size, but so stuffed from floor to ceiling with second hand and antique books that it looks like it's just about to explode. My kind of shop.

It's down the little slipthrough that also has the flank of Warwick Leadlay's gallery. The rest of the alley is pretty unremarkable so it's easy to spot Marcet Books - a single doorway with a little shelf outside for bargain books.

It has a comprehensive website, which looks as though it lists every book in the shop (glad I didn't get that job) and will ship worldwide.

Prices are reasonable and it has an interesting small section with local history and guidebooks. Well worth a browse - though you can find yourself a bit buffeted - both by other people and stacks of books - on market days. If you buy something the guy (Martin Kemp? - that's the name on the website) will give you a second hand carrier bag for your purchase but will actually smile (something I suspect is a rare event) if you have your own bag.

www.marcetbooks.co.uk

The Phantom Returns...

Yup, folks, after being away for a week on a TOP SECRET MISSION, your friendly local spook is back.

Anything happened while I'm away that I should know about?

The Phantom is away...

...as they say in the newspapers.

Expect normal service to resume on the Greenwich Phantom website from Saturday 17th feb.

I'm gutted that I'll be missing tomorrow's snow. If anyone gets any good pics, let me know!

Olivers v. The Spread Eagle. Round One...

I read with great misery this morning that mavarick bar owner Olivier has started having trouble from his big bully of a neighbour already.

Since Greenwich Inc. obliterated Spread Eagle Antiques to extend the Spread Eagle restaurant, part of the eaterie now sits directly over Olivers.

Olivers is one of the few remaining bars in Greenwich which still encourages live music - since Greenwich Inc started its mighty invasion music in any of their venues has virtually ground to a standstill. It would seem that they are intent on stopping music everywhere else too.

After a complaint about the noise from Olivers filtering through to the restauarant (which after all chose to extend - Greenwich Inc. KNEW that Olivers was there - as the incomers THEY could have put sound insulation in - but no...) Olivier has been told to install sound proofing.

This reminds me of a similar incident with the Bulls Head in Barnes - a long-running and famous jazz club which was nearly bankrupted when a new-build flat owner complained about the noise, forced the Bulls Head to install soundproofing (which it did only through the generosity of musicians who clubbed together and did benefits to raise the cash) - and then promptly moved house.

Am I being really cynical to put two and two together here? A small place like Olivers is going to struggle financially to install soundproofing - I wonder whether Greenwich Inc. will kindly offer to take the matter off his hands and buy him out, losing yet another quirky one-off in the town centre?

If anyone hears of any fundraising efforts to help Olivier, do let me know. This is one battle I truly hope he wins.

Congestion Charging

I've just been pointed towards the GreenwichWatch blog (www.greenwichwatch.blogspot.com)which has a leak about the concept of congestion charging.

I'd highly recommend you take a peek at their site for full details (well as full as we're going to get) but for the record, here's my twopenn'orth.

I am actually in favour of some kind of congestion charging in Greenwich - we have far too much through-traffic in the town centre. But Greenwich Council appear to have forgotten something here - that we, the residents of Greenwich actually pay their wages. I wonder at what point of the decision-making process we were going to be told about this?

This all seems rather advanced stuff - surely we should have at least been afforded the courtesy of being told about it before it was decided. According to Greenwich Watch - and I don't know how much they actually know and how much is knee-jerk - the decision to have charging has already been made - the only thing left to decide is exactly what the zone will cover.

To my mind, I doubt that Greenwich will be able to charge the amount that Central London charges and as for whether residents get a discount, well - that's what the Central London residents have and I can't believe that we will be expected to cough up full fee just for living here.

Maybe there could be some kind of permit system, like we already have with visitor parking permits - each resident is allowed a certain number each year for essential deliveries and visitors?

To my mind, what we want to curb is not the basic use of residents' vehicles but the use of Greenwich Town Centre as a rat-run for outside vehicles ( mainly the lorries) just passing through. Congestion charge may help that. Frankly I don't think the Government would allow the Tunnel Approach to be charged as this would be messing with their highways.

I wonder whether we aren't all getting a little bit hot and bothered about this without knowing the full facts. Though it's easy to see why that's happening when we don't know the full facts because Greenwich Council have decided not to tell us.

