Ahhh. I have a really sweet Ask the Phantom here.

Jemma asks:

I’ve lived in Greenwich for 3 years, having previously lived in Eltham for 8 years. I wouldn’t want to move anywhere else! My boyfriend moved his home and his job from Surrey last year and he loves it too.

We are getting married this summer and want it to be in Greenwich. We’d like a civil ceremony at Rangers House but really can’t afford the venue hire (£ 4k) to hire it for the evening so we’re thinking of hiring the orangery at the fan museum for a lunch instead. What do you think of the fan museum for a reception? Any help would be appreciated!

I think the Fan Museum would be a fabulous venue for a wedding – I didn’t know they did them, but it would be wonderful – elegant and unusual. Presumably you don’t have a massive guest list as the place isn’t that large (I would also find out in advance when the roadworks are likely to end – the photographs would be a bit duff with massive holes in the road…)

I have no idea what their catering is like – but maybe you have outside caterers in mind?

The Trafalgar Tavern is a lovely place for a reception, but the prices have taken a serious hike in recent years, and if Rangers House is out of the question, then I suspect that The Trafalgar will be too. Ditto Eltham Palace, which I am sure you have already considered.

There are several lovely venues within the Old Royal Naval College – not just the Painted Hall or the Chapel. Ask them about the Admiral’s House – or even, if you’re after ‘quirky,’ the skittle alley.,21,AT.html

The Queen’s House would be another elegant solution for a larger party. Again I have no idea of prices. I don’t know whether the garden at the Old Royal Observatory is available but if it isn’t the Octagon Room may be.

I once went to a wedding at the Cutty Sark. It was wonderful, though the peripatetic trad jazz band ran into problems with the low ceilings – the sousaphone player had to sit down. I don’t think, with all the tent-y stuff there is round it just now, that it’s available (or desirable) at the moment, but when it gets its glass roof, it will be fabulous.

If you want to be REALLY far out, you could always do what some friends of mine did – a pagan handfasting ceremony at the stone circle in Hilly Fields. That’s free – but be prepared to have small boys on bicycles riding past sniggering at robe-clad guests invocating the spirits (sky-clad not allowed on a Saturday afternoon…)

Second thoughts, you’re probably best off with the Orangery.

Anyone else got any more suggestions for elegant, moving locations for Jemma’s wedding? Let us know what you choose, Jemma – we’ll come along and throw some rice…

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