Quandary
Here's a poser for you.
Last night I was walking past the power station towards the Royal Naval College, when a woman streaked past me, running as though her life depended on it. A microsecond later a scary-looking burly bloke ran past, in hot pursuit. I turned to watch, as I thought she might be in trouble.
About 25 metres up the road he caught her and started beating her up. It was clearly 'a domestic.'
My question is this. What do you think I should have done next?
Wade in and risk getting a beating myself? It was still light, but in a side street, pretty much deserted and the bloke was a real nastylooking type.
Call the police - who might not get there until it had all finished, but might at least prevent it happening again or even press charges?
Taken no action - after all - it was none of my business - it was between them and judging from the look of her it wasn't the first time it had happened?
I'll tell you what I actually did (or didn't do) in a couple of days. In the meanwhile, opinions, please...
Last night I was walking past the power station towards the Royal Naval College, when a woman streaked past me, running as though her life depended on it. A microsecond later a scary-looking burly bloke ran past, in hot pursuit. I turned to watch, as I thought she might be in trouble.
About 25 metres up the road he caught her and started beating her up. It was clearly 'a domestic.'
My question is this. What do you think I should have done next?
Wade in and risk getting a beating myself? It was still light, but in a side street, pretty much deserted and the bloke was a real nastylooking type.
Call the police - who might not get there until it had all finished, but might at least prevent it happening again or even press charges?
Taken no action - after all - it was none of my business - it was between them and judging from the look of her it wasn't the first time it had happened?
I'll tell you what I actually did (or didn't do) in a couple of days. In the meanwhile, opinions, please...
Labels: Debates
posted by The Greenwich Phantom at
10:26
14 Comments:
I am pretty sure I went past those two on the 188 bus... there was a load of screaming and shouting and a (possibly drunk-seeming?) thug with a red face bawling after and chasing a woman into an alley by the car-park on Park Lane. It being London, I was initially concerned and then rapidly less bothered as the bus moved on and they disappeared from sight. In fact, if I hadn't read you site this morning I would have forgotten about it entirely, I am sure. It's a horrible situation: I have intervened before and found myself facing down obviously violent individuals without the faintest idea what to do next. It's only happened to me when there have been other people around, though... not sure what I'd do on an empty-ish street. Also, I have never been sure that my contribution hasn't merely postponed more of the same, or possibly even inflamed the situation, particularly as the Police have never seemed to have been able to take obviously effective action. I don't think there is a right or wrong course of action... it's just one of those spur-of-the-moment things during which events seem to just carry you along with them, for better or worse.
Good grief! If he was beating her up, there's no question - call the police!
I would have called the police too. I don't think there is much else you can do: if you try to intervene yourself you risk getting beaten up too, if you do nothing then...well, would you want someone walking past to do nothing if you were being beaten up? Call 999, tell the police where its happening and then carry on.
Yes, call the police, definitely. That goes without saying. But I think the dilemma was whether or not to intervene directly oneself.
My husband has intervened before with some teenage bullies... and has the scars to prove it. He'd do it again, but it's scary and he's a 6ft (fairly) tough bloke.
I will not stand by and watch anyone being beaten even thought I'm a small woman. If nothing else a snap of the event on your mobile camera is useful to the police, for me, it stopped a nasty square up of 2 Blackheath Blue Coat girls with approx 50 kids egging them on, right outside the library and to my horror most of the Standard shops staff just watching, my picture taking was spotted by one kid and shouted out so they dispersed. The memory of the way this girl calmly passed bits of school uniform off to her friend and prepared herself for a kicking as well as her mothers wroth at ripped and bloody clothes still makes me feel sick.
To be honest I'd have been even more scared of kids than I was of this bloke, even though he was a nasty-looking piece of work - kids have no idea when to stop.
It's strange in these situations, a wierd sort of logic takes over and time stretches and contracts in ways I can't really explain.
In that microsecond I had to think, I decided to wade in. I asked the girl if she needed help (I wasn't going to step in physically, naturally); the guy answered "we're just 'avin' a little argument, orright?"
So I asked the girl again. They both stopped, which was a blessing for my nerves at least, and she said that she didn't need help. Frankly there was little else I could do (though I like the photo idea, might remember that one.) They seemed to at least calm down a bit, and I walked away - feeling a bit impotent, if I'm honest. As I walked, I looked round, but they weren't watching me. They were at least talking - not even shouting.
I hope rather than expect that she might have one less bruise this time. But this is clearly something that was normal to them.
A friend of mine works for the CPS, trying to prosecute on behalf of domestic abuse victims, and gets regularly frustrated at the number who just won't testify, who are prepared to put up with this behaviour for years.
Should I have called the police? Possibly. But in that split second I realised that by the time they'd arrived these two would have disappeared. I spent the rest of the evening wondering if I did the right thing, hence my question here.
I like how you talked to the girl. In similar situations I have approached the aggressor. Always scary, but my adrenaline gets up and I don't think things through. I've never been caught in the middle, just told to mind my own business. I think that's because I'm a girl and I'm not very tall.
I often whip out my phone to take pictures of kids doing graffiti or other naughtiness, but I never do anything with it. I guess that's the next step. I have also called the police when a fight erupts or I think young children are endangered (i.e., the air gun fights in the Pleasaunce a few years back), but they always take forever to respond.
I'm not sure what I would have done, but I have noticed that that whole area of Greenwich and Trafalgar Road is becoming increasingly more rough as of recent weeks. Not a night goes by these days without us having to endure screaming, shouting and fighting coming from the street. Personally, I would be careful who you are dealing with..
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Greenwich Lalas
I know what you mean about the rise in incidents, just round the corner from the domestic, on the same nigh,t a skip was set on fire, we had a fire engine and everything.
You're probably right, Grenwich Lalas. I don't really know what made me do it. It wasn't terribly sensible. And I guess I'm almost as cross with her as I am with him, though, that she allowed him to do that. It was so very obviously not the first time, and to do it in public must really mean that they're so used to it that it's not a big deal.
But then I guess I'm lucky enough not to be a victim of domestic abuse, serial or otherwise, so I won't ever be able to understand the hold a violent person can have over another.
Blimey - I hope she wasn't IN the skip...
Andrekabu, I know exactly what you mean about not really thinking straight - I confess I wasn't totally thinking right at the time.
That fuzziness of thought actually comes in handy sometimes though. I have a real squeamishness for blood and goo, but put me in an accident situation and I can deal with virtually any amount of nastiness with an almost serene calm. I chuck up afterwards, of course.
I think you should be proud of the way you handled the situation, you had no time to think, didn't put yourself in danger but you did get them to stop shouting at each other. You didn't fix their relationship or cure cancer but stopping a beating is a very good deed for any one day, what is it they say about all it takes for evil to survive is for a good person to do nothing.
MJ
Aw gee. wasn't really after praise, just to see what other people would have done. I like the mobile phone photo idea - that had never occurred to me before but it's simple and could be very effective...
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