Pickwick Papers and Fabrics

Nelson Rd

A sparkling little jewel of a shop, Pickwick Papers and Fabrics is one of those sumptuous decorating emporia which look like they really belong in Kensington or Chelsea. The black painted exterior shows off the display of rich fabrics in the window and the curiously-clad wire dummy just finishes the look nicely.

Inside they do a vast range of wallpaper and fabric samples by all the big names - from Sanderson and Cole & Son to Cath Kidston as well as a bunch of smaller, more exclusive designers. A very pleasant young assistant was immediately on the case as soon as I walked in, so I didn't feel lost or ignored; she then left me to browse. Downstairs they have a big squashy sofa for lounging with a cup of tea whilst pouring over the sample books, and there's a very odd glass-fronted display at the bottom - a bit like a shop window in reverse.

They can mix up certain paint ranges on the spot, but if you want something a bit more upmarket, like Farrow & Ball or Zoffany, you need to order a couple of days in advance.

There is a good range of sewing notions and haberdashery too - from bobbins and thimbles to threads and scissors, and those extremely girly tools with floral handles that seem to be all the rage at the moment. The whole place is wonderfully louche - even the bit where they seem to have had a small leak and have ironically lost their own wallpaper is somehow rather fitting.

In fact the only thing that spoiled my visit was the woman (one of the owners?) with the posh voice who talked VERY loudly and persistantly on her mobile phone the entire time I was in there trying to concentrate on fabrics, totally breaking the spell. It was quite clearly intended to be heard and prove how "cool" she was, but it actually had the effect of my not buying anything because I couldn't bear the noise pollution any longer... Horrid.

www.pickwickpapers.co.uk

Pest Request

ANONYMOUS ASKS:

"I wasn't sure where to post this . .but was wondering if any Greenwich residents had any advice for a local based pest control company? we have some unwelcome mice visitors and keen to get rid of them fast, the council offers a service but the next available date is the end of march! any help would be welcomed! Great blog, really useful..."

THE PHANTOM REPLIES:

Thanks for the compliment!

Hmm. Pest control, eh.

When we moved into our house, we had to get some damp proofing done - we went to Rentokil because the mortgage company demanded it. They did an ok job as far as I can tell. My next door neighbour has been getting quotes and the Rentokil man was the only one honest enough to tell her that she might not need it. Rentokil deal with all kinds of nasty beasties - and boring and obvious though it may sound to suggest a big name, at least they won't disappear by next week if you have any comeback...

I haven't tried Kiltox, but you might want to get a quote from them - not least because if you have a Greenwich Card you can get a discount (make sure you tell them you have the card AFTER you get the quote!!!)

I'm relieved to say I haven't had any real necessity to call out pest control people ( we have a cat - who can be a bit of a pest herself) but I'm sure someone here will have had the misfortune to have creepy crawlies at some point and may be able to help...

GOOD LUCK

BTW At some point soon I will be adding an "Ask the Phantom" button - if I can help, I'll do my best - if I can't I daresay someone here will be able to point you in the right direction...

Greenwich Power Station Part Two

Can't you just see a little cafe here?







Ok - I've been doing some digging -yes - it is definitely still going.

It was built between 1902 and 1910 for the tramways of London and it's still used as a back up electricity source for the London Underground.

Even in those days there were the classic local objectors - the chimneys had to be reduced in height from 250ft to 182 feet after the Royal Observatory's astronomers complained they couldn't see beyond them.

It was originally coal-fired - which is why there's a little pier onto the Thames but since it's now gas and oil-powered, there isn't the coal to be brought in and ask to be taken out any more so the pier is unused (aw c'mon - don't you think it would make a great observation platform? Maybe a nice cafe???)

Interesting local trivia: C Day Lewis (who lived up Crooms Hill - look out for the blue plaque opposite the theatre - I recently met an old lady who knew him and was most piqued when he gazumped her) set a murder mystery under the coaling pier. He was writing as 'Nicholas Blake' at the time. Isn't it amazing what you find on the internet...

Debate

Hey guys

A certain Anonymous person (I'd love a name for you, Mr/Ms Anonymous - any ridiculous nickname will do) has been saying that Friday nights are not a good night for late-opening for the new fishmonger as by that time in the week they're zonked out from working all week. They'd like to see another late-night either instead or as well as Fridays.

Now it seems to me that now is a good time to be talking about opening times as they've just opened and obviously they're looking to find the right hours for their customers. So - I wonder what late night would YOU like to see at the fishmongers?

Maybe we can find a good date between us to suggest to them - I'm sure they'd like to know (I doubt they read this blog - but emails are always welcome, I'm sure.)

What do you think, guys? I'm wondering about Thursday evenings - not quite the end of the week, but in plenty of time for any special dinners on Friday or Saturday. Anyone got any other ideas?

Greenwich Power Station

Greenwich Power Station from the gardens of Trinity Almshouses






Ok - so hands up everyone who thought it was dead? A great monolith to the Victorian age of steam, its forbidding, satanic walls defiant to the world, gothic windows reaching to the top of its cathedral-like roof, the long-since redundant pier reaching into a river that has no further use for it, the peeling white paint along a wall that seems to reach to heaven and which must have really cheesed off the delightful little 17th century almshouse residents next door when it was built on their orchard...

I certainly did. The beautiful Victorian industrial brickwork, the curious little built-in cottage with the high turret, the great chimneys worthy of any Pink Floyd album cover - I really thought they had gone forever, leaving the site wide open for some horrid development of luxury flats or some ghastly covered shopping mall. I even blamed its demise when I got stuck in that gigantic tube gridlock a couple of years ago where I managed to miss a party where I could have made a serious impression and instead ended up in a bus queue that snaked round the entire Isle of Dogs. Not that it was all bad. I had nursed secret dreams of using that pier for a splendid public pier of the Brighton variety - and I still think it would make an fun project.

But here's the good news. Greenwich Power Station still is exactly that - a working power station. I was wandering along the back road to the auction when I saw a security man having a fag, and cheerily asked him what it was going to be used for. He looked surprised, then laughed

"A lot of people think it's not working any more. But it is. National Grid during the day, Underground at peak times. The engines start up at 4.30."

Well - there you go. Out of interest, the funny littel turret appears to be totally unoccupied and according to the security man is locked up and secret. Now there's the makings of an Enid Blyton adventure...

Dress Circle Dress Agency

The covered market

Dress Circle opened last November and about time too. We've been needing a dress agency for some time - both so that we can buy some lovely good-quality pre-loved clothes - and get rid of a few of those sale-time mistakes that hang unworn in every girl's (and some boys') bulging wardrobe.

The shop is tiny - like all the Greenwich market boutiques so I thought I might have missed the boat when I brought in a few of my own items - all unworn from years of somehwat over-optimistic weightloss intentions. I wish I could say I don't make errors like that any more, but...

They only take decent stuff - which is understandable - it means that what they sell is good and it doesn't become like a jumble sale. They are nice enough to be polite if they're not interested and were friendly and helpful with me, though I detect a steely edge underneath - these women are not soft touches.

The deal works like this. If they take your stuff, they hold it for up to three months and if it sells you get 40%, which seems ok to me - let's face it, it wasn't doing anything at the back of my wardrobe, and they're doing all the work here. They send out cheques once a quarter. If anything doesn't sell, you get it back.

It's a bit cluttered - but personally I rather like that - you feel like you're just about to find an undiscovered bargain. I recommend wearing blinkers if you're only going in to sell. They also do jewellery and shoes, as well as bags and the odd hat. Presumably it's the same deal. The ladies tell me that business is brisk and that there's quite a turnover. We'll see...

The Trafalgar Cafe

Trafalgar Rd

Thank you to everyone who told me to go to The Trafalgar Cafe. After bloomin' yonks of walking past it, I finally went in with a couple of friends yesterday to find out what all the fuss was about.

I confess I do like it. I like its unpretentiousness, its simple menu and friendly service. I like the fact that the walls are quite plain - painted wood panelling below; cream paint above, decorated only with a few posters for up and coming events which I know now I will not make. The tables and cross-backed chairs are clean and tidy and the atmosphere fresh and unhurried.

The blackboard is quite terrifying at first glance until you realise that the options aren't that overwhelming - just a few basic things with lots of different toppings, really.

My 'control' meal of jacket spud had sold out - the nice lady was honest enough to admit that if I really wanted one it would have to be microwaved, so I had a sandwich which was about three inches thick - whopping great hunks of crusty bread and a good thick Tuna Mayo filling. I was a bit disappointed that my coffee was merely of the instant variety - I should have checked first, I guess.

I'll be going back to the Trafalgar Cafe. Thanks for the tip.

Greenlands Health Foods

The Covered Market

What a revelation. I had always walked past this place, dismissing it as a bit of a hippy honeypot for the Ethnic Hat Brigade only. The mere fact that it was almost impossible to pass by outside for the amount of dodgy-looking healthy stuff piled up on racks was enough to put me off.

But in the pursuit of finding out everything there is to know about Greenwich I stepped inside, presumably looking every inch like some green-skinned alien walking into uncharted territory. I instantly began to eat my diseased opinionated words. Sorry folks. I will never be so prejudiced again. Til next time, of course...

This shop is incredible. It sells every health food known to humankind, a cure for pretty much every ailment (if you're into herbal remedies) and some splendid extras too - all in a boutique the size of my living room, which believe me, is not big.

The shelves climb all the way to the ceiling and are packed so tightly with goods of every healthy description that you fear to take something out unless the whole lot caves in on you. There are bags of grains you've never heard of, packets of seeds, boxes of curious foodie-type objects, tubs of sundry vitamins and supplements by the hundredweight - as well as all the usual stuff you'd expect. The central shelf stack is equally well-stocked and there are fridges for fresh stuff along the side. No wonder they have to spill out onto the pavement.

Beauty Without Cruelty. My goodness me. I used to buy that stuff in the 80s. Whatever happened to them? Well - now I know - they are alive and well, and being sold in Greenwich.

I am not totally sold on the efficacy of every health product ever known to man, but if you fancy a dabble, this is a fantastic place to dip a toe into the world of complimentary therapy. The people behind the counter (and full marks to them for actually physically fitting into such a tiny space) are friendly and helpful.

I emerged some time afterwards with a bulging bag of interesting stuff. Being the Greenwich Phantom is occasionally an expensive indulgence...

BTW Linseed is revolting. But just to show I don't hold this against them personally, I have chosen Greenlands as one of The Phantom's Favourite Haunts

HTML Cock-ups

Folks - I've just noticed that some of the older posts on this blog got a bit corrupted when I moved them over from livejournal. I'm slowly ironing out the creases, but in the meanwhile, sorry about the weird-looking characters in some areas.

Gambling Opportunities in Greenwich

I thought that to curb some of the disappointment over the Dome failing to secure the Super Casino, I'd spend today talking about some of the delightful opportunities we have already have to lose our money here in leafy Greenwich.

You're especially in luck if you live in the East - there are at least three bookies in one road alone, though West Greenwich lags behind only a little.

For a straight-ahead betting shop, the adorable E.Coombes can be found in no fewer than 3 locations - Greenwich Church St, Trafalgar Road and Woolwich Road - with coverage like that nobody needs to be ever more than a few steps away from their next flutter.

The oddly-named Be-Emotions is in Mosely Row - though I know nothing about it.

If you're looking for something with a spot of 'character,' the Coral on Trafalgar Road is located in what was obviously once a bank, so a nice, solid building with lovely colourful posters outside - and they even do an online service if you don't want to leave the comfort of your own home. I am delighted - let's face it - East Greenwich has FAR TOO MANY banks...

Then there's the Plaza. Who needed a cinema anyway? I was excited when I saw that they were redeveloping the ground floor - and could hardly contain myself when I discovered it was going to be a bookies - previously there had been a gap of almost a quarter of a mile with no opportunity whatsoever to place a bet. Ladbrokes are filling an important gap. And what a magnificent floral display outside!I can only hope that upstairs - where the Chinese restaurant was - and - hell - why not - downstairs where the ill-fated lap-dancing club has left a gaping hole in our community will perhaps take a bingo parlour...

Now there IS a gap in the market. If you want to play bingo, sadly you'll have to go to Catford, Eltham or Woolwich. Tut. Shame on you, Gala. But - maybe now it's lost the Super Casino, Anschutz could turn the Dome into a giant bingo hall. Guaranteed to attract high-rollers from across the globe.

All is not lost though - remember that you can always buy a National Lottery ticket from pretty much any newsagents. And there's always Poker at my place third Friday of the month